Replies: 88
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All-In [46825]
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GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 10:54 AM
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1. Pallet deck
2. Statue of limitations hasn't expired yet so no comment.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 10:55 AM
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1. Married my first wife
2. Gave up IPTAY tickets in the '80s
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CU Medallion [56105]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 10:56 AM
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Statue of limitations
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All-In [40656]
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Give me a few drinks and I'll talk***
Nov 18, 2020, 10:59 AM
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All-In [46825]
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I got some fireball in the cabinet***
Nov 18, 2020, 10:59 AM
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All-In [40656]
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The last time I had fireball was at the Clemson-State game
Nov 18, 2020, 11:04 AM
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in 2019. It was cold as ####. I had a few Millers before the game and brought along two fireball airplane bottles for Red and I before we went into the stadium. I almost vomited when I drank it.
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All-In [46825]
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Great story on the conception of your child***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:05 AM
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All-In [40656]
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You know what
Nov 18, 2020, 11:09 AM
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Red was already pregnant. So they were both for me.
The other one got tossed.
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Heisman Winner [119734]
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All-In [46825]
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Here's one I've told on here before and not illegal
Nov 18, 2020, 11:00 AM
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immoral but not illegal:
Hooked up with a lezbo while her fiancé (also a lezbo) was at work. In their bed.
She was a RL 5 (feminine of the couple) and could squirt across the room.
#notpee
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CU Medallion [66085]
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FBCoach is lying
Nov 18, 2020, 11:05 AM
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it's pee.
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All-In [46825]
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It's not pee if it comes from the balls***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:06 AM
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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Bruh, you are SO wrong. Two things, squirt is pee and
Nov 18, 2020, 11:13 AM
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pee is stored in the balls.
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All-In [40656]
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Oculus Spirit [97734]
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Watersports fan***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:08 AM
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Heisman Winner [135954]
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From a lady gyno I follow on the tweeter
Nov 18, 2020, 11:16 AM
[ in reply to It's pee ] |
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Question: when a female squirts, where does it come from?
Answer: the urethra! Although, it isn't exactly urine that comes out. Scans have shown that the bladder fills with clear liquid (ejaculate) when a female is aroused.
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CU Medallion [66085]
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Female: of course I'm not peeing on you, even though it comes
Nov 18, 2020, 11:23 AM
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out the same hole and it's a totally different liquid than pee that is stored in an unnamed location in the body separated from the pee
Narrator: It, in fact, was pee
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All-In [46825]
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Well it doesn't taste like pee***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:45 AM
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CU Medallion [66085]
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TIL that FBCoach drinks pee
Nov 18, 2020, 11:54 AM
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Heisman Winner [137976]
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All-In [46825]
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I feel like me and you could share the same reddit account***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:51 PM
[ in reply to It's pee ] |
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CU Medallion [64837]
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If yall shared a handle, how would you talk back and forth
Nov 18, 2020, 1:00 PM
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on r/jobuds?
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Oculus Spirit [97734]
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Drove after 14 beers. Prolly the winner.***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:02 AM
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Lot o points [163012]
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My old roommate did that
Nov 18, 2020, 11:11 AM
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and it was my car. I had 12 and was gone.
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Oculus Spirit [97734]
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Well, as you can imagine it didn't end well.
Nov 18, 2020, 11:18 AM
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Luckily the car was the only thing hurt. Took a guy home, dropped him off without incident. Driving back to the apartment I blacked out going into a curve. Woke when the car hit something. Backed up, drove back to the apartment, then home.
Next day went back to where I hit something. It was a parked car. There were two doughnut marks in the curve, and evidently I spun out and did several doughnuts before hitting the car.
Went and knocked on the door. Apologized. Guy agreed not to call the cops. I wrote him a $2.5K check for damages to his car (and a bush), and worked it off in a sweatshop dry cleaners all summer at $4.25/hr.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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You blacked out after 14 beers?***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:51 AM
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All-In [46825]
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That's your body trying not to die on Ol' Milwaukie***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:56 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97734]
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Yea, 14 beers in a few hours, and they were not light beer
Nov 18, 2020, 12:25 PM
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I've drunk 36 Natty lights in a 21 hour period before, also blacked out, but that was because I started drinking Zima I think, possibly.
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Oculus Spirit [83129]
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Can’t narrow it down to just one thing that’s worse than all the others.
Nov 18, 2020, 11:04 AM
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I’m 7spots.
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Lot o points [155944]
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Used a comparative when I wanted a superlative.
Nov 18, 2020, 11:10 AM
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Worse =/= Worst
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Guy threw a quarter at my car and chipped the paint
Nov 18, 2020, 11:11 AM
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Long story short, I ended up questioned by detectives and I still have his PS3.
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All-In [34486]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 11:16 AM
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1) Got asked to leave my first job out of college due to my rowdy redneck behavior on the company trip to the Caribbean. I've told this story no fewer than half a dozen times in the junge.
2) Also madesomesex on a married woman, but she and her husband were separated. They got back together. I was like 22 and she was like almost 40. Also. She lived in a single-wide. Nice.
3) Raw-dogged a chick who was known at the time for having effed AT LEAST 100 people, all who were as equally as nasty as me
4) Effed one of my good friend's girls. But he did it to me first. We laugh about it today.
5) Almost fought my boss in an adderall-fueld rage, got asked to leave never went back except to get my desk.
6) Joined the fire department, started going to church and almost married a Christian school teacher. I panicked and G T F O.
7) Now I'm back where I started, I just have a better job and better place to live.
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CU Medallion [66085]
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In step 5 you really glossed over the dope
Nov 18, 2020, 11:27 AM
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and hanging out in a tent
I'm sure Tharealdonjuan would like the details here
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Lot o points [155944]
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All-In [34486]
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A guy who keeps his 1099 employees in the building
Nov 18, 2020, 1:01 PM
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and doesn't provide benefits. Basically a wannabe startup.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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All-In [34486]
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Nope. Web app development and digital marketing
Nov 18, 2020, 1:06 PM
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He was paying me like 70k there are the end, which is how I justified staying for almost 4 years in my mid 20s. But 70k with no benefits and living in Charleston doesn't get you very far.
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CU Medallion [66085]
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How do y'all not remember this ?
Nov 18, 2020, 1:24 PM
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ol' boy locked his boss out of the web applications by not turning over the passwords.
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All-In [46825]
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Didn't he also #### on his boss's desk and spiral
Nov 18, 2020, 1:25 PM
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out of control for a little while. Living in a tent in the yard. Then going off on people on Tnet until Crump banned him?
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All-In [34486]
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Only 1 out of these 3 are true
Nov 18, 2020, 1:27 PM
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CU Medallion [66085]
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He didn't live in a tent
Nov 1, 2023, 8:55 AM
[ in reply to Didn't he also #### on his boss's desk and spiral ] |
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just hung out in it. I believe he does claim a loss of control in his life.
Ol' boy was just trying to troll the boss, he didn't #### on the desk
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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Heisman Winner [137976]
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Awfully bold of you to assume I've peaked.***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:18 AM
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CU Medallion [66085]
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Nope
Nov 18, 2020, 11:18 AM
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.
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Oculus Spirit [83129]
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Was using GF in HS mother’s car. Condom was stuck on
Nov 18, 2020, 11:42 AM
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outside of car door when her mother used the next day.
I got’s the super glue sperm.
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Hall of Famer [21940]
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hooked up with my pee wee fbcooch's
Nov 18, 2020, 11:56 AM
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wife. I was 17 at the time, she was mid 30s? she was real hawt, and had some nice fake bewbies. we were both pretty intoxicated (obviously). first milf
he almost walked in on it, but didn't "catch" us. it was dramatic
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All-In [46825]
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Butt did you finish?***
Nov 18, 2020, 11:57 AM
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Hall of Famer [21940]
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3 times***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:07 PM
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All-In [46825]
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To have a young back again***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:12 PM
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Lot o points [155944]
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All-In [46825]
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Were you a PeeWee FBcouch?***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:29 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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I'm a terrible person.
Nov 18, 2020, 11:57 AM
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So it must have been something I've been fined, arrested, or warned about from those sworn to protect and serve:
Drinking a beer in my front yard. Driving my golf cart after dark. Dropping people off my boat onto a beach. Drinking a beer in a bar at 20 years, 11 months and 21 days old. Paid the $55 fine with $1 bills, and was threatened with contempt. Using my boat with an expired fire extinguisher. I have a lifetime SLED record to prove it. Was told I never paid a fine for speeding 65/55, had to pay it again, with penalties.
I'm sure there is a litany of terrible thigs I've done to others socially; like I said...I'm a terrible person.
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Oculus Spirit [79260]
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TU'd a FBcoach poast
Nov 18, 2020, 12:29 PM
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Also went to the P&R on porpoise
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Lot o points [155944]
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One time, I went into TAC, but I wasn't an elite.
Nov 18, 2020, 12:49 PM
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I just sat there and eavesdropped.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Back in "the day" i would go to TAC during FB games
Nov 18, 2020, 12:52 PM
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when we weren't televised.
This was post 2002 Tommy Bowden era stuff.
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 12:35 PM
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When I was in 8th grade there was a girl in my science class that had 1 leg shorter than the other (like a foot shorter - no pun intended). As I result (I guess) she didn't shower much and always stunk. I has to sit in the front of the class (because class clown) and she would always walk in last, walk past me, and smile real big. One day I said to her (loudly) "I wish you would just drop dead". That weekend, she did. I felt bad about that.
About the same age, I accidently set a fire in a big field that spread really fast near a neighborhood. MANY, MANY fire trucks showed up and battled that all day.
When I was 17 I think, I was upset about getting shorted some hours on my paycheck, threw back several kamikazes, went in drunk, and cussed out the payroll department. I got sent home (but not fired!!)
Hooked up with my gf's best friend jr year in HS because I really didn't want to go to the prom. It was the week before. GF was pissed.
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All-In [46825]
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I also set fire to a few things growing up
Nov 18, 2020, 12:38 PM
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while my dad was like second in command of the local fire department.
Like whole fields and woods almost caught 3-4 houses on fire.
That was fun.
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CU Medallion [60043]
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My dads bud that we sat with for years and years
Nov 18, 2020, 12:41 PM
[ in reply to Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done ] |
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at Clemson, on a Sunday morning he accidentally set a brush fire on a slightly windy day. The woods are literally on fire. His wife calls the fire department and like Micallen story multiple trucks show up.
My dads bud put on his church clothes and when the fire truck came, they were asking him how it happened. He said he had no idea as he had been at Church, but that a bunch of boys had been back there messing around and camping and that's probably what happened.
They never ever questioned him on the story and he now has a good one to tell.
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Oculus Spirit [79260]
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CU Medallion [60043]
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during a multiple day bender
Nov 18, 2020, 12:46 PM
[ in reply to Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done ] |
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we threw a coffee table through the door of our frat house. The door and frame was destroyed. We had to close it up for the night, so we used some plastic. The landlord came and we told him that some guys came into the house, busted down the door. That dolt calls the cops, so here we are talking to the cops.
I told the cop I knew what one of the guys looked like, so they took the description. Totally fake and had no one in mind.
Few hours later, the cops come back and had picked up a guy for the "crime". They show me his mug shot and ask me if that was him. He was caught with some drugs on him too. I said, "you know, I cant really tell". Dude went to jail.
So that poor dude was just waltzing around town with some weed in his pocket, matching my description and goes to jail for a night or two. I felt really really bad for a long time.
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Lot o points [155944]
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You probably should tag him.
Nov 18, 2020, 12:54 PM
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Lakebum1®
I'm guessing this was the final straw on his opinion of cops.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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About the age of 14 I dropped my best friend George K. for
Nov 18, 2020, 12:46 PM
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some new best friends. Totally ghosted him, but dude was a nerd, and I wasn't about that life anymore.
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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I think I saw that episode on the Goldbergs***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:47 PM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Dude was from Vermont, and his fat gross mom had a raging
Nov 18, 2020, 12:48 PM
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temper. He loved maple syrup and would alway say "cut it out!" in a nasally voice if he didn't like what you were doing.
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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Also (this year) I was driving home from work,
Nov 18, 2020, 12:52 PM
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I saw a house that may have been on fire. Wasn't sure. I tried to look back at it to see (was going 70). I also checked to see if the cars behind me were slowing down or stopping. They weren't. So I concluded that maybe I was seeing things.
It bothered me all night. The next day, when I went back to work, my heart SUNK when I looked over and said house was gutted. All I could think about was - what if someone died, and I didn't stop to try to help. Later I was talking to a co-worker that went past it too, a little later than I did. He knows that 1 dude lives there, and said he was outside with the 1st firetruck, so he was sure no one died.
I'm starting to think I'm a ######.
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Oculus Spirit [79260]
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You are a horrible human being***
Nov 18, 2020, 12:53 PM
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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It's true.***
Mar 31, 2009, 11:17 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Just remember, no good deed goes unpunished
Nov 18, 2020, 1:14 PM
[ in reply to Also (this year) I was driving home from work, ] |
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The most likely scenario is that you stop to render aid, and the guy ends up blaming you for torching his house because he's trying to run an insurance scam. $100k in lawyer fees later, you'll never want to help anybody again.
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All-In [31907]
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*trying to decide if you typed "statue" on purpose****
Nov 18, 2020, 12:55 PM
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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Got fired from my first 2 jobs
Nov 18, 2020, 12:57 PM
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First one was for kicking a hole in the drive thru wall.
Second one was for not showing up to work for several days, because I was at Murder beach for spring break and was 7Spots and didn't care.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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I nutted in a hot tub at a hotel on Hilton Head Island
Nov 18, 2020, 1:12 PM
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when I was like 12. Later on there were a whole group of girls in there. To this day I am nervous that one, or all of them raised my bastart sons (that would be about 25 yrs old).
In 3rd Grade school, I set a sharpened wooden pencil in a fat girls chair and when she sat down, it went into her butt and broke off. She had to go to Urgent Care. Nobody ever knew I did it. She was really nice. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it.
In middle school, we used to kneel behind someone, while another person shoved them and high/lowed them. Just a stupid way to "punk" someone. At a night-time football game, my buddy crouched down behind this kid that we knew who was standing on a hill, and I ran up and shoved him. My buddy stood up and bucked this dude WAY up in the air. We ran off laughing. Turns out they had to bring in an ambulance and haul the kid off. He had some sort of surgery or something and it totally scrambled his guts. Nobody ever figured out who did it.
Those aren't the worst, but it should be enough to satiate your appetite for cringy stories.
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All-In [46825]
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Re: I nutted in a hot tub at a hotel on Hilton Head Island
Nov 18, 2020, 1:16 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Maybe if you have another son, ours can be friends
Nov 18, 2020, 1:19 PM
[ in reply to I nutted in a hot tub at a hotel on Hilton Head Island ] |
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I like the cut of your jib. Little bit of a mean streak coupled with the balls to put a plan into action. That's what this country needs more of.
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All-In [42906]
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Orange Blooded [2203]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 1:20 PM
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Drive home for a big party on a 2 lane road. All traffic was stopped. Someone had flipped a maverick off the road and they were bring him or her out with a sheet over them. That was the last thing I remember and woke up in my parents driveway with my foot on the break and car still running. That did not do it tho. Went to another party drinking some beers and had 5 boiler makers and 5 shots of moonshine. That did it. Either time I have no idea how I made it home.
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Orange Blooded [2203]
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Re: GITT with the worse thing you've ever done
Nov 18, 2020, 1:21 PM
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Thank God I did not kill someone.
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All-In [42906]
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Not worst, but maybe worst I'll cop to here
Nov 18, 2020, 1:20 PM
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Junior year probably - walking back from Death Valley after first quarter or so (we sucked in the 90s), we walked past a tailgate with big spread and dude asleep in a chair with baby on his chest.
We opened a cooler to sneak a beer and it was stuffed with coronas and ice and a nice little baggie of lime wedges.
Hoisted entire cooler and lived like kings.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Joined: 9/27/04
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After the 1st paragraph, I had to make sure it wasn't a CS02
Nov 18, 2020, 4:19 PM
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post. That was about to get REAL bad.
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All-In [40936]
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Probably some of the times I went to prison
Nov 18, 2020, 1:23 PM
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come to think of it some of the things I didn't get caught for were worse.
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All-In [34486]
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I had a beer with the old biker guy down the street
Nov 18, 2020, 1:32 PM
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And he let me touch his old lady's tiddy
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All-In [46825]
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Had a older man let his woman blow me
Nov 18, 2020, 1:39 PM
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in a hotel room at a facebook coach's clinic one time in Greenville. They were probably in their late 30's. I was a young whippersnapper just starting out.
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CU Medallion [60234]
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lived in Columbia for several years***
Nov 18, 2020, 1:34 PM
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Orange Blooded [2203]
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Re: lived in Columbia for several years***
Nov 18, 2020, 1:37 PM
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That is right up there for sure.
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All-In [42906]
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Lot o points [163012]
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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My stepsister slept really really hard, like you could not
Nov 18, 2020, 3:45 PM
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wake her up in the morning no matter what you did.
But I didn't do anything about it. You guys are terrible people.
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CU Medallion [54758]
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Joined: 10/1/03
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Not sure about worst, but another poast reminded me that I
Nov 18, 2020, 4:28 PM
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F'd a college GF in her older brother's bed, with a condom she found in his drawer
forgot to throw away the pieces of the wrapper
we were staying at her brother's that night, too. He came back and found the 'trash', never addressed it.
also, statue of limitations, nice.
NICE.
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