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Ring of Honor [23075]
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TigerNet Elite [73555]
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 8:48 AM
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"A woman goes to buy a parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks, 'Why is the last one so cheap?' and the shopkeeper replies, 'Because he used to live in a brothel.' The woman — loving a good bargain — hands over $15."
"When she gets home, the parrot says: 'F*ck me, a new brothel!' The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home, the parrot says: 'F*ck me, two new prozzies!' The girls laugh, too.
When the dad gets home, the parrot says: 'F*ck me, Pete. Haven't seen you in 2 weeks!'"
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Heisman Winner [78787]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 8:58 AM
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I knew what was coming and still laughed
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Ring of Honor [23075]
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Dynasty Maker [3448]
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 9:06 AM
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When Spring arrived, I got so excited I wet my plants! :0) Happy Firday!
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Ultimate Tiger [34234]
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Razors will never be obsolete. They are cutting edge technology.
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May 16, 2025, 9:22 AM
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Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn't come with a driver. I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it.
I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job."
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Ultimate Tiger [38600]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Razors will never be obsolete. They are cutting edge technology.
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May 16, 2025, 10:24 AM
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Nice BigAl31®!!
Always a laugh!!
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Heisman Winner [78787]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
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Joined: 1998
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Ultimate Tiger [34237]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2014
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 9:51 AM
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Two slices of bread got married.
The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
The invention of the shovel was
groundbreaking but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [101667]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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lol, and Happy Friday.***
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May 16, 2025, 10:01 AM
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Ultimate Tiger [38600]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 10:14 AM
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A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said…”Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? you look terrible.”
“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”
Bartender: “what about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
Pirate: “well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
Bartender: “well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
Pirate: “well we were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got in a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really!”
Bartender: “what about the eye patch?”
Pirate: “oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shat in my eye.”
Bartender: “you’re kidding, you lost an eye just from bird shat?”
Pirate: “well, it was my first day with the hook.”
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CU Medallion [18237]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2016
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Re: Fri-Yay! 'Dad-ish Jokes...ish'!
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May 16, 2025, 6:05 PM
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3 men in their 70s were having breakfast at the local diner and started talking about what bothers them about getting older. The first man said I wish didn't get up throughout the night and go dribble pee never seeming to finish.
The 2nd man said, I know that feeling but I wish I could take big dump in the morning its like a pellet here and pellet there and I never feel like I'm done.
The 3rd man said every morning at 7:30 I go pee like a down pour always emptying my bladder and at 7:35 I take a dump like Mount St. Helen is erupting.
The other 2 say what are you complaining about and #3 says I don't get up until 9:00.
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50
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