Heisman Winner [105590]

TigerPulse: 100%

Posts: 65204

Joined: 12/2/02

Fellow Youth Sports Coaches, Parents, etc, GITT and tell me

Mar 2, 2022, 9:53 AM

how I should have handled this situation.

A little background:
Greenr coaches his Church's 8-9 Biddy Basketball team (actually, one of our two 8-9 teams, we got alot of kids). I've been coaching this league for 3 years, I think, so this aint my first rodeo. The rules of this league are simple, try to dribble, full height goals, defense has to be inside 3-point line, four five minute quarters, score RESETS every quarter. In this league, there is no ACTUAL winner, but the kids all keep score and know who wins. Greenr's team has not lost in 2 years. We lost most of the ballers from last year and just reloaded with MOSTLY 8 year olds. We only have 3 nine year olds, and one of them is pretty bad, she cannot shoot high enough to get it to the rim. We have fun though, get equal play time, and run like hell out there.

Let's set the scene:
Last Friday, we are playing a local Baptist church, one of the larger churches in the area. All 9 of my kids are there, so we are going to be rotating kids through like crazy, almost two different teams in each quarter. Only one referee is there and he MAY be 16. The other one never showed up.

First quarter starts and I have a kid in there who is a great ball-handler but he is BAD undersized so when he gets tired, he cannot hit shots. They scored first though and then he starts hot, couple steals with a fastbreak layup and another missed hard foul on him.

One of my kids, let's call him John, is playing for the first time in his life. John has two sisters, one plays ball and the other dances. John is uncoordinated, tiny, goofy, but hustles. I realized he wont score many points, if any, this year, but he can play hellla defense around the perimeter. Also, sometimes John gets kangfused and does the wrong thing, but it's OK, they almost all do SOMETHING wrong during the game. Well, we miss a shot and the other team gets the rebound and attempts to bring it back down the court. John, in his excitement, tries to steal the ball from them WELL before he gets inside the 3 line. The ref ignores it because he realizes it and gets into position. No biggie. Same thing happens again a little later and I can hear the parents for the other church, let's call them West End Baptist, yelling and I see one mama, with an infant in arms, jump up and start yelling. Well, it gets a little chaotic, ref is doing nothing, and JOHN has made this mistake twice. Maybe he did it a third time, but I kept yelling to him to get back into the 3 line. He would hear, then do it. No biggie. West End's kids don't even dribble. They are terrible. They just pass and run with the ball. I ain't complaining. Quarter is over and JOHN and 3 others come out. I put my other kids in and we keep dominating. Halftime comes and it is 10-2 but should be much worse.

Greenr talks to the kids at halftime and the ref asks me to remind the kids to stay in the 3-line, so I do. I specifically grab John and one of my girls to remind them, although she wasn't doing it but I didn't want to call John out specifically. Halftime is almost over and I hear a commotion to my side. I look over at the other teams bench and one of their coaches is LOUDLY complaining about us "breaking" this rule. Then a mom, the same one jumping around with an infant in hand comes up to me and asks me if I have ever heard the rules for this league.

The exchange went something like this:
Lady: Have you ever heard the rules of this league? You know, we are supposed to stay inside the 3 point line.
Greenr: Yes ma'am. I've addressed it with the kids.
Lady: Seems to me that you don't want to teach the kids the rules. All the other teams haven't had a problem with this.
Greenr: We are learning the rules, this is his first time playing basketball and we are working on it.
Lady: Obviously that is your kid and you don't want to teach your own kid how to follow rules. We teach our kids how to follow rules.
Greenr: This is an 8-9 year old league basketball, they are learning to play, and no that is not my kid.
Lady: I guess that is your kid then.
Greenr: Sweetie, that is not my kid and that doesn't matter. Thank you for your coaching advice.
Lady: (mad at me for calling her sweetie) You don't talk to me that way. We are respectful and follow the rules and obviously you don't do those things.

Somehow the conversation ended. I don't remember, but I was running HOT AS HELL at this time. Wife was texting me wondering what TF was going on, she could see the lady fussing at me but she couldn't tell from my body language what was going on. Apparently I handled it well from that perspective.

Second half, we keep dominating to the point where I pull most of my good players in the 4th. We win 16-2. It could have been much worse. We never played defense outside the 3-line again.

End of game, Wife comes up to me asking WTFF happened and I tell her I'll explain later, I gotta get TF out of this place. She walks away and up to me walks a fatass redneck. Tells me he needs to talk to me about something.

Conversation goes a little like this...

Fatty: (whispering) If you ever talk down and disrespect a woman again, I'm going to have to beat your hiney. (yes, he used the word hiney).
Greenr: Sir, I didn't disrespect her, but I shouldn't have used the word Sweetie talking to her.
Fatty: You shouldn't have and you should learn to talk to women. You were talking down to her and blah blah blah blah blah. (At this time I am so hot and contemplating the consequences for fighting fat redneck in a church gym that I missed some of what he said)
Greenr: Sir, this is an 8-9 year old basketball league, they don't even keep the score. But that lady questioned my coaching and my parenting and I took offense to that.
Fatty: Parenting? She doesn't even know you have kids or which kid, how can she question your parenting?
Greenr: EXACTLY, but she assumed the kid ya'll are mad about was my kid, then questioned my parenting.
Fatty: How can she question your parenting if she doesn't know which kid is yours (this was a terrible argument, btw). And you were talking down to her and you shouldn't do that and you should teach the kids the rules, etc......
Greenr: Sir, you are being a HELLUVA lot more condescending than I was to her..
Fatty: (Cuts me off because I used HELL in a church gym) What did you say? We are in a gym. (He may have levied another threat at this time, it all runs together).

Conversation over...Greenr goes to leave and the lady, who it is now apparent is married to fatty, is parked next to me. I kept a smug grin on my face the whole time. Then I have to explain to wife and daughter what was happening.

Anyways, I am sure you guys have run into situations like this. It ruined my weekend though because I bounced between regretting saying anything to them at all and regretted not dropping that fat motherfucker on the gym floor in front of everyone.

How would you handle this situation?

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down

thumb_up

tl:dr 6 year old baseball, mom tries to explain everything I was doing wrong then got lippy. I handed her (literally) the shirt off my back and walked away.

Trying to teach 6 year olds how to play baseball in that weird-ass modified coach pitch. To set the expectations - this is the level we're playing - coach gets 3 pitches, if they can't hit it (bad pitches or swinging misses, doesn't matter), they get to hit off the tee. i9 Sports, for those who haven't played with them, sessions are once per week, 30 minutes practice, 60 minutes for a game. No, you're not allowed to organize off-schedule practices. The group does keep score, tho, part of their philosophy is that you have to teach kids what it's like to lose and how to "lose" correctly.

My philosophy at that age was always "every kid plays and we rotate positions so they can learn at all positions." Practices were always hectic because it's 6 year olds and, let's face it, baseball is a lot of standing around and waiting. It's boring for kids that age.

We lost our first couple games. After one practice/game session, I had a mom, who clearly thought her son was going to grow up to be the next A-Roid, try to explain everything I was doing wrong and how I should get the kids under control if we have any chance to win. And then she started into all the drills that Junior does on his 6-year-old travel team (that practices 2-3 times per week).

I calmly explained that I was a volunteer, as was the other coach that was out there with me. We were doing the best we can and, unlike the Bandits' coach, we were not i9 employees.

"Well, why did you volunteer if you clearly don't know how to run this team?"

Excuse me? At that point I took off the bright red COACH shirt that i9 had given to me (sweaty from herding 6 year olds for an hour and a half) and handed it to her.

"Clearly then, you should be wearing this."

And I walked away shirtless. Craig, who runs the local i9 franchise, sees me walking away, fuming and sees the shirt on the ground where she dropped it, asked what happened. I explained. Admitted I handled it poorly, but also that I didn't volunteer to put up with that bullshit (which he agreed). He gave me the "don't do that again" and said he'd talk to her.

I gathered my things and my 6-year-old and, as I walked off to the car, I could hear Craig reminding her of the Parent's Pledge to not do that ####, that I was a good coach and had been volunteering with i9 across multiple sports for 2+ years and that she needed to check herself (that made me feel better).

I never heard from her again that season.

Message was edited by: jroberts®

Fellow Youth Sports Coaches, Parents, etc, GITT and tell me

Well, that is a WALLOFTEXT, enjoy the TLDR

Now this I can handle.

It slipped out. I use that all the time with my 10-year old

I think he was talking about your wife's teeets***

Ohh, those are on OnlyFans. Gonna cost ya though.***

Link?***

I love you Greenr

Yeah, I started typing listening in on a meeting and didn't

Re: Fellow Youth Sports Coaches, Parents, etc, GITT and tell me

I didn't know

I wasnt the one mad, the other coach was mad

Super Autistic kids? No wonder he complained.

Actually none of that

Re: Got any guns?

I do not carry, especially at a Youth Basketball Game

You don't need to go down the road of carrying guns at youth

You have to get in front of the situation with people like

Racism

Well, there is another POTENTIAL layer to this

My son had a mixed kid on his tball team

There’s only one proper reply to this

I would not deal with a stranger telling me how to parent

You should go to martial arts tournaments where parents

Wat about the bawlz?

This was Chuck Norris' tournament, so yes.

I almost got in a fight with...

Ooof, there is a special place in helll for that guy.***

Re: Just remember

You missed a chance to sneak a quick kiss when he started

Dont ever talk to my wife like that again, got it?***

OK, Sweetie.***

Well now I want to punch him even worse. This did not help

You should have handled it by not playing

Imma have to go with the famous Buck Showalter line here.

"It's not my job to stop me"***

reason 1 of 9,999 that I don't coach

Coached youth sports for over a decade.

Not sure how you could have handled it any better.....

She confronted the 16 year old ref, their coach, then me.

If their coach didn't tell her to....

Their coach was a lady and possibly her sister, both were

It sounds like the church may need to be burned down now....

Seems like you handled it the best way possible.

I am udefeated as as youth coach

Honestly, there is a special place in heaven for people who

Also, if I'm stupid enough to run my mouth like that at a

Re: Fellow Youth Sports Coaches, Parents, etc, GITT and tell me

Final game is Friday against another team and they

Thoughts

Not Upward. Our 13-18 year old girls won the championship

Re: Not Upward. Our 13-18 year old girls won the championship

Re: Fellow Youth Sports Coaches, Parents, etc, GITT and tell me

I can provide some insight, stories, jokes, and a free wall

Re: I can provide some insight, stories, jokes, and a free wall

Have we all overlooked the obvious?

Imma be honest. I felt bad for those kids on that team.

I thought that was a given...is this amateur hour?***

Dude, I have a HARD and SOLID rule

What if the mom has really veiny milk tiddies?***

MAULDINT BE LIKE

What's your game day rule about meat-ups at....

I'd say you handled it pretty well, but probably engaged

The only time I had anything like this was coaching i9

I like the Teaching Kids to Lose Properly lesson. My son

Yeah. I've borrowed Dabo's "the fun is in the winning"

A SIX YEAR OLD baseball travel team?

Second response - you handled it well

TL:DR...Sumbody shoulda beat sumbody up.

TigerBoard POTD