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All-In [40656]
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Guys Brunch Update
Mar 12, 2021, 11:51 AM
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After getting difficult friend to announce publicly that his wife is not coming tomorrow, a few things have unfolded since.
Last evening, he texts me individually asking what my wife will be doing while everyone is over. I informed him that she will be running errands in the beginning while the baby is asleep, then once she returns, she will be inside with the baby while we get drunk. He attempts to pull the "supporting spouse" card out of his pocket and mentions that he isn't a fan of not seeing her while hes over at the house and that if his wife came over, she could help entertain Red "while Red and LilRulez sat there dealing with our shenanigans alone". I get him to back off of this approach by mentioning that she won't be joining us because its a guys thing.
This morning, we are all conversing about bourbon and getting vaccines. All of us have our first dose, so friend with spouse chimes in, "my wife is getting her first shot today, but I told her that it didn't matter because she's not invited tomorrow". We all ignore this, because its quite clear he's just trying to get us to bite at the lack of invitation.
About thirty minutes later, I share a meme about getting drunk. Friend with spouse responds, "So you're saying I will need to be dropped off and picked up?" This is clearly alluding to him having to inconvenience his wife and kid by having to drop him off at my house, then leave, then come back and pick him up. He is insinuating that if she stays, he can drink as much as he'd like, then have a DD. This is the breaking point for me. I respond, "we are all intelligent here, we know what you're doing." He does not like this and snaps back and says, "its called responsibility".
But its not. It's about you not having a sack and telling your wife that she is staying home while you spend a few hours with your friends. Dude isn't taking no for an answer, so I am fully worried that I am going to have to Father G® this #### tomorrow when he shows up with his wife and kid even though he's been told now a total of 5 times.
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All-In [46825]
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Remove the lil ##### from the group chat
Mar 12, 2021, 11:53 AM
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problem solved.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Tell him to Uber.
Mar 12, 2021, 11:54 AM
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or just do not come.
Easy peasy.
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Lot o points [163012]
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And btw, it is no f'ing business what your wife is doing
Mar 12, 2021, 11:59 AM
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she lives there.
One more incident and just cut him off. STAY AT HOME should be the next words out of your mouth or text from you.
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All-In [31500]
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Guy’s Brunchhhhhhhh!!!!
Mar 12, 2021, 11:55 AM
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All-In [46825]
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I can smell the KY Jelly through the monitor***
Mar 12, 2021, 11:56 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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That's just your upper lip.
Mar 12, 2021, 12:20 PM
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You should just use a baby wipe to clean off the surface before sucking your load back out.
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All-In [31500]
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Re: Guy’s Brunchhhhhhhh!!!!
Mar 12, 2021, 11:57 AM
[ in reply to Guy’s Brunchhhhhhhh!!!! ] |
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Just as an aside, this image is #2 on GIS for “guy’s brunch” from an article called “Finding your next boyfriend” on a website called The Gilded Bellini.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Sounds about right
Mar 12, 2021, 11:59 AM
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This much planning and worrying didn't go into the Royal Wedding
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All-In [40656]
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All-In [31500]
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Re: You can just be like
Mar 12, 2021, 12:09 PM
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I do have a new cardigan that I think the group would really like, but I haven’t been getting as many compliments on it as I would have thought.
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All-In [40656]
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We got you***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:10 PM
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Lot o points [155938]
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CU Medallion [66079]
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I legit have no problems on a hard pass on a guy
Mar 12, 2021, 11:57 AM
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who does not have a pair
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All-In [49048]
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To be fair though, we're talking about a "guy's brunch."
Mar 12, 2021, 12:00 PM
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It's not like they are headed to Vegas to bang hookers.
Message was edited by: FordPrefect®
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All-In [49048]
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Sorry..."Guy's Brunch." Very formal.***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:02 PM
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All-In [40656]
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All-In [49048]
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Did this guy try to bring his wife to Vegas?
Mar 12, 2021, 12:03 PM
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or does he just try to bring his wife to the stuff that seems like girls would do?
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All-In [40656]
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He typically doesn't include his wife if things
Mar 12, 2021, 12:08 PM
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are being covered by his money. So Vegas was out because even if she wanted to come, they wouldn't have shelled out the cost.
Money and exercise. Two things that elude this woman.
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All-In [46825]
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Oculus Spirit [79253]
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Guys brunch? Wat TF?
Mar 12, 2021, 12:06 PM
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*checks username*
oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh
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All-In [34486]
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I don't know your friend, and I don't know you
Mar 12, 2021, 12:07 PM
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more than what we share in Snapchat.
But this guy sounds like a bich.
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Hall of Famer [22331]
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At this point, I think we can all agree that all you need to
Mar 12, 2021, 12:08 PM
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do is just T-mail G and do what he says... all other suggestions are superfluous and inferior.
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All-In [40656]
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I am enjoying being a content creator at the moment.
Mar 12, 2021, 12:09 PM
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And I think others are enjoying the punching bag.
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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Good luck having this terrible woman at your
Mar 12, 2021, 12:09 PM
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house tomorrow.
Seems like the dude needs cut from the group. What does he even bring to the table?
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All-In [32654]
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Even if he does show up by hisself - he will be all pissy &
Mar 12, 2021, 1:35 PM
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moody & such - passive aggressive about everything . . . just tell him not to come.
And he's already put a huge cloud over the whole thing for you.
Kill it. No guy's brunch. He's why you can't have nice things.
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All-In [43732]
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Uhh. "guys brunch" ain't in the category of nice things***
Mar 12, 2021, 1:36 PM
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All-In [32654]
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Apparently for rulez & his merry band of butt pirates it is***
Mar 12, 2021, 1:39 PM
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Heisman Winner [135941]
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Send to your friend
Mar 12, 2021, 12:10 PM
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“We’ll miss you but at least know we’re going to be talking about you.”
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Oculus Spirit [79253]
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WAIT A MINUTE HOLE UP HEAR....
Mar 12, 2021, 12:11 PM
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and I fully share blame in this too 4 not asking...butt...
WEAR TF ARE THEM TIDDIE PIGS AT FOR THIS TAGALONG WIVE?
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All-TigerNet [12763]
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I would start by
Mar 12, 2021, 12:15 PM
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CHANGING THE NAME OF THIS EVENT
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All-In [40656]
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Nah, this one is trademarked***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:19 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79253]
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Yeah, something less gay like
Mar 12, 2021, 12:20 PM
[ in reply to I would start by ] |
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Goob gobbling and nob slobbing
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Dude, just let Greenr bring his wife. How bad could she be?***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:19 PM
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All-In [34486]
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Re: Dude, just let Greenr bring his wife. How bad could she be?***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:28 PM
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Oh she's REAL bad ??????
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Oculus Spirit [97729]
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Just don't invite him. After the divorce, try again
Mar 12, 2021, 12:21 PM
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He's a lost cause and will always be until he knows he is, then and only then will he be salvageable. He may in fact end up being the life of the party one day. Like the kid with overbearing parents who goes off to college and lets loose. Sounds like after the divorce he would probably be a lot of fun.
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All-In [43732]
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I feel like this has been sorta covered
Mar 12, 2021, 12:27 PM
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but wanted to mention (just in case it hasn't been covered well) that this whole thing sounds GHAY.
Ditch the name, tell that cuck to fuggoff, and have some boys over for grilled food and drinks and do this the way a MAN would do it.
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Orange Blooded [4356]
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Gays Brunch Update
Mar 16, 2020, 9:05 PM
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Fify
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All-In [43732]
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Good one, TheBull.
Mar 12, 2021, 12:30 PM
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Good one!
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All-In [40656]
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All-In [43732]
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Hey so this spouse that doesn't exercise
Mar 12, 2021, 12:35 PM
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She's liable to have some good sized tiddies can you post a pig of them in here real quick?
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Heisman Winner [105598]
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Can we get a timeline of events for brunch?
Mar 12, 2021, 12:44 PM
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Something like this:
10:30am: Boys arrive, everyone hugs and compliments each other on attire
11:00am: First bloody mary pitcher is divvied up
11:30am: Vegetarian burgers go the George Foreman
11:45: Bloody mary's were made skrong, things start getting a little handsy
12:00pm: Veggie burgers are done and eaten, full belly's got some crystals glowing
12:30pm: "Sunshine circle" is formed in the backyard. Everyone disrobes and lays in a circle.
12:35pm: JO session commences
12:45pm: Everyone has finished on their tummy as they lay there holding hands
1:00pm: Red brings towels out to everyone to clean up. Bros high five each other and go home to their respective families
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All-In [34486]
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Hold on, almost finished***
Mar 12, 2021, 12:46 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79253]
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All-In [43732]
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Great stuff!
Mar 12, 2021, 12:51 PM
[ in reply to Can we get a timeline of events for brunch? ] |
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I feel like the following items are involved, and I'm guessing you left them off in the name of brevity.
Protein shake Strawberries Toyota Prius
Good post nonetheless!
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Heisman Winner [105598]
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These aren't Prius type people, they are
Mar 12, 2021, 12:53 PM
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Tesla Boyz (no offense soccerkrzy®)
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All-In [43732]
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Uhh. Sir, I'm pretty sure I read where one of those
Mar 12, 2021, 12:56 PM
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wankers couldn't afford a trip to Las Vegas.
Also, I've seen Rulz bank accounts sir. FIRST HAND. Can't have a Tesla AND yuge sums of money...it don twerk like that.
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Heisman Winner [105598]
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Just because they can/can't afford a Tesla doesn't mean
Mar 12, 2021, 12:58 PM
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they don't JO to youtube Tesla Unboxing videos. Do they come in a box? I know CRulez friends don't. (jk, they do, they have kids)
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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I thought I covered the protein shakes, but oh yeah...
Mar 12, 2021, 1:01 PM
[ in reply to Great stuff! ] |
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There's a lot of protein shakes, if you know what I mean.
There's probably some weird things involved we don't even know about that stems from the frat boy days, like Hot Wheels cars shoved up their bholes or something wild.
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All-In [43732]
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Burban shot swap kissing***
Mar 12, 2021, 1:05 PM
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All-In [31500]
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Re: Can we get a timeline of events for brunch?
Mar 12, 2021, 1:15 PM
[ in reply to Can we get a timeline of events for brunch? ] |
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This sounds like a totally perfect day. Let’s make sure the lawn boy comes over the day before so that everything is all freshly mowed and edged and looking super cute for the Instagram pics and group choreographed tiktoks. I just hope we’ll have enough food, we might need to pick up things to make a cheese board, or at least get some tropical fruits for a nice fruit salad. I’ll make sure to bring my travel sized moisturizer and collagen dark circle cream in case anyone’s having a bad skin day.
I’m glad we’re wrapping up early afternoon too, they’re dropping every season of What Not to Wear on Netflix and let’s just say my TV and I have a date LMAO!
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All-In [43732]
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Ha. I'll bet they all wear masks outdoors
Mar 12, 2021, 1:27 PM
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and GUARANTEE rulz will have a hand sanitizing station set up.
Good call, this is nothing but a social media photoshoot.
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Lot o points [155938]
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All-In [43732]
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Mebbe not. But I bet he Artisan water, flax seed oil, with a
Mar 12, 2021, 1:43 PM
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splash of Belvederes though.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Everyone gets a Perrier and paracord bracelet in their
Mar 12, 2021, 1:58 PM
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gift bags.
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Lot o points [155938]
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Hi guys! You'll find embroidered Grip 6 belts in your
Mar 12, 2021, 2:00 PM
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fabulous gift bag. So fun!
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CU Medallion [66079]
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Dude, I invite you to get GRIP 6 af
Mar 12, 2021, 2:02 PM
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and you too will say.....why and I am I not boiling my food like 19B
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Oculus Spirit [78892]
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Re: Guys Brunch Update
Mar 12, 2021, 12:46 PM
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.
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All-In [40344]
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Get Red to arrange a ladies meat up
Mar 12, 2021, 1:11 PM
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Inside while y’all are outside, or whatever scenario would keep them separate
Don’t invite his wife
Or let everyone else know to bring wives and don’t tell him until the last minute (the point we all know where a female won’t be able to get ready in time)
I do find it rather interesting that there is THIS much drama over a guys brunch, maybe it’s a sign?
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All-In [36450]
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Tell him you don’t want to be friends no more.***
Mar 12, 2021, 1:11 PM
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