No amount of my pissedoffery, anger, or sadness will help my father in law. He's just gone. My sons will not remember him fondly, they'll only remember that he smelled and was a general pain in the ###. They won't remember the good man that used to be there. Eff this mother effin' disease. I'm not a person to hate, but hate this disease.
Old man's goin' to the nursing home at 69 yrs of age. Early on set Alzheimer's, diagnosed when he was 55. Years ago, I thought I'd be happy when the burden was lifted, but I can now only see a shell of a good man and the complete and utter devastation it's left in my family. I hate this, I hate it all.
I only hope, when my sons grow older, they can see it as parents that did a good thing by taking care of family and not see it as a childhood that lost too much innocence. Maybe it will help make them better men, forgiving men, men that know the value of family and love. I hate the ^^^^ out of this and right now I feel like I wasted 10 years of my family's life.
The anger will fade, I will be with my wife and try to comfort her. And I hope when I die, my God will say, "It's OK, you did the best you could. Everybody is OK, now."