Replies: 13
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Heisman Winner [119720]
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Vaseline
Mar 6, 2015, 8:15 AM
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Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites Joe over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.'
'In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes, in the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too. Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big ######, and Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still....Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouted. "I'll do the dishes!!"
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Heisman Winner [135612]
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Why would Joe buy a used motorcycle?
Mar 6, 2015, 8:37 AM
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Considering how much money he makes as a plumber, I mean?
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CU Medallion [66083]
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Joe lives in NY, buying a motorcycle to ride only 3 months
Mar 6, 2015, 8:38 AM
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a year sounds like a poor decision
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Heisman Winner [135612]
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Re: Joe lives in NY, buying a motorcycle to ride only 3 months
Mar 6, 2015, 8:42 AM
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Heisman Winner [105609]
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I don't get it***
Mar 6, 2015, 8:47 AM
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Oculus Spirit [81902]
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Because the dad thought the vaseline was going to be used
Mar 6, 2015, 8:49 AM
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as a lubricant for Joe to sex the dad. The dad had no idea the vaseline was really for Joe to leave the table to protect his bike's chrome. And not knowing that information and assuming Joe was about to sex him, the dad broke the silence and volunteered to wash the dishes.
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Heisman Winner [105609]
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Does the dad not want to be penetrated? Maybe joe was going
Mar 6, 2015, 8:50 AM
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to give him a Handy. I really don't get this joke.
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Heisman Winner [119720]
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Joe says "LOL"***
Mar 6, 2015, 8:51 AM
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Oculus Spirit [81902]
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Heisman Winner [105609]
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THIS NEEDS TO BE CLARIFIED IN A FOLLOW UP EXPLANATION AFTER
Mar 6, 2015, 8:53 AM
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THE JOKE IS TOLD.
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Heisman Winner [105609]
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WHY WOULD ANYONE IN THERE WRITE MINE NOT DO THE DISHES FOR
Mar 6, 2015, 8:53 AM
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THAT LONG? DO THEY BUY NEW DISHES ALL THE TIME? THAT MUST BE EXPENSIVE. I BET IT STINKS IN THAT HOUSE. IS THIS A REAL STORY? WHEN THE LADIES CAME AND GAVE OUT THOSE LOUD MOANS, DO THOSE NOT COUNT AS TALKING? THERE ARE SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. WHAT KIND OF PANTIES WAS THE MOM WEARING?
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Heisman Winner [135612]
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Heisman Winner [105609]
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@Jimbeam's song was much better, hth
Mar 6, 2015, 9:08 AM
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@Jimbeam
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All-In [30195]
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Replies: 13
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