Replies: 19
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Tried to donate blood this AM
Jan 23, 2019, 12:43 PM
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but I had to wait until 9am, due to a sexual experience that happened exactly 1 year ago.
Anyways, that's not the point of the story...
I was hooked up to the double-pumper machine where they take your blood, strain out the good stuff, and pump (presumably) your trash blood back into your veins.
My vein blew out while they were pumping the trash blood back in and I guess it just got pumped into my muscle. It hurt like a #### and the folks there freaked out. I took 3 drinks, two bags of cheezit, and a pack of gummy bears for my troubles.
Arm is all bruised and has a goose-egg.
Good luck ever getting me to donate blood again.
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CU Medallion [54759]
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...butt, AIDS?***
Jan 23, 2019, 12:44 PM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Re: ...butt, AIDS?***
Jan 23, 2019, 12:45 PM
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Probably.
The dude who went before me is not someone who I would want to take blood from. I hope they Lysol'd the hellll out of that machine and rinsed out his blood before they started running mine through it.
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Heisman Winner [138350]
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Sounds like you were giving plasma. You don't have blood
Jan 23, 2019, 12:48 PM
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pumped back in when you're donating, you know...blood.
Anyway, what happened a year ago? Put it in the wife's pooper? She put it in yours? Secks with homeless man?
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All-TigerNet [12851]
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the dude question is different. "Have you EVER even ONCE"
Jan 23, 2019, 12:57 PM
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and the pay for sex question....... I always say "I'm Married, I paid with my soul"
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CU Medallion [64837]
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All-In [30199]
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CU Medallion [54759]
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Re: Nah - you can give double red cells. The machine takes your
Jan 23, 2019, 3:03 PM
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All-In [49309]
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All-In [47913]
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that sounds like plasma***
Jan 23, 2019, 12:48 PM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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you sound like plasma***
Jan 23, 2019, 1:03 PM
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CU Medallion [54759]
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RIP conservativealex***
Jan 23, 2019, 1:10 PM
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Hall of Famer [21349]
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You know you will have to elaborate on that first sentence.
Jan 23, 2019, 12:53 PM
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This is Teh Jounge... we have rules.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Well it's really a gray area.
Jan 23, 2019, 1:03 PM
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A man (jounger in fact), invited me to his trailer in Britton's Neck last year and put an inanimate object in my pooper. Not sure if that counts as sex with a man, so to be on the safe side, I waited two hours.
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Heisman Winner [105934]
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You could at least tag me and TXTF is no inanimate object,
Jan 23, 2019, 2:34 PM
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he was just scared that night.
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CU Medallion [60239]
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Oculus Spirit [79304]
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Here to donate blood eh? Great, step into my office
Jan 23, 2019, 1:13 PM
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Oculus Spirit [83199]
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Once knew a guy named Chester who had a brown van like
Jan 23, 2019, 3:19 PM
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that.
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Heisman Winner [135932]
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This EXACT thing happened to a good friend of mine last year
Jan 23, 2019, 2:18 PM
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His funeral service was really nice though.
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Oculus Spirit [94277]
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You young guys are such pansies.
Jan 23, 2019, 6:49 PM
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My first heart surgery in 1980 brought the entire GT nursing program to Greenville Memorial to learn arterial draws. I got so good at being brave I could tell them when they had punched into an artery. I also warned the little twerps before they punched through the back side too.
If the phlebotomist there had know their business they could have put enough pressure on the muscle to dissipate the blood. That would have ended your plight. Don't ask how I know
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Replies: 19
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