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Replies: 50
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Jounge Question
May 21, 2013, 11:41 AM
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My wife and I are going to my cousins wedding in southern Indiana this weekend. My wife and I will be staying at my grandma's house, along with my mom and dad. What BAC level do I need to maintain in order to keep from murdering one of my family members, and how should I go about achieving this while my grandma and mom count each beer a drink, and start beaching at me after 4? I will pass this information along to my wife and dad, as they will be in the same boat.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Mistake #1: Not posting pics of grams.
May 21, 2013, 11:43 AM
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Mistake #2: Not getting a hotel room
Solution: Kiester a flask.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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No hotel options unless I want to drive 45 minutes
May 21, 2013, 11:45 AM
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This wedding is in the middle of nowhere. Also, the wedding won't be the problem, it's going to be the 4 days I spend stuck in my grandma's house, which is about 30-40 minutes from civilization.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Mistake #3: Staying 4 days in the same state as family.***
May 21, 2013, 11:46 AM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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I'm with you on this one
May 21, 2013, 11:49 AM
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I live about 16 hours away from everyone in my family. This is the yearly return to the mother land to see everyone.
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CU Medallion [67846]
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Esp southern Indiana
May 21, 2013, 11:50 AM
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The town my grandma lives in doesn't even have a post office, and is mostly populated by her family members. The good news is her nearest neighbor is about a mile away. I'm hoping to spend 4 days fishing (but it never works out like that).
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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Where in southern Indiana?***
May 21, 2013, 12:03 PM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Huntingburg / Jasper
May 21, 2013, 12:07 PM
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Almost in Kentucky.
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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Mrs Tig is from just outside Evansville.
May 21, 2013, 12:17 PM
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Newburgh is where she grew up, which is on the river. When you stick your foot in the Ohio River, you ARE in Kentucky. Been up there many times. Good hard-working American country-folk.
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All-TigerNet [12270]
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Orange Blooded [2762]
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Cooler hidden outside...then when you get 1 drink out of
May 21, 2013, 11:44 AM
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refrigerator, they only saw you get the 1 drink.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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^^^This. Tell them you're going outside to blaze a J
May 21, 2013, 11:46 AM
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and then drink a beer while you're doing it. They'll never catch on.
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CU Guru [1404]
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Great minds.***
May 21, 2013, 11:47 AM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Probably just be eating Xanax like M&M's
May 21, 2013, 11:47 AM
[ in reply to ^^^This. Tell them you're going outside to blaze a J ] |
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We have to fly, so there will be no J blazing unless I can find a patch growing wild...or if one of my cousins is holding...which is a possibility.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Solution: Keister an ounce***
May 21, 2013, 11:48 AM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Flying makes me nervous enough
May 21, 2013, 11:51 AM
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Keistering and ounce, while a decent solution would only contribute to my terror.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Solution: Make your wife Kiester and ounce.
May 21, 2013, 11:56 AM
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Women are built for this stuff.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Also, my grandma calls J's left handed cigaretts
May 21, 2013, 11:56 AM
[ in reply to ^^^This. Tell them you're going outside to blaze a J ] |
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She asked me if I smoked left handed cigaretts once, and I had no idea what she was talking about. I told her I usually smoked with my right hand.
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CU Guru [1404]
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All-In [38925]
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I always use the "I'm a little gassy tonight" excuse.***
May 21, 2013, 11:52 AM
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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Man, just drink Jack and Coke all week.
May 21, 2013, 11:56 AM
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Then you'll only get fussed at for soda intake.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Gin and tonic. Tell them its water.***
May 21, 2013, 11:57 AM
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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Also works.***
May 21, 2013, 11:58 AM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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I'm assuming that's what my dad will be going with
May 21, 2013, 11:58 AM
[ in reply to Gin and tonic. Tell them its water.*** ] |
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I'll probably just set up a bar in the trunk of the rental car.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Don't forget to Kiester a cocktail shaker and a couple of
May 21, 2013, 12:00 PM
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limes.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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I thought that was my wife's job
May 21, 2013, 12:01 PM
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An ounce, a shaker and a couple of limes.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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I thought the whole point was to hide your alcoholism
May 21, 2013, 12:03 PM
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from your wife
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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My wife lives with me, she is well aware of my alcoholism
May 21, 2013, 12:06 PM
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She usually drinks with me. It's my mom and grandma that get on my case.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Bro, don't carry an ounce, that's felony territory...
May 21, 2013, 12:09 PM
[ in reply to I thought that was my wife's job ] |
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Even a half an ounce will probably get you an intent to distribute charge.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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I don't care if he goes to jail or not, I just want him
May 21, 2013, 12:11 PM
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to go through the process of putting something in his ######## for a few hours.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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If you're scared of getting caught w/ weed, you could
May 21, 2013, 12:14 PM
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hollow out a 6" diameter buttplug, fill it with weed, and kiester that.
They'll just think you're weird.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Well, see that all depends...
May 21, 2013, 12:15 PM
[ in reply to Yea, an ounce is a little much ] |
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Are you going to be stuck with rolling joints, or do you have a pipe? If you're rolling joints, you'll need at least a half o, a pipe you could probably get by with a quarter. Are you smoking high grade or swag(there is no such thing as mids anymore)? All of these variables come into play when you're planning how much pot you need to take with you.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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I smoke good
May 21, 2013, 12:19 PM
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Also, I have all the necessary smoking implements.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Oh, word? Sorry, I had mistaken you for an amateur.***
May 21, 2013, 12:25 PM
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Seasoned Vet (allegedly)
May 21, 2013, 12:32 PM
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I'm just lazy about it now. If it shows up at my house, it's all good, but I don't go looking for it.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Nut up and drink as much as you want when you want...
May 21, 2013, 12:08 PM
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This is America, and I'm assuming you're a man...Do what you want.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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If only it were that simple
May 21, 2013, 12:14 PM
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I will drink as much as I want, but I want to do it without getting beached at constantly. When my mom and grandma team up it's like an unholy alliance of nagging.
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All-In [30195]
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Just throw on this shirt and they'll beach about that
May 21, 2013, 12:16 PM
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instead of the drinking
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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You've obviously done it wrong...
May 21, 2013, 12:17 PM
[ in reply to If only it were that simple ] |
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I've conditioned my mom to my bad behavior throughout the years, so when I drink too much it's really not a surprise.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Oh, she's not surprised
May 21, 2013, 12:20 PM
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She generally expects it, but it doesn't keep her from beaching about it. It's worse now that I only see her when I'm on "vacation" and I ratchet up my drinking to vacation levels.
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All-In [29036]
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Where in Indiana?
May 21, 2013, 12:15 PM
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I'm up in Indianapolis, and I assure you there are tons of places to get drinks.
In fact there's a brewery tasting room 39 steps from my front door. I've counted.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Way southern Indiana
May 21, 2013, 12:22 PM
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We fly into Louisville instead of Indianapolis. It's literally in the middle of no where. I spend a summer with my grandma, and the nearest bar is 45 minutes away from her house (luckily you can get there on back roads).
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CU Medallion [67846]
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Re: Way southern Indiana- funny Indiana story
May 21, 2013, 12:28 PM
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Bear Qb Cutler's dad is from Chesterton in NW Ind. When he jointed the state troopers he asked to transfer to Santa Clause in southern Indiana. His reasoning he did not want to be giving DUI's to his old high school buddies
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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My cousin played with Jay Cutler in High School
May 21, 2013, 12:31 PM
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They won a state championship his senior year. Didn't realize Cutler's dad was a cop.
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All-In [45047]
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How many times in HS was he unable to play due to his
May 21, 2013, 12:49 PM
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lingering yeast infection? Or did that not start happening until he went to the Bears?
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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He was a stud in high school
May 21, 2013, 12:57 PM
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Of course Heritage Hills is a small school. They won the state championship on a WR throw back to Cutler for a T.D. I think playing at Vandy knocked some of the toughness out of him.
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All-In [47841]
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New Albany? New Washington? Otisco?
May 21, 2013, 1:40 PM
[ in reply to Way southern Indiana ] |
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Wife has family in the area.
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Huntingburg / Jasper / Pikeville / Velpen
May 21, 2013, 1:48 PM
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Huntingburg and Jasper are actually towns. I will be in Pikeville at my Grandma's farm. If you know anything about the Huntingburg / Jasper area, then you probably know at least one of my relatives.
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Ring of Honor [32958]
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Pfffttt. Skip the beer. Using their logic, just drink
May 21, 2013, 12:43 PM
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liquor by the 1/5. 2 o r 3 drinks will be plenty...
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