Heisman Winner [135647]
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Finally.....The RH Tig Recruiting Wrap Up Post!!!
Feb 2, 2011, 4:53 PM
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Thanks for standing by your computers! I know we're all licking our wounds from the loss of Parnell Burnside today...but chin up Tiger fans. This class ranks a solid 5 star average!
Corey Crawford – On the RH Tig scale he’s a 5 star recruit, Crawford is widely considered by many experts to already be on campus. This is a real plus with the Clemson staff, as working with kids that aren’t on campus has proven to a tough proposition in the past. I haven’t seen any film on this kid, but he reminds me of NFL great Reggie White, because it was the first defensive end name I could come up with.
Joe Gore – Another 5 star RH Tig scale recruit, Gore is from Lake Waccamaw, which means he’s comfortable around water and probably has a swim move that will propel him to All American status. He reminds me of Deacon Jones, because I always thought Deacon was a cool first name.
Tony McNeal – McNeal is a 5 star RH Tig QB recruit, and it’s been said that he could throw a ball on to a stage at a concert from at least 10 rows further back than former Clemson great 19B. Of course, it goes without saying that McNeal is very mobile as well. McNeal reminds me of Donovan McNabb, another great QB of Irish heritage.
Cole Stoudt – Cole is another RH Tig 5 star recruit, making Clemson the only school in the nation with multiple RH Tig 5 star QB recruits. Stoudt is the son of NFL great Cliff Stoudt, which automatically means that Cole will achieve NFL greatness as well because of the NFLs policy for promoting nepotism. Stoudt reminds me of NFL great Cliff Stoudt.
Martavis Bryant – Bryant is another RH Tig 5 star recruit widely believed by experts to already be on campus. I’ve not seen him play in person or on film, but I will hold to my belief that he could catch a football at crowded concert thrown by 19B, and THAT in and of itself makes this kid special. Bryant reminds me of former great Anita Bryant, mostly because I would LOVE to have a glass of cold, fresh orange juice right now.
Robert Smith – Robert Smith is another RH Tig 5 star recruit, and the thing that makes him an absolute steal for Clemson on NSD is that he understands how to compete under pressure. He proved this all throughout the 80s and early 90s as the lead singer for The Cure. Clemson is lucky to have a talent like this, both athletically and musically. Smith reminds me of Ian Curtis, former lead singer of Joy Division.
Colton Walls – Walls is not only a 5 star RH Tig recruit, but also the son of former NFL great Wesley Walls. Clemson’s staff could not take a pass on a kid that has an NFL pedigree, because sometimes having these connections is the only way someone is able to scam a ticket to a sold out game. Smart move by Dabo, if you ask me. He reminds me of former NFL great Wesley Walls.
Ryan Norton – Norton is the only recruit that was a 5 star RH Tig pick as well as an RH Tig Goatee All American. This kid’s film is absolutely packed with exciting moments of high school goatee glory, and my guess is that Division I schools were lined up around the corner for a goatee as prolific as this one. Norton reminds me of Red Sox great Kevin Youkilis.
Ammon Lakip – Lakip is the only kicker in the nation to have earned the RH Tig 5 star status. Lakip is said to have a leg so powerful that he could kick over a Miata with one swipe. I have actually seen his professionally produced video, and I hear that it has literally packed the house at the Sundance Film Festival. Lakip reminds me of cinematic great James Cameron.
Mike Bellamy – A 5 star RH Tig pick at running back and one of the celebrated Bellamy Brothers, former CMT greats. I fully expect great things from Bellamy both on the field, and with songs about trains, trucks, prison, and getting drunk. Bellamy reminds me of Hank Williams Jr.
Cortez Davis – Davis is both a RH Tig 5 star recruit and a first team RH Tig Dreadlock All-American. This kid not only has great football moves, but a funky Kingston rhythm. The plus side for the Clemson staff is that having this kid in the program gets Tiger football closer to Jah. Davis reminds me of Bob Marley.
Morgan Roberts – Roberts is another RH Tig 5 star QB. This kid absolutely lit up the SCISA, and had HUGE games against some very stiff defenses in the private school league. A real plus for Clemson is that this kid knows how to operate around people of money and privilege, which bodes well for coaches who may be looking for other opportunities if things don’t work out down the road at Clemson. Roberts reminds me of Peyton Manning in that he probably has his room cleaned up, homework done, and is in bed by 9:30 on a school night.
Sammy Watkins – Watkins is a RH Tig 5 star recruit at receiver, and from watching the film on him, I feel 100% certain he could catch a greased feral hog dropped from 10 stories up while wearing roller skates. Watkins reminds me of what the offspring of Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, and Lynn Swann would be were that even possible through some kind of nightmarish stem cell research gone wrong/cloning process.
Shaq Anthony – Anthony is a 5 star RH Tig OL recruit, and more than likely named after famed Irish comic Shaquille O’Neal. Therefore it stands to reason that Anthony has a quick wit and is capable of getting a laugh from his audience under pressure. Levity has been a hallmark of the Clemson program during the Bowden-Swinney era, and it stands to reason that keeping that tradition alive is very important for Clemson. Anthony reminds me of Sinbad because of wit, size, and mobility.
Stanton Seckinger – Seckinger is another of the multiple RH Tig 5 star recruits Clemson hauled in at the receiver position. He’ll be a good one. Seckinger reminds me of what the offspring of Steve Largent, Wes Welker, Dwight Clark, and Cris Collinsworth would be were that even possible through some kind of nightmarish stem cell research gone wrong/cloning process.
DeShaun Williams – Williams is a 5 star DL recruit who is widely considered by recruiting experts to be from Clemson. The upside for this kid is that he already knows where Mac’s is, and more than likely knows better than to order a milkshake there. This cuts Williams’ learning curve way down, and I fully expect him to contribute early because of this. He reminds me of current Clemson great Jarvis Jenkins because of his footwork, strength and mailing address.
Kevin Dodd – Dodd is a 5 star RH Tig pick at OL, and widely considered to have one of the most concise names of the entire 2011 recruiting class. I look forward with great pleasure to the consistent pronunciation of his name by rival radio broadcasters over the next 4 or 5 years. He reminds me of any or all of the John Smiths.
Adam Humphries – Humphries is an RH 5 star recruit and another of the vaunted receiving corps hauled in by the Clemson staff. He was known for his versatility in high school, as he played every position on the field. Coaches are hoping that this versatility will allow him to not only to excel as a receiver, but on the golf, soccer, and swim team as well.
Charone Peake – Peake comes in as a 5 star RH Tig receiver, and is in no way related to former Van Halen singer Gary Cherone. This is a good thing, as Van Halen absolutely stunk with Gary Cherone. The only way this signing could have generated more excitement would have been to locked up an LOI from David Lee Roth Peake, although the staff might have been able to coach up a sleeper like Sammy Hagar Peake. Peake reminds me of what the offspring of Stanton Seckinger, Adam Humphries, and Sammy Watkins were that even possible through some kind of nightmarish stem cell research gone wrong/cloning process.
Jerome Maybank – Maybank is an RH Tig 5 star DL and hails from Pawley’s Island. Since he lives on an island, I would fully expect this kid to hit the ground running with the intangibles of being able to bake coconut cream pies and powering small household appliances with batteries made out of coconuts. These are things that cannot be coached! Maybank reminds me of former Clemson great William Perry because of this love for pie.
Isaiah Battle – Battle is a 5 star RH Tig OL recruit. A battle is something you must win to win a war. Football is war. To win in football, you must win the battle. Therefore, we automatically win by having a kid named Battle. Battle reminds me of Tom Hanks. In Saving Private Ryan. Because they were always in a battle.
Grady Jarrett – Grady Jarrett is another RH Tig 5 star DL recruit, and a first team RH Tig NASCAR Driver Sounding Name all American. There’s no doubt that this kid goes fast and turns left as well as any recruit in the nation. These skills are why the staff covets this kid. Jarrett reminds me of Rickey Bobby.
Eric McLain – McLain is the lone RH Tig 5 star TE recruit, but he’s a good one, because he’s a 5 star RH Tig recruit. If he were not a 5 star, then I would have pegged him as a 4 star. That would still make him good, just not as good as if he were a 5 star. McLain reminds me of Bennie Cunningham, because I always liked Bennie Cunningham. Not that I don’t anymore, because I still do. I just don’t hear much from him these days.
BJ Goodson – Goodson is one of a crop of 5 star LB recruits, which RH Tig has deemed the greatest linebacker recruiting class in the history of recruiting. Goodson also goes by BJ, and who doesn’t love a good BJ? Goodson reminds me of #### Butkus.
Spencer Region – Region is a 5 star RH Tig OL recruit, and if he continues his tradition of painting his face with war paint for every game, I will revise my rating later to a 6 star. Clemson has been severely lacking players that wear war paint for many years now, and the staff has made great inroads to this talent pipeline by finally getting one on campus. Region reminds me of Chief Wahoo McDaniel.
Lateek Townsend – Townsend is another RH Tig 5 star LB recruit, and more than likely the missing piece of the puzzle for multiple championships at Clemson. Finally! A kid named Lateek. We dreamed it was possible to get a Lateek, and this staff went out and made it a reality. Lateek reminds of Rahim Abdullah, a former Clemson great linebacker whose name was also like molasses coming out of your mouth.
Tony Steward – Steward is another RH Tig 5 star recruit and an RH Tig second team NASCAR Driver Sounding Name All American. This was a huge pick up for the Tigers, and a validation to RH Tig’s recruiting expertise by being the only nationally respected recruiting expert to call him for the Tigers before the LOI was faxed. Steward reminds me of a young Ray Lewis, and the Clemson coaches are counting on Steward to be just as murderous. On the field, that is.
Stephone Anthony – Anthony was the final RH Tig 5 star linebacker recruit of the day picked up by the Tigers. Anthony is considered to be the best player in North Carolina, which means he is in all likelihood and excellent basketball player and should be able to help our basketball team after the football season. Anthony is what I call a Win-Win recruit. He reminds me of Julius Peppers, because Julius was not only a dominant defender, but also came out to help his basketball team when the chips were down.
Roderick Byers – Byers was a late addition to the Tigers recruiting board, and revised as of this morning to RH Tig 5 star status. Of course, Byers is from Rock Hill, and should have been a 5 star all along. He’s from Rock Hill, where every player is an NFL hall of famer waiting to happen. Byers was a huge steal for the Tigers, as all of the SEC money men are camped out in the woods behind Jadaveon Clowney’s house and let their attentions fade on this incredible specimen of Rock Hill manhood. Not only do the Tigers get an NFL caliber player, as all players from Rock Hill are, but they didn’t have to sneak him an extra dessert to try and keep pace with the SEC accepted policy of one Escalade per player. Byers reminds me of RH Tig, another Northwestern High School great who went on to an amazing career at Clemson, albeit one of sex, drugs, and rock and roll instead of football, but greatness nonetheless.
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