Internet Message Board Quiz (had time to kill at the airport)

Jan 22, 2001, 12:00 AM

Roughly 5 years ago I turned on my new desktop computer, complete with a 90 MHz processor and 14K modem. I was ready to enter the cyber world. One of the first things I did was type c-l-e-m-s-o-n in my search engine. Low and behold, I found a little message board for Clemson that was run by a couple computer nerd students at Clemson University. Now, Tigernet2 exist, complete with chat rooms and a front page that gives me access to all the Clemson news I could ever want. During all this time, I have learned many things about internet sports message boards, and have written a neat little test for others. The following questions will give you feedback of your status as an internet capable sports fan. Jot down you answers and compare them to the key at the end.

Question #1 . Your head coach leaves your school to go to another school. He
A: Saw a better opportunity and seized it
B: Is simply trying to outrun the NCAA
C: Was having an affair with a secretary
D: Was having an affair with a coed

Question #2 . A team other than your own wins a National Championship. They
A: Have great coaches and have really recruited well over the past several years
B: Are a one year wonder simply got all the breaks, down year for powerhouse teams
C: Have a weak schedule and only have to get up for 1-2 games per year
D: Have a bigger team payroll than the Washington Redskins

Question #3 . Your team loses a recruit that was favoring your team for 2 months. Your coaches

A: Got complacent with the kid and didn.t follow up as well as they should have.
B: Filled up at his position before the kid would .pull the trigger. and firm up his commitment
C: Didn.t think the kid was going to qualify and backed off
D: Were able to get 2 guys at his position that are 10 times better!

Question #4 . Your team has fought your bitter rival for a kid for months. The kid commits and signs with your rival. You

A: Can.t win them all. Kudos to your rival.
B: Happen to know that the kid was a longtime fan of the other school. Hard to overcome that.
C: Didn.t want him anyway
D: Know good and #### well that they bought the kid. Gave him a jeep, his mom a job, and his drunk uncle 10K in cash.

Question #5 . Your team just lost a game. A new .handle. appears offering his/her thoughts on the game. He is
A: A great fan who normally just lurks but felt compelled to offer his insight about the loss.
B: A bitter fan who only likes to post if he has something to complain about
C: A good natured guy from a rivals board just poking a little honest, good natured fun
D: A flaming idiot from your bitter rival.s board

Question #6 . You begin a post on another team.s message board with the words, .This is not a flame, but.. You
A: Are simply trying to start an intelligent conversation with other sports fans
B: Are taking a little jab, but still hoping to be taken seriously
C: Are just hoping that the statement alone will allow you to keep your password on the board
D: Have just written the greatest freaking subtle flame in history

Question #7 . There is another sports message board that supports the same team that you do. The posters and webmasters of that site are
A: Just more great fans that for whatever reason feel more comfortable on that site
B: Surely good fans, just not quite as knowledgeable and entertaining as the ones on your site
C: All kids that no absolutely nothing about the true traditions of your team. They never post messages with substance and love to start rumors.
D: Complete freakin morons who are doing more to damage your team.s reputation than any rival team.s site could.

Question #8 . Your team signs a football prospect that no one has ever heard of. Your coaches are
A: Wasting a #### scholarship
B: Impressed by his leadership qualities that will help the team in so many ways
C: Taking on chance on the guy, but, he is 6.7., 180lbs, with big feet and the heart of a lion. They.ll grow him into a stud.
D: GENIUSES!!!! No one can evaluate talent like your coaches! The kid will be a 3 year All American! Trust Them!

Now score yourself as follows:
A answer worth 1 point
B answer worth 2 points
C answer worth 3 points
D answer worth 5 points

If you scored 35-40 points you are a veteran! A true Internet Sports Message Board Pro!

If you scored 24-34 points you are getting there! 10 months from now you will make it to the show!

If you scored 16-23 points you are still an internet cherry. You still have a long way to go.

If you scored 10-15 points..well...you are a moron :")

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Internet Message Board Quiz (had time to kill at the airport)

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