Breaking News From ESPIN - 2021 Football Season

Jun 11, 2021, 10:22 AM

Progressive Non-Sports Related Topics for Inclusion in Gameday:

1) Interview w/double reverse transgender person who now identifies as a Pokeman and is wanting to compete in the Special Olympics because they think all people are Special

2) Expose of local High School teacher who gave a 1/16th Norwegian student a B+ for scoring an 89% on their mid-term

3) Story about 3 Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel members who were detained near Laredo, TX smuggling 72 children in 55gal trash bags by floating them across the Rio Grande. These 3 individuals were not provided Gluten free meals in the detention center and were denied the opportunity to watch Sabado Gigante

4) 6-Part series where Stephen A. Smith rants about imaginary perceived social justice issues and teaches Caucasians to be less white and then berates them for appropriating other cultures traditions

5) A feel good story story where X-Box gamers forced by their parents to clean their rooms and only partake in 18 hours a day of screen time are given new Jewel Vape Pens and free grief counselling

6) A special on top WBNA players and how, despite the abysmal level of play and entertainment, they should be paid like already overpaid NBA players

7) Same as 6 just insert US Women's Soccer and how they should be paid like NFL players

8) Roll out of a new ESPN CFB Power Ranking System that automatically puts all SEC teams into the top 20 until they lose 7 games

9) A piece on Reece Davis' hair care routine and techniques from Herbie on frosting your tips

10) A Division III tailgating special from Liberal Arts schools on Tailgating Green, Vegan and Organic