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All-In [42196]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 38272
Joined: 11/30/98
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MY LEGAL BATTLE IS FINALLY OVER!
Jan 12, 2022, 10:25 AM
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It was a long hard-fought battle. I was incarcerated for nearly three days. I lost my home, my bicycle, my pellet smoker that had a ####### pork belly on it at the time, my three dogs, just my bottle of Angel's Envy (they left all the other bourbon), my autographed picture of CJ Spiller flipping off Obed, my lower deck Clemson tickets so now I'm UDP, my wife (they said they needed her for evidence), and all the USB cords out of my truck. I wasn't allowed to go to the Cheez-It bowl and meet Prince Chedward. I love him a lot.
For 72 hours, I waited as my life was torn away piece by piece. I prayed but remembered that I'm a heathen who is going to burn for eternity, according to the good folks on P&R. I now only have $19 in my wallet after buying some Powerball tickets, a chicken biscuit, and a couple of Reese's Cups at the Spinx.
All the while, I begged for justice against the cowardly flag football coach who dared to say all my players should have shown up. I merely threatened him with ending his life on the football field that day and had him trembling in his Vineyard Vines, but somewhere along the way, I was struck with a blunt object. Maybe he hit me with a football. Maybe the ref hit me with a whistle. Maybe I fell from my bourbon-induced stupor and hit my head. Either way, I'm an innocent man deprived of freedom by our corrupt justice system.
I'm a veteran of many Call of Duty conflicts, and I hang my head from the betrayal after my many hours of dedication on my couch listening to little kids tell me over their mics that they ###### my mom.
The judge put me on FOUR monitors. One on each ankle and one on each wrist. He said I had to pay $2,000 a month for each of them! I asked why so many and he said he had read my Tigernet posts and I could go #### myself. What a dark day for our democracy.
I'm an innocent victim of this atrocity, and my treatment isn't justified. Thus, when I can finally pry off these monitors, I'm gonna find that Vineyard Vines little ##### and beat him senseless for the pain he has caused me just because I threatened his life.
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CU Medallion [66085]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24719
Joined: 6/12/14
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For me, this is the worst part
Jan 12, 2022, 10:29 AM
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Losing your autographed picture of CJ Spiller flipping off Obed®
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All-In [42902]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10446
Joined: 3/1/18
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I bet Obed would sign another one if we could find a copy.***
Jan 12, 2022, 10:45 AM
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CU Medallion [66085]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24719
Joined: 6/12/14
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I actually sent him a tmail, this was his reply
Jan 12, 2022, 1:11 PM
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Heisman Winner [135948]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 41648
Joined: 8/26/07
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Obed or CJ?
Jan 12, 2022, 1:15 PM
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Wait? CJ’s on Tnet?
Whoa
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CU Medallion [64837]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22718
Joined: 9/27/04
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Re: Obed or CJ?
Jan 12, 2022, 1:24 PM
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meatHead
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All-In [46825]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30733
Joined: 8/11/15
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110%er [6692]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 6139
Joined: 10/6/21
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Re: MY LEGAL BATTLE IS FINALLY OVER!
Jan 12, 2022, 10:41 AM
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You got railroaded. You should go to the Mange for some thoughts and prayers.
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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The one thing you’ve never lost…
Jan 12, 2022, 1:26 PM
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My respect!
Which you’ve never really had.
But it’s still much much more than chestypuller has ever had.
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Orange Blooded [2999]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 932
Joined: 3/4/21
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Why haven’t any of us published a “Lounge Book of Madlibs”?***
Jan 12, 2022, 9:32 PM
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