Replies: 27
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All-In [27943]
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I know how JFB's story ends, and it's a good one.
Apr 28, 2022, 10:48 AM
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Cut to CinemaCon. A Con of cinema ongoing in Las Vegas. On stage there is the goddess Olivia "Thirteen" Wilde. In the middle of her talk, she is served with custody papers by a real ##### of a process server. This, of course, was an accident of the process server's making because no way Ted Lasko intended for that to happen. Nonetheless, it's a real embarrassing moment -- like Will Smith taking out his marriage problems on Chris Rock embarrassing -- but remember Wilde is a goddess so she handles it with aplomb.
But JFB knows the real pain hiding underneath, as he was just served at Texas Roadhouse. In the words of James Franco speaking to the North Korean people in his Kim Jong biopic:
"We are different people. We speak different languages. We have different faces. But inside, we are same-same. Same-same, but different."
JFB and Oliva Wilde are very different, but in this moment, they are same-same.
Being the good man that he is, he slides into Wilde's DM with purely the noblest of intentions. No scheming. Just wants to let her know she's not alone in this post-divorce world, and more than that, that she will get through being served in a real shattie situation. He says, "I just got served at Texas Roadhouse by my ex. It sucks, but you're not alone. Take care 13."
She responds back, "Is that a theater in the round in Austin? Oh my! Thank you for letting me know your story. My soul is healing thanks to you."
They start up a conversation in which JFB explains to Wilde that Texas Roadhouse is not a theater in the round in Austin, but a fine establishment where you get bread that is next to god. Casually, as the conversation advances, he invites her to dine.
She accepts.
Sparks fly.
He gets it in, and all of a sudden it is Jason who? Hollywood what? I need the common man.
JFB seals the deal. Puts a ring on it. Lives happily ever after.
Lacey remains alone in her anger, knowing she will never be able to bring JFB down now that he has it all. Especially his happiness.
The end.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10763575/Jason-Sudeikis-slammed-serving-Olivia-Wilde-custody-papers-stage.html
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Oculus Spirit [86922]
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I saw this article this morning and thot of JFB
Apr 28, 2022, 10:53 AM
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then you went and took it to the 4th floor.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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I mean, would Sudakis even be able to dictate when papers
Apr 28, 2022, 10:55 AM
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were served? Seems like he would be completely separate from that kind of thing.
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All-In [44347]
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LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
Apr 28, 2022, 10:57 AM
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IF LACEY CAN HAVE JFB SERVED AT TEJAS ROADHOUSE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
I still wonder what kind of freak Lacey can be after a couple of white claws and rips from her juul though. That and no one seems to want to tell me anything about her tiddies and that's disappointing.
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All-In [36450]
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I loled.
Apr 28, 2022, 12:51 PM
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Thanks for that
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CU Medallion [66968]
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No bovine feces, bruh
Apr 28, 2022, 2:45 PM
[ in reply to LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ] |
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just a nice cleavage shot would tide me over until at 5:30 tonight
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All-In [27943]
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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I don't read articles.***
Apr 28, 2022, 11:04 AM
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All-In [47045]
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Is she really a switch hitter like 13?
Apr 28, 2022, 10:57 AM
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if so, this story needs a lot more detail
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All-In [27943]
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Re: Is she really a switch hitter like 13?
Apr 28, 2022, 11:01 AM
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soon
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Heisman Winner [137935]
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And the ultimate feel good part of the story is JFBs
Apr 28, 2022, 11:01 AM
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current wife doesn’t care because she’s as much in love with Olivia as he is
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CU Medallion [60327]
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I know nothing about this stuff, but I'm gonna guess
Apr 28, 2022, 11:06 AM
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that this "server" person had tried several times prior and Wilde's security or entourage had prevented him/her from getting within 50 feet of her. So this was the only chance to be able to get to her unprotected.
I've never been served with something like this but I hear tales about people who know something like this is coming going to great lengths to avoid and elude the serving of legal papers.
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110%er [7211]
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CU Medallion [54759]
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I would drink her bath water***
Apr 28, 2022, 11:09 AM
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All-In [27943]
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That's a lunger's wife. Show some respect!***
Apr 28, 2022, 11:22 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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He's right.
Apr 28, 2022, 1:57 PM
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I would take her used tarpon and steep a tea with it and her dirty bath water.
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All-In [27943]
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Well, tea is a sign of respect in some cultures...***
Apr 28, 2022, 2:00 PM
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All-In [46473]
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Groce.*******
Apr 28, 2022, 2:02 PM
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All-In [27943]
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I think it's pronounced, "Greece."***
Apr 28, 2022, 2:04 PM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Tell me about it, Stud!
Apr 28, 2022, 2:07 PM
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All-In [46473]
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All-In [27943]
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Well, for starters, that's its nickname.
Apr 28, 2022, 2:44 PM
[ in reply to Tell me about it, Stud! ] |
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Cause it measures 2x4.
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All-In [36450]
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First of all… who TF are you?.
Apr 28, 2022, 3:20 PM
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Noob
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All-In [27943]
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Paul Mooney***
Apr 28, 2022, 3:29 PM
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Heisman Winner [136343]
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Noob, LOL.
Apr 28, 2022, 4:37 PM
[ in reply to First of all… who TF are you?. ] |
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Believe it or not, Jimmy was a visitor to an RH Tig tailgate before Dabo won his first Natty.
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All-In [27943]
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Jimmy held the baby Renfrow, if that dates me.***
Apr 28, 2022, 4:39 PM
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Rock Defender [58]
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Makes sense,
Apr 28, 2022, 5:24 PM
[ in reply to Noob, LOL. ] |
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If you stuck his D a little harder maybe he will ### for you,
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All-In [32828]
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Stuck it where ? It's important.
Apr 28, 2022, 5:33 PM
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And then conjugate 15 different verbs - one of which must be "stick".
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Replies: 27
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