Replies: 28
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Can I tell y'all about how I did a roomate really dirty?
Sep 23, 2021, 7:13 AM
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This is a safe space, right?
Freshman year, I roomed with a dude from my hometown. We barely knew each other in HS, but had mutual friends that "set us up". We had 180* different personalities and struggled to get along. He was an only child and extremely uptight. I think he came from a military family, but don't really remember or care.
We both had the hots for the same girl that lived a few floors below us.
He had some sort of illness (I can't remember what it was) and Redfern prescribed him with some suppositories. He didn't know how to "take" them, and neither did I, but I saw this as a great opportunity to screw with him. I told him to coat them with lotion, and push it in with his finger. He asked how far, and I said to use his pointer AND middle finger and go until you bottom out. Also told him that he needed to hold it in there until it dissolved or it would naturally push back out.
He asked me to leave the dorm room so he could have some privacy, so I stepped outside the door. Girl that we both liked happened to be passing by, and I told her she should go say "hey" to roommate because he was having a rough day. She opened the door and found him laying on his bed with half his fist in his stinkeye. Shortly there after I took her on a few dates and my roommate barely talked to me for the rest of the year.
/csb
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All-In [34486]
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You're a real pain in the
Sep 23, 2021, 7:31 AM
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ass, you know that?
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Heisman Winner [105886]
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And that, my friends, is
Sep 23, 2021, 7:39 AM
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How I Met Your Mother.
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All-In [42416]
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Re: Can I tell y'all about how I did a roomate really dirty?
Sep 23, 2021, 7:44 AM
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Orange Blooded [2824]
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I’m glad you god a couple dates
Sep 23, 2021, 8:00 AM
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I suppos that’s a happy ending
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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Re: Can I tell y'all about how I did a roomate really dirty?
Sep 23, 2021, 8:09 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97902]
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Could have just put Nair in his shampoo bottle like a normal
Sep 23, 2021, 8:15 AM
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bad roommate.
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All-In [46905]
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I'm confused. Is that not how to insert a suppository?***
Sep 23, 2021, 8:23 AM
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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Re: I'm confused. Is that not how to insert a suppository?***
Sep 23, 2021, 8:26 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97902]
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Re: I'm confused. Is that not how to insert a suppository?***
Sep 23, 2021, 8:33 AM
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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That's a big hamster, too big for a string
Sep 23, 2021, 8:35 AM
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prolly needs a leash
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Oculus Spirit [97902]
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Heisman Winner [138332]
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And?
Sep 23, 2021, 8:44 AM
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Did you put your pointer and middle finger in her stinker?
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CU Medallion [64837]
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No. I think we had a few nice Harcombe dinner/movie dates
Sep 23, 2021, 10:09 AM
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and that's about it.
Way easier to keep greasing my weasel in my HS girlfriend.
SarahAdidas
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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Did SarahAdidas go to Clemson?***
Sep 23, 2021, 10:17 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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No, she's a coot alumn.
Sep 23, 2021, 10:39 AM
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This was pre "bridge program", so she got deferred acceptance, took that as a slap to the face, and went to Carolina. She was in clemson nearly every weekend though and pulls for them big time - she hates the coots more than most. her parents were big coot fans, plus I wanted to be free to spread my seed all over campus (which I didn't do).
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All-In [43222]
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CU Medallion [64837]
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that dang meal plan, homie.
Sep 23, 2021, 10:40 AM
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I had no money, and even less "game".
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Oculus Spirit [79304]
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"had the hots for a girl that lived a few of floors below"
Sep 23, 2021, 8:56 AM
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where did you stay that was coed?
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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Reddit copypasta?***
Sep 23, 2021, 8:59 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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That's pure Adidas right there.***
Sep 23, 2021, 9:45 AM
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All-In [42416]
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Oculus Spirit [79304]
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I stayed in Byrnes, it was all sausage
Sep 23, 2021, 9:07 AM
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when were you there?
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Oculus Spirit [85876]
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McLovin stayed in Thornhill Village freshman year 2001
Sep 23, 2021, 9:29 AM
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There were 4 schwimmers next door to us. The closest action we got was my one roommate pantsed our other roommate in front of one of the female schwimmers.
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All-In [42416]
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Heisman Winner [105886]
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CU Medallion [64837]
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If your old roomate sucked, then I wouldn't even bother
Sep 23, 2021, 10:09 AM
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bringing a chick up there. Sounds like you had all you needed.
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All-In [29954]
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Re: Can I tell y'all about how I did a roomate really dirty?
Sep 23, 2021, 10:25 AM
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Replies: 28
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