On a cold and blue Chapel Hill
morn
Another whiny little child is
born.
He's a Tar Heeeeel
And his daddy cries.

'Cause if there's one thing this
world don't need
It's another wine and cheese
mouth to feed.
He's a Tar Heeeel.

People don't you understand?
A child needs a helping hand
or he's gonna be a whiny young
fan some day.
People of the ACC, are we too
blind to see?
Or will we be like referees and
look the other way?
When the brie flies.


So he starts to go to games
at night
And he learns how to cheat and
he learns how to cry
He's a Tar Heel.

Then one day in grand delusion
it gets washed away.
He meets a team that plays re-
al hard and without the refs, he don't
get farrrrrr.
And his daddy cries.

So the press gathers 'round a
wimpering young man,
face down in his seat with a hanky
in his hand
He's a Tar Heeel.