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Orange Blooded [2053]
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Question about alimony
Jan 31, 2017, 2:36 PM
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I already make 3x what my girlfriend does.
If we get married, in say, a year. Buy a house together. Get a dog and/or maybe have kids. And then 3 years later we get divorced.
How much money am I looking at paying in alimony and/or child support? Does it depend on the lawyer? Who gets to keep the dog.
I mean, obviously you shouldn't marry someone if you feel this is gonna be an issue, so I'm talking in purely hypotheticals. You ###### got me worried and I know soccerkrzy's threads have referenced this from time to time.
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CU Medallion [73569]
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answer
Jan 31, 2017, 2:37 PM
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prepare thy anus for da butt ######.
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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Should I put a prenup on the table or
Jan 31, 2017, 2:38 PM
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will that go South with future mother-in-law fast?
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All-In [48078]
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I am no expert on this, but does prenup..
Jan 31, 2017, 2:40 PM
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work for things that you acquire after you are married?
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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IDK, I'm lost
Jan 31, 2017, 2:40 PM
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Just trying to figure out a way to not get got
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CU Medallion [54011]
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In order to not get got...
Jan 31, 2017, 2:46 PM
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Make sure that both of you do not consider divorce an option. No matter how bad it seems at times. Be dedicated to working it out and sticking with each other.
And even this doesn't guarantee a marriage that lasts. Their is a certain amount of trust that you have to put into the other person. And hopefully they are as committed or even more so than you are. Sometimes people just can't do what they set out to do. I hope it works out for you, regardless of the path you choose. It's tough out there. But when it works, it's worth it.
I need to start drinking earlier in the mornings!
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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All-In [48078]
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Maybe not though. Here is why..
Jan 31, 2017, 3:22 PM
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There are prenups where people agree on an amount before the marriage that one would get is there is a divorce based on certain reasons. Trump had to give Marla Maples something like 2 million only. It didn't matter what he made after the marriage. I am sure prenups vary vastly.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here
Jan 31, 2017, 3:27 PM
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But I don't think Southernavenger has the net worth Trump does.
But I could be wrong.
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All-In [48078]
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I am going to go out on a limb here and state...
Jan 31, 2017, 3:35 PM
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that prenups have an incredible amount of variations. I have a friend who got married who personally wasn't worth much. He had a prenup done where his wife couldn't take any of his inheritance, that my friend would likely get upon his fathers death one day(in the tens of millions) down the road if they divorced. Prenup doesn't exactly mean what you think it means. It's the deal you sign before marriage. The variations of the prenup are endless.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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What exactly do I think it means that it doesn't?***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:36 PM
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All-In [48078]
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Good question..
Jan 31, 2017, 3:43 PM
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I am no expert on this, but does prenup..
Posted: Jan 31, 2017 2:40 PM
Reply
work for things that you acquire after you are married?
Your response..
I think that is explained in the "pre" part of that word***
Posted: Jan 31, 2017 2:45 PM
Then I followed up that it actually can pertain to things acquired after one is married.
Then again, I can't your mind. You tell me. I apologize if I misunderstood. I don't really care about southernavenger's prenup that will never happen anyway. I am just passing some time nursing a back injury going stir crazy.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Quoting your last post
Jan 31, 2017, 3:48 PM
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"It's the deal you sign before marriage."
pre·nup·tial
pre
pri/
preposition
previous to; before.
nup·tial
?n?p(t)SH?l/
adjective
1.
relating to marriage or weddings.
noun
1.
a wedding.
And my semi sarcastic post:
"I think that is explained in the "pre" part of that word"
I have found in the last 2 days what I think are very simple sentences, are not.
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All-In [48078]
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Okay...
Jan 31, 2017, 4:01 PM
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So it could pertain to things acquired after the marriage depending on the prenup.
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All-In [39020]
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Prenups often get thrown out for basically no reason.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:02 PM
[ in reply to Should I put a prenup on the table or ] |
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If you want to be safe, don't get married and don't cohabitate.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Just be crazy enough to really cause her and her family
Jan 31, 2017, 3:07 PM
[ in reply to Should I put a prenup on the table or ] |
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massive amounts of problems if she ever tried to pull a little stunt like you're talking about. Regular people aren't willing to mess with crazy for too long.
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All-In [46825]
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Get her hooked on drugs first
Jan 31, 2017, 2:39 PM
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THEN file for divorce.
Take the kids and the dogs and she will pay YOU alimony
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110%er [5508]
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I think it depends on her career
Jan 31, 2017, 2:39 PM
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will she continue dancing after y'all have kids?
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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Strippers makes a lot more htan teachers
Jan 31, 2017, 2:40 PM
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if they don't blow it up their nose.
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All-In [46825]
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Can confirm***
Jan 31, 2017, 2:41 PM
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Legend [17753]
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If you are not even engaged and you are worried about
Jan 31, 2017, 2:41 PM
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alimony, break up now.
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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I'm not worried
Jan 31, 2017, 2:44 PM
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This is purely contextual based on the lunge discussions.
I don't think anyone ever expects to pay alimony, which is why they don't prepare for it.
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All-In [48078]
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Hall of Famer [21258]
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If you have to ask... prolly not with the right girl.***
Jan 31, 2017, 2:41 PM
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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It's like noted social commentator Will Rogers said...
Jan 31, 2017, 2:42 PM
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"A man that has reconciled himself in his willingness to commit murder never has to worry about divorce".
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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is ehs getting nudes on snapchat from clemsonrulez08?***
Jan 31, 2017, 2:42 PM
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All-In [40656]
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Most don't enjoy the vienna
Jan 31, 2017, 2:44 PM
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Neither does she. Shes asked me to stop.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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it's not your money
Jan 31, 2017, 2:43 PM
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~The lunge
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All-In [47841]
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I see that you still don't understand***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:21 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Work together on a prenup regardless.
Jan 31, 2017, 2:49 PM
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If you don't, then 50% of division of marital assets (assets accrued while you're married), and if she wants spousal support she can get it.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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If she wants spousal support she can get it?
Jan 31, 2017, 2:50 PM
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just lol
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Shhh
Jan 31, 2017, 2:51 PM
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his lawyer told him that was normal
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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You're a moron if you don't think it's not normal.
Jan 31, 2017, 2:55 PM
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Any court would've awarded her spousal support.
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All-In [49046]
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Are you in NC?
Jan 31, 2017, 2:59 PM
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that probably makes a difference.
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Yeah, IE thinks he knows everything on this.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:03 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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and you avoided his question***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:05 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Your condescension, previous discussion on it, and the
Jan 31, 2017, 3:08 PM
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fact you believe I made some poor decision.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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As long as you're content with it.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:10 PM
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Not my circus, not my monkeys.
I'm just another ####### on the internets.
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Of course I'm not content with it, but that's not even
Jan 31, 2017, 3:11 PM
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close to the point.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Not that I really wanto get into this
Jan 31, 2017, 3:00 PM
[ in reply to You're a moron if you don't think it's not normal. ] |
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but DID any court award her spousal support?
Did you just say "Well...I make more than her, so ..okay."
Look man, it's your deal, and know you're messed up over it, but it srsly sounds like your lawyer rolled over on this one. You should really post their name so everyone can be warned who not to use.
I know dudes who had a lot more going on than you (kids, cars, boats, houses, lots of stuff) who came out on the other side a lot better.
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Because now you're an expert on NC marital laws? lol***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:03 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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I don't know #### about NC marital laws.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:05 PM
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That said..I'll take that as a no?
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Correct, I did not go to court because I would've wound up
Jan 31, 2017, 3:06 PM
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paying more than I pay now.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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That one post about your lawyer explaining to you about
Jan 31, 2017, 3:11 PM
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fairness, etc. really just raised some red flags to me. Fairness has never been in any discussion I've had with a lawyer, of course my issues have been of the criminal variety.
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Not sure what you're referring to.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:12 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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I dunno, I can't even tell you when that thread took place
Jan 31, 2017, 3:14 PM
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And maybe I'm totally making it up, but I thought I remembered a post talking about your lawyer explaining how what she was getting is fair, etc. It just struck me as odd at the time, if it was in the name of saving you money, yeehaw cowboy, but if it was in the interest of being fair to the ex, no yeehaw, no yeehaw at all.
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Probably mixing some things around in that thread to get to
Jan 31, 2017, 3:18 PM
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that.
Fairness wasn't used in determining the alimony, a combination of formulas were used and then back and forth arguing.
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All-In [49046]
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Family law is different from state to state, often very
Jan 31, 2017, 3:41 PM
[ in reply to I dunno, I can't even tell you when that thread took place ] |
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different.
In some states, Adultery is a complete bar to alimony, in others it's not. Some states consider money paid toward a spouse's debts, others don't. Some states divide property by half almost automatically, others use 50 factors to determine what each spouse should get.
It's a special area of law that most lawyers are smart enough not to dabble in.
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Lot o points [155929]
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I have to imagine that, like house painters, there is an
Jan 31, 2017, 3:48 PM
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extremely high rate of alcoholism amongst divorce lawyers.
I can't imagine every single day spent working with folks with anger, angst, and every other negative emotion turned to 11.
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All-In [49046]
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I have friends who do it...
Jan 31, 2017, 3:52 PM
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and even the most level-headed and calm of them have days when they want to get out immediately.
But I think that's true of most of the lawyers I know that are under 50, honestly.
I guess most of the ones still doing it after 50 are the ones with the right psyche. Otherwise they probably either got out or died from a heart attack.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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A girl I wento high school with only does the cheap
Jan 31, 2017, 3:57 PM
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"let's get it over with" divorces, or at least she used to.
Hers are the typical married 0-5 years, no, or few assets, no kids type stuff.
I think that's about all she does (or did, I haven't talked to her in a while).
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All-In [49046]
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She's probably pretty happy with her life, I'd think.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:57 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Yeah, its kind of like a paperwork assembly line for her***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:59 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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I'm sure it does, I was more or less saying that I'd want
Jan 31, 2017, 3:51 PM
[ in reply to Family law is different from state to state, often very ] |
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a lawyer who was all about me, and keeping every dime I could. If she ended up a homeless heroin addict because of it, so be it.
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All-In [49046]
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I think most people want that...
Jan 31, 2017, 3:54 PM
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and the correlation between people who really hate lawyers and people who got divorced from people that had a good lawyer is probably very high.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Most likely, I can't even imagine how personal that has to
Jan 31, 2017, 3:57 PM
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get in a lot of cases. You might be better off representing the mob than being a divorce lawyer.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Orange Blooded [3924]
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My wife is paying ME child support now
Jan 31, 2017, 4:33 PM
[ in reply to Not that I really wanto get into this ] |
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because she is a stupid biotch that can't keep her head straight and her legs together.
#didIreallytypethatonhere
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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high mf'ing five!!!
Jan 31, 2017, 4:39 PM
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my man!
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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In his defense, me being a moron goes without saying***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:41 PM
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW US ANYMORE.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:45 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81897]
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Lot o points [155929]
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Disagree.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:27 PM
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IMHO, it makes the institution of marriage into something more transactional than it should be. Full admission, I'm old fashioned.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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In the end, once the relationship dissolves, thats all you
Jan 31, 2017, 3:31 PM
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have.
A business agreement.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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So much this***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:32 PM
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Lot o points [155929]
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I'm trying to think of a good analogy, but I can't so this
Jan 31, 2017, 3:36 PM
[ in reply to In the end, once the relationship dissolves, thats all you ] |
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one will have to do....
Let's say my 10 year old wants to go whitewater rafting with me. I think it sounds fun, and say sure. Then I get to the rafting company and they start asking me to sign releases in case my kid gets injured or killed and offering me supplemental life insurance in case any of those events happen.
At that moment, the documents being presented and what they do for me and the rafting company really aren't the point, the question they're raising in my mind is "should we really go rafting in the first place?" If they and I think we need those things, I probably shouldn't be going on that trip in the first place.
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Lot o points [155929]
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also, before 123 starts going "wup-wup-wup",
Jan 31, 2017, 3:37 PM
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I absolutely would take them rafting.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Lot o points [155929]
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look at avenger......
Jan 31, 2017, 3:40 PM
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Some would say he's smart for pondering this question. I say the fact that it's in his head is a warning sign.
I think both sides could make a valid argument, so I'm not saying you're wrong, I just have a different perspective.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Lot o points [155929]
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that's a fair point too.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:41 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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I agree with you, if you're planning for the wrost to happen
Jan 31, 2017, 3:44 PM
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on the rafting trip, why go? I can see you point. #### look at clemsonrulez08. He's engaged and happy as #### about it but he made a comment about getting random nudes on snapchat. There are always red flags, but you still gotta get in the boat if you wanna get down the river.
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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luckily I've not known anyone to die from a divorce***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:45 PM
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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You need to get out more, maybe meet more people.***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:57 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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lol yeah thats a great idea
Jan 31, 2017, 4:00 PM
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b/c people are f'in idiots, wouldn't you agree?
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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Kind of an underground cult, if you will.***
Jan 31, 2017, 4:07 PM
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Lot o points [155929]
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I refuse to let this go un-pointed.***
Jan 31, 2017, 6:28 PM
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Orange Blooded [3148]
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Re: I'm trying to think of a good analogy, but I can't so this
Jan 31, 2017, 3:40 PM
[ in reply to I'm trying to think of a good analogy, but I can't so this ] |
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using that analogy...the rafting company would just be covering their #### in case something rare happened. With a pre-nup, the richer party (usually the man) is just covering his #### in case something pretty common happens.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Justa few months ago, weren't you sleeping in a tent and
Jan 31, 2017, 2:51 PM
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stealing your work desk from teh job you "quit"?
WTH is she going to get?
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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You actually think I was living in a tent?
Jan 31, 2017, 2:55 PM
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Just lutz.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Well, I don't read minds.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:00 PM
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You said you were sleeping in a tent.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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iknowright.gif***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:03 PM
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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You worried she might take your tent?***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:28 PM
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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No, just retirement savings, liquid income, long-term
Jan 31, 2017, 3:29 PM
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sanity, etc.
I'm pretty minimalist and don't ever plan on having a lot of stuff.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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I think it depends on the person.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:34 PM
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At least in SC, I've known people who got divorced that none of that stuff was touched. The couple basically split up what they thought was fair, and walked away from it.
And I've known other dudes who were basically bankrupted by it.
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All-In [47841]
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There is a set of laws that governs divorce, but like
Jan 31, 2017, 3:37 PM
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anything else in life, everything is negotiable. If the parties agree to just walk away, more power to them, lawyers draw up a document and it's done.
It's when people get emotional and they each want to fight tooth and nail over the old REO Speedwagon 8-tracks that things get ugly. Lawyers are more than happy to continue billing you $200/hr over a 50 cent piece of crap.
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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I would kill to keep my REO Speedwagon 8-tracks.
Jan 31, 2017, 3:44 PM
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If it came down to it, I mean.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Sounds like I may know someone that would die from a divorce
Jan 31, 2017, 3:46 PM
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I spoke too soon
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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It's OK.
Jan 31, 2017, 4:00 PM
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I can see that you're just ridin' the storm out. You know, trying to roll with the changes. I mean, I could keep pushin', but maybe it's just time for me to fly.
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Orange Blooded [2053]
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110%er [5508]
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don't marry someone that you'll end having to divorce and
Jan 31, 2017, 2:53 PM
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you won't have to worry about it
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All-In [39020]
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Yeah, just be psychic. Easy!***
Jan 31, 2017, 3:05 PM
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All-In [43728]
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Dude if you are axing about alimony
Jan 31, 2017, 2:54 PM
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you need to go ahead and start posting nood pigs of her pulling it apart like right now.
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Lot o points [155929]
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In the words of Billy Shakespeare, "Many a true word hath
Jan 31, 2017, 3:08 PM
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been spoken in jest."
Translation, the fact this this is crossing your mind, even briefly, is telling you DON'T DO IT.
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Orange Blooded [3148]
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I thought about a pre-nup but ended up not using one
Jan 31, 2017, 3:27 PM
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You have to really dot your i's and cross your t's when writing/negotiating the pre-nup for it to stand up in court. Each party has their own attorney, usually you have to offer to pay the attorney of her choice to represent her. You have to do it well in advance of the wedding, if she can claim you got her to sign it "under duress" then it won't stand up in court. Pre-nups also have no affect on child support, just division of assets and alimony. Most wives (if they're smart) would insist on an infidelity clause and then you might as well not have one.
In the end, I decided that the likelihood of a pre-nup benefitting me wasn't worth all of the lawyer fees.
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All-In [47841]
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Here's the basic gist
Jan 31, 2017, 3:28 PM
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Essentially you are each entitled to half of the family assets (house, cars, cash, investments, and WAGES). Child support is just a straight calculation, which takes into account both of your salaries, and then other expenses for the children such as insurance, day care, etc
If children are involved, after child support is calculated, alimony can be awarded to "even out" the remaining differences between what she is currently bringing in via salary and child support.
Example, with totally made up easy to understand numbers: You bring home $3,000 a month and she brings $1,000. After child support of say $500, you would owe her an additional $500 of alimony per month.
($3,000 your salary + $1,000 her salary)/2 = $2,000 you are each entitled to per month
or in other words
Her share ($1,000 salary +$500 c.s.) = $1,500, so you would owe another $500 in alimony to get her up to the $2,000
This is an oversimplified example.
Also, I really wish I didn't have any experience with this.
EDIT: This is a point of view from SC divorce laws. I know nothing about other states.
Message was edited by: BigDaddy®
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All-In [38925]
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If you worried about someday having to pay alimony
Jan 31, 2017, 5:12 PM
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then marry a woman that would never want to get paid to be gone.
we do exist.
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All-TigerNet [12270]
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just shack up, that way you can pack up if you need to.***
Jan 31, 2017, 5:18 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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#livininsin***
Feb 1, 2017, 8:13 AM
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Oculus Spirit [93668]
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No, you grow a pair and stick it out until she screws up...
Feb 1, 2017, 6:42 AM
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enough for you to get the kids and threaten to make her pay the alimony and child support. All you have to do is shut the helll up and take it like a man. There's always a chance you might out last her biching, overspending and other womanly ways and fall in real love. You know, what people mean when they say, 'I can't live without her?'
It typically takes 12 years without a woman's cooperation but can be done in as little as seven if you both mean it when you say 'Till death do we part.' Having children in the first few years complicated this if you don't.
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