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Married Life
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Married Life


Feb 15, 2013, 8:48 AM

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “Fark it, soldier on!”

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you #######!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I no has it!***


Feb 15, 2013, 8:51 AM



badge-donor-10yr.jpg2006_nit_champ.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

We're friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I get in my boat and save your retarded a$$.


That ver funny!***


Feb 15, 2013, 9:18 AM



badge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I KNOW!!!


Feb 15, 2013, 10:15 AM

Who doesn't have a frost free refrigerator, right?

ringofhonor-rhtig.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


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