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Replies: 8
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Clemson Icon [24938]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
Posts: 10067
Joined: 2014
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'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:07 AM
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I have gotten out of bed 365 days a year for well over 60 years now. That's over 20000 sit-ups and not a single ab to show for it! 
I'm at the age where the next day my body whispers to me, "Don't do that again!"
A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.
The judge peers down at her and asks, "First offender?"
She replies, "Nope...first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender!"
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping through the channels.
She asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust." And that's how the fight started!
Have a great day, T-Net...and celebrate your weekend in accordance with your faith. Go Tigers!
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TigerNet Elite [76951]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:09 AM
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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old as$?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
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110%er [3789]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:18 AM
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What is a math teacher's favorite sport? Figure skating! :0) Good Friday, everyone!
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National Champion [7398]
TigerPulse: 100%
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My 401(k) has adopted the pronouns was/were.
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:18 AM
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Don't make cents to me.
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Ultimate Tiger [36423]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14710
Joined: 2014
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:23 AM
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I accidentally drank holy water with my laxative.
I’m about to start a religious movement.
l identify as 'clumsy', my pronouns are oops/ouch/oh no.
Happy Solid Orange Good Friday Tigers!
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Ultimate Tiger [35993]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 8:30 AM
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Dynasty Maker [3237]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 10:07 AM
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I’ll try to shorten this one up
A carpetbagger came down to do some duck hunting on the Waccamaw River and needed a good dog He asked his host what he should look for and the host decided to have a little fun. “When you’re checking out the dog, make sure to lift his tail and look at his arsewhole. If it’s too big, when he jumps out the blind, he’ll fill up with water and sink.”
Well, he finds him a great looking black lab, and after he’s run through his paces, he asked if he can check one more thing. He lifts up his tail and says “Aha! You were trying to fool me. His fannyholes too big and he’ll sink when he jumps in the water”
The Owner reaches under his dog, grabs him by the balls and gives him three quick jerks and says “Check him now. I had him set for quail”
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [103842]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26526
Joined: 2006
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lol***
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Apr 18, 2025, 11:22 AM
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Game Changer [1684]
TigerPulse: 92%
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Re: 'Dad Joke' Friday follies...
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Apr 18, 2025, 2:09 PM
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I found a 20 dollar bill in the parking and I thought What Would Jesus Do? I turned it into wine!
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