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FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.
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FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 6, 2017, 12:47 PM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

GO TIGERS. BEAT THE FEATHERHEADS.

Message was edited by: bdrechs

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 12:49 PM

The busted up Seminole squad
Gets trounced on the Death Valley sod!
Let's watch their weird coach -
He'll, squashed like a roach,
Epitomize all kinds of odd.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 1:02 PM

In Raleigh, the WolfPack whines
And Dorean avoided all fines
But beware the mad fan
With a bottle in hand
And no technology on the sidelines

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 1:15 PM

For years, Noles have been near the top
By signing the cream of the crop;
But the flop of that crop
Has put a stop to the chop.
This week will they blame the laptop?

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:55 PM

This would almost be better suited for Eminem lyrics with you spittin' all dem rhymes, yo.

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Limericks almost got us beat last week


Nov 6, 2017, 1:40 PM

Last time I wrote a limerick, as soon as I finished, I went out to recess and played a kicka$$ game of red rover.

Maybe we should work on sonnets this week...about three stanzas (42 lines/points) should do it!

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Re: Limericks almost got us beat last week


Nov 6, 2017, 6:17 PM

I did that last year for the Fiesta Bowl against Ohio State. That worked out pretty well…

https://www.tigernet.com/forums/thread.jspa?threadID=1652387&tstart=0

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I have to admit I have scattered a few points


Nov 6, 2017, 7:35 PM

Some of these are pretty good!

I just didn’t get the creative writing genes in my family; those went to my oldest brother...a Princeton grad and professor of creative writing at Cincinnati. And a HUGE Clemson hoops fan!

My claim to poetry fame came in the 6th grade (37 years ago), when I wrote a poem entitled “What is Orange?” I have posted excerpts here before, but the best line is not politically correct in 2017.

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roses are red and violets are black fsu suxor and that's a fact***


Nov 6, 2017, 1:42 PM



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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 3:09 PM

We blazed past the Wolfpack tow'l-grab,
And Jimbo's bowl bid he won't nab.
Wherever he stops,
Let's ask a few cops
To see if he took any crab...

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:26 PM

I love your lil' tomahawk thing!
That's cute, those five notes that y'all sing!
Here's somethin' cool, too -
We'll show it to you -
A national championship ring.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:29 PM

Those poor unfortunate souls
Have tumbled right out of the polls.
You'd have to agree
That it must suck to be
The Florida State Seminoles.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:38 PM

Chief O and his horse Renegade
Embark on their Tiger crusade;
"This battle we'll win!"
He says with a grin.
That guy really needs to get laid.

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There once was a coach named Jimbo


Nov 6, 2017, 4:39 PM

Whose ex-wife was quite the bimbo
She hooked up with a Gator
Then said see ya later
Now 6 L's and his career is in limbo

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:43 PM

There once was a man from Nantucket
I hate Florida State
GO Tigers !!


Did I do it right?

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Chief Osceola has the sads


Nov 6, 2017, 4:44 PM

Cause his Noles is really quite bads
His spear still burns bright
But no fans are in sight
'cause they all want to scalp Jimbo's nads

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FSU just banned all of their frats


Nov 6, 2017, 4:47 PM

Dealin' coke and acting like brats
Now they all want to flee
'Cause the crab legs ain't free
But soon they'll all have prison tats

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 4:49 PM

The Seminole tribe is uncunquered,
But Jimbo is mentally bunkered,
And he's botched their season.
We have ev'ry reason
To whip 'em while quiv'ring and hunkered.

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O O OOO OOO O OOO


Nov 6, 2017, 4:53 PM

We have no OOO OOO O OOO
Frenchy's gone and the season blows
Their anger this week only grows
Tigers win 31 to Zer-OOO OOO

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 5:09 PM

Coach Fisher's attempt at beard scruff
Is not quite sufficient enough
To totally cure
Or even obscure
The manic, incompetent stuff.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 5:11 PM

The moves of Cam Akers are nifty.
That talented guy can by shifty.
He'll find a surprise
When he slips and he slides;
The horse took a dump on the fifty!

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I don't do poetry.


Nov 6, 2017, 5:20 PM

You can stick all that rhetoric
Straight where the sun won't bother it.
I never have cared
about poets who flared.
So i'm not considering all your bullchit.

Did I get close enough?

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Re: I don't do poetry.


Nov 9, 2017, 6:41 AM

I'd say you're alright, '88!
The rhymes that you've tried to create
Are outside-the-box.
Let's hope that unlocks
Your poetic Seminole hate!

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I apologize for not respecting your post.


Nov 9, 2017, 8:50 AM

It was wrong of me to be lazy and take that out on you.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 5:30 PM

Make sure I'm not misunderstanding:
The national media's gladhanding
Put Noles in the 3 spot?
I bet that's been re-thought,
Consid'ring their feces-like standing…

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There once was a TNetter named "b-drechs,"


Nov 6, 2017, 5:42 PM

Who's always asking for lim'recks.
But he is so O-C-D,
He wrote a meter decree.
It seems he might just need some more #####.

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Re: There once was a TNetter named


Nov 6, 2017, 6:00 PM

Dang, Billy - you cut like a knife!
Why throw so much shade and cause strife?
The former stuff's true -
Love detail, I do.
The latter? I'll check with my wife...!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 7:26 PM

I think Jimbo called the refs "gutless"
When last year we cut the Noles nutless.
His Doeren-like whining
Got him a big fining,
But still his big mouth remains shutless.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 7:38 PM

Dabo has more class in his pinky
Than Jimbo's whole body. He's stinky!
But through his irateness,
He'd cite all the greatness
Of FSU - "Look at our Weinke!"

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 9:36 PM

It's only a matter of time -
A Nole gets arrested for crime.
Oh, what's that you say?
One ousted today?
What deviant, criminal slime.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 9:43 PM

bdrechs is the nazi of rhymes
Though it’s likely a sign of the times
His schtick is so old
Limericks’ product so cold
His pulse will atone for his crimes!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:06 PM

Look, Claw - you're a poet as well,
With penchant for rhyme. I can tell!
You're yearning for more -
I've got some in store.
Is that love for lim'ricks I smell?

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:15 PM

OK you’ve caught me red handed!
And the ETN Express has landed,
When we’re through with the Noles,
They’ll resemble Nick Foles,
So utterly speared, scalped, and branded!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:17 PM

Atta boy.

GO TIGERS.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 9:53 PM

"We score and we'll show you the chop!
We'll chop when our D makes a stop!"
And when y'all get beat,
You'll slump in your seat,
And let your lil' choppy wrist flop.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:16 PM

We won't have to grovel or beg
To lower the Noles down a peg.
When they come to play,
We'll all watch them lay
A Native American egg.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:24 PM

I smell Jimbo's fear in his rants -
He's doing a job-worry dance.
But maybe the odor,
Despite his mouth motor,
Is Seminole crap in his pants?

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 10:57 PM

"I am the Great Seminole Chief.
My spirit can find no relief.
We've squandered our gains.
What mem'ry remains?
A dope and a crustacean thief."



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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 11:35 PM

One is one hundred per cent first class
The other, often just a big asss
The first is Dabo
The other is Jimbo
Let's grind his Noles into the grass

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 6, 2017, 11:50 PM

We don't often see the Noles, in such disarray,
But come Saturday, we know they'll come to play.
But our Tigers are too strong,
The Noles can't last for long,
And go back to Tallahassee, in dismay!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 12:01 AM

Their QB is really skinny...
In fact smaller than a penny..
This guy needs to eat...
I suggest red meat...
Our Defense will make him Unpretty....

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 6:42 AM

I can't help but notice a trend
When Jimbo's Nole tribe we upend.
He'll open his mouth
And things will go south -
He'll verbally show his rear end.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 6:56 AM

The Tribe, in their face paint and leathers,
Endures most attacks that it weathers,
But they're down a few
Contributors, who
Must stroke Jimbo's ego with feathers.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 7:03 AM

Jimbo's team's been a bit tamer
since he caught his wife ####### that trainer
now the buyout is counted
'cause the losses have mounted
much like Candi did to that Gator

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 9:10 AM

When Jimbo and crew come around,
They may bring some chop and chant sound,
Till we stomp em t'hell,
Just tears they'll expel,
Yes Tigers again Playoff Bound!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 9:28 AM

This FSU season's a mystery.
The Noles really have a great history.
But when Saturday comes,
We'll beat 'em like drums
And leave their behinds all a-blistery.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 9:31 AM

So bdrechs titled this thread "FSU WEEK Limericks," not "FSU GAME Limericks." So here are a couple for this week outside Clemson/FSU...

This weekend is ##### vs Gators.
The Gamecocks think Steve is a traitor.
I can’t tell a lie...
I laughed till I cried
When Spurrier said “See ya later!”


Oh my, how the mighty have fallen!
The SEC reaper's come callin'.
Gators, Vols, LSU,
A&M and ##### too...
The whole conference is darn quite appallin'.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 2:36 PM

For postseason play? Don't project 'em -
It seems Jimbo's failed to direct 'em.
The bowl they'll be in
Is something akin
To ones where I empty my rectum.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form makes for better trash talk)


Nov 7, 2017, 2:43 PM

Ol' Jameis: profanity user
And notable verbal abuser -
An underwear stain
With less of a brain -
Perhaps he'll distract these poor losers.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 7, 2017, 6:32 PM

The Seminole Chief's noble steed
Sleeps standing upright. Yes indeed!
The Seminole guys
Have acted likewise -
They'd rather just snooze than succeed.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 7, 2017, 6:45 PM

The spray tan and gold necklace kings -
The crowd that incessantly sings -
Will roll into town,
And we'll shut 'em down
And make sure the Tiger bite stings!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 8, 2017, 8:02 AM

When Jimbo can't cross the Or'nge Hurdle,
His Seminole blood might just curdle!
He'll fully become
(suspected by some)
A veiny, maniacal turtle.



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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 8, 2017, 5:31 PM

The Noles lose again? That's correct.
The Bowl folks are gonna reject
Requests from Coach James
For postseason games –
Bad football can have that effect.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 8, 2017, 9:54 PM

He's got a gut-string for a calf.
That skeletal build - what a laugh!
When Dex gets him grounded
We might hear, resounded,
A KitKat bar breaking in half!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 8, 2017, 10:21 PM

Your season did not really start-well.
Your players have not done their part-well.
You're gonna get gashed.
Your hopes will be dashed
Right here at the shores of Lake Hartwell.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 8, 2017, 10:37 PM

Y'all look like your gear shifter's stuck.
I think you're just down on your luck.
It's gotta be tough,
A season this rough.
So, what does it feel like to suck?

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 9, 2017, 12:10 AM

A program made famous by Bobby
Using tricks that made them quite snobby
But we figured them out
And now we’re quite stout
The Noles should find a new hobby

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"All those 'Fire Brownell' guys can kiss it." -Joseph Girard III

"Everybody needs to know that Coach Brownell is arguably the best coach to come through Clemson." -PJ Hall


Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 9, 2017, 6:32 AM

The donors smell Jimbo-sedition
In light of their crumbling tradition.
When low in the polls,
No bowl for the Noles!
Their team's in the fetal position!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 9, 2017, 7:32 AM

Bdrechs believes his own hype
Spews reams and reams of tripe
But he shouldn't be canned,
Or summarily banned,
Just lose his ability to type.

:)

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Re: FSU Week Limericks (proper form, yada yada...)


Nov 9, 2017, 8:57 AM

Hey '6er - I ain't got no hype!
(All most of us do is just type)
I love a good joke,
Some trash talk, some poke -
At least it's just one thread of tripe…!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 9, 2017, 2:39 PM

Hey kids, something fun is in town!
You'll love when it jumps up and down!
It raves and it rants
At men in or'nge pants -
It's Jimbo the FSU Clown!

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Re: FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 9, 2017, 9:18 PM

To rally you, he'll take a stab -
Ol' Jameis a hot mic will grab
And it'll get weird.
Much worse than you feared.
I'll bet you the legs of a crab.

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Re: FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 9, 2017, 9:43 PM

They haven't been this bad in years.
They've all but abandoned their spears.
This FSU bunch?
We'll eat 'em for lunch.
The Oculus feeds on their tears.



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Re: FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 9, 2017, 10:06 PM

Hey Noles, let us show you around!
Take in all the sights and the sound!
Hey, look over there -
You might get a scare!
You see that black grave on the ground...?

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Re: FSU Week Limericks: Just 2 more days to post your wordplays. It's rhyme time.


Nov 10, 2017, 6:37 AM

The Seminoles wallow in dread,
Aware that in Clemson, they're dead.
They're trying to cope
With fast-fleeting hope,
But won't even conquer the spread.

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