It’s nearly football season. You’re almost there.
What does that mean for you and your family? If you’re lucky, it means your family knows its place for the next few months.
Hand them a Clemson schedule and they should get the idea real quick that cutting the grass, fixing up the house -- whatever needs to be done -- will have to wait until an open week.
In some cases it won’t make them happy, but that’s the breaks.
Hopefully, you’re in a situation where your wife or significant other understands the importance of Clemson football.
In that case what you do is hand her a copy of this list – the 19 things that any woman can do to get her husband/boyfriend ready for Clemson football season.
No. 1 is easy, so you should expect an immediate response.
If you don’t, just remind her of all those times she has said she never knows what to get you for your birthday, Christmas, etc. And, now, the one time you put something in writing, telling her what she can do for you during such a special time of the year, she balks?
Anyway, if she doesn’t understand the list, tell her that she just needs to do it and ask questions later.
And feel free to add your own needs to this list. This is just for starters. There are plenty of individual needs out there that need to be taken care of before Clemson visits Georgia on August 31. This is just a list of the most common ones.
Contributions to the list are in the running for a free subscription to Tiger Insider magazine. And if she hasn’t picked up on it, a copy of Tiger Insider would get anyone ready for football season.
19 things the woman in your life and your family can do to help you get ready for football season:
Bark like a dog to get you ready for the rabid Georgia fans
Wash your stadium cups by hand (this should already be occurring since you never should put these in the dishwasher)
Press your orange overalls
Drive to Clemson while you’re at work to be sure your seat has been pressure washed.
Place special toilet paper in the dispenser with a picture of the Georgia logo on every tissue (she’ll have to figure out where to get this, but that’s what a dedicated partner would do).
Be sure that there are copies of the 2002 media guide in every bathroom (you never know where nature will call).
Drive around the block to imitate the busses coming around the stadium to The Hill while you watch and well up with tears.
Read aloud from the book “Clemson Tigers – From 1896 To Glory”, by Lou Sahadi, every night as you drift off to sleep.
Call Phil Kornblut’s show and accuse him of being a “chicken loving, usc grad with nothing but contempt for Clemson.”
Write special notes to all the coaches telling them how much it would mean to you and your family to win at Georgia.
Thinking ahead…take a second job in order to increase the IPTAY contribution to $1000 to get better parking. Either that or cut down on the clothes budget to accomplish this.
Read to the kids every morning and evening out of the media guide.
Sit down and smile while listening as your guy describes his ten most memorable Clemson football games (do this over the span of several meals since it could take a while).
Don’t mention basketball (this is a must to keep your guy in a good mood).
Learn all the Clemson cheers and at least once a day start a “One, Two, Three, Four…” cheer in the house to lighten the mood on those days when the waiting seems to be getting the best of your guy. (A Clemson cheerleader uniform is recommended but optional here. Use discretion.)
Accept the fact that orange looks good and when accented with the right shade of purple can actually be an aphrodisiac for your guy.
Invite the Clemson cheerleaders to the house for a cookout.
Remind him what a great person he is for making sure that all Georgia fans are reminded of what happened in ’86 and ’87. (If you don’t know what happened then, please borrow his videotaped copy of the game.)
In the this issue of Tiger Insider, the only independent magazine devoted to Clemson Sports:
- It's been a long three years for Willie Simmons, but it's finally his turn.
- Former Clemson player Frank Wise suffers from leukemia and his case has made national news. He spends time these days surrounded by the friends he made over 25 years ago and surrounded by the memories of those days, even if Clemson didn't have that much success on the field.
- Everything you wanted to know about Clemson's schedule…the fine details about everyone from Louisiana Tech to South Carolina.
- Clemson vs. Georgia. We live for such games in the South.
- A 14-page full-color look at the players that make up the two-deep depth chart. Find out the skinny on each player and take a look at the players in action.
- Dan Scott breaks down the team position by position.
- Jim Baxter of scvarsity.com takes a look at the top recruits in South Carolina and the region.
- This past spring's football practice ended with plenty of questions. Dan Scott tackles each one of the questions and while he doesn't answer each one, he gives us plenty to think about.
- David Harry takes a look at each ACC team.
- Derrick Hamilton is a tough interview. He's even tougher to catch on the field. Find out what he were able to get out of the future superstar Clemson receiver. We guarantee he gave us more than he gives the opposition.
- Mark Packer lives the life. He watches college football and talks about college football and gets paid to do both. Get an inside look at what he calls the Southern Fried Football Tour, which takes him across the Southeast. If you've never seen it, and even if you have, you'll never believe it.
Fourth Anniversary Special
Buy a subscription and you’ll get your very own 5” x 7” photo of Clemson coach Tommy Bowden with former Clemson coach Danny Ford (Frank Howard was there, but our camera couldn’t capture him on film). It’s a photo that’s suitable for framing. You’ll be amazed at the quality and there’s not another photo like it anywhere. You’ll get our special offer if you’re a new subscriber, or if you renew. Don’t worry if you have a few issues left. Renew today and we’ll add the issues to your current subscription.