Pigskin Prophet: Safe Spaces Bowl Game Edition
|Saturday, December 24, 2016 8:01 AM- -|
The Pigskin Prophet is back for the holidays, fresh off a stint of offering a safe haven to South Carolina fans who needed safety pins, puppies to pet and safe rooms to get over the recent losses to Clemson.
Part of the process is giving them a reason to go on, a reason to realize that life isn’t miserable, and so we bought them University of Alabama football shirts and UNC basketball shirts to try and get them back in the right frame of mind. It helped, as plenty of them have since gone back out into the real world with shouts of “GO SEC” and “ROLL TIDE” with a smile on their face. In the meantime, there are bowl games to play, and the Pigskin Prophet has a few to comment on. You can read them, or you can enjoy your Christmas Eve with your family. And if you married well below your station and have South Carolina fans in your family, just give them a hug and talk about Bear Bryant. It will go a long way this holiday season.
Part of the process is giving them a reason to go on, a reason to realize that life isn’t miserable, and so we bought them University of Alabama football shirts and UNC basketball shirts to try and get them back in the right frame of mind. It helped, as plenty of them have since gone back out into the real world with shouts of “GO SEC” and “ROLL TIDE” with a smile on their face.
In the meantime, there are bowl games to play, and the Pigskin Prophet has a few to comment on. You can read them, or you can enjoy your Christmas Eve with your family. And if you married well below your station and have South Carolina fans in your family, just give them a hug and talk about Bear Bryant. It will go a long way this holiday season.
Now on to some picks.
Hawaii vs. Middle Tennessee St. in the Hawai’i Bowl
Let’s face it. This bowl game doesn’t suck because the poor kids who live in Tennessee got to spend a week in Hawaii. Heck, give me a press pass and some spending money, and I will cover this game. BLUE RAIDERS 38, RAINBOW WARRIORS 30
Miami (OH) vs. Mississippi St. in the St. Petersburg Bowl
This game is awful. Miss St. made it into a bowl game with just five wins, even though two of those were against FCS foes Samford and South Carolina and woeful UMass. However, they did end the season on a high note, with a win over the best team money can buy in Ole Miss, and should continue to win and get to six wins. MISS ST. 34, MIAMI (OH) 20
Maryland vs. Boston College in the Quick Lane Bowl
This game is at Ford Field in Detroit, and there will be tens and tens of fans in attendance as the two former ACC foes go at it. Maryland wins because they will wear those awful flag uniforms, causing the Eagle players to short circuit. MARYLAND 31, BOSTON COLLEGE 27
Vanderbilt vs. NC State in the Camping World Independence Bowl
Shreveport. Vandy and NC State. Yawn. At least it’s college football of a sort. Vandy did well at the end of the season against the terrible – did I say terrible – SEC East, but now they take on ACC team, and it won’t end well. NC STATE 27, VANDY 21
Temple vs. Wake Forest in the Military Bowl
Temple will win this game, and they didn’t have to pull a Louisville and steal the Demon Deacons gameplans to do it. It turns out Temple is just a little bit better. Of course, everybody says that when they play Wake Forest, who would still win the SEC East by two games. TEMPLE 32, WAKE FOREST 20
Pittsburgh vs. Northwestern in the New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Hey, this is another game I would love to attend, simply because it’s in Yankee Stadium. You can stay in Manhattan and take the MTA to 161st St., get off the train and ask either Tony or Guido for directions (they will be the ones wearing the gold chains). When you get to the McDonalds under the subway system, ignore the gunfire and gang signs and cross the street to Yankee Stadium. Then leave, as fast as possible. PITTSBURGH 35, NORTHWESTERN 27
West Virginia vs. Miami in the Russell Athletic Bowl
The Mullet leads his squad of goons into Orlando for the RAB, and they take on Mark Richt and his band of reformed convicts. The ex-convicts played well at times this season, and the Neers did well except for when they played real teams. Miami is a real team and they are used to the weather in Florida. Close one for the reformers….MIAMI 30, WEST VIRGINIA 27
South Florida vs. South Carolina in the Birmingham Bowl
One of these has developed speed, an explosive offense and a quarterback that makes plays all over the field. The other team is South Carolina. The Bulls’ Quinton Flowers will run over, around, and through the porous South Carolina defense, while the Gamecocks try to figure out which shattered-psyche of a quarterback to run the offense. This one actually has the potential to get ugly, and I am thinking it will. After the loss, their players will say, “Never Again.” That will be mostly true, because Charlie Strong will have the Bulls pointing upward in no time, while Will Muschamp will suffer lip bleeds. SOUTH FLORIDA 56, SOUTH CAROLINA 7
Arkansas vs. Virginia Tech in the Belk Bowl
Oh, the good old Belk Bowl. Arkansas, which starts out every season ranked in the top ten because, you know, fat coach in the SEC West who talks a lot and then winds up trying to get to .500, takes on a wounded Virginia Tech in the bowl game I would pay people to not go to. Seriously. Tech pulls it out in a close one. TECH 27, ARKANSAS 24
Georgia vs. TCU in the Liberty Bowl
Nothing says average like the Liberty Bowl. The Bulldogs will try and find their offense while TCU tries to find its groove. The Bulldogs have made more headlines in recruiting – both good and bad – than they have on the football field this season, while TCU’s mantra has been, “Hey, at least we aren’t Baylor.” TCU in a close one over the ugly puppies. HEY WE AREN’T BAYLOR 30, GEORGIA 28
Stanford vs UNC in the Sun Bowl
Both teams had high hopes to begin the season, but Stanford started out and finished strong while UNC started out strong and finished bad. Stanford will be without star running back Christian McCaffrey, who pulled a Steve Spurrier and bailed on his team just when they need him the most. Stanford is physical and likes to run the football, while Larry Fedora likes to make really stupid coaching decisions once the games start. Stanford wins, and UNC is shocked when they send several letters of response to the NCAA after and get no response. STANFORD 31, UNC 27
Michigan vs. Florida St. in the Orange Bowl
I’m gonna go against the national narrative here and pick Florida St. They locked up head coach Jimbo Fisher recently to a long-term contract – the only Seminole to ever get locked up in Tallahassee – and I think they have more speed than Michigan, which features a lot of big farm boys with names like Butt and Petrozniski and Krankowski and, well, you get the picture. I think the Seminoles put the clamps on Michigan’s tepid offense and score enough to pull out the win in Dalvin Cook’s last hurrah. FSU 24, MICHIGAN 17
LSU vs Louisville in the Citrus Bowl
Louisville has already formally protested the outcome of this game. First, they didn’t get to steal LSU’s game plan, which put them behind in preparation, and then they heard that the guy who fixes the lights at the Citrus Bowl once watched an LSU game on TV, which means they have their backs against the wall from the start. There is also a rumor that one of LSU’s former volleyball players turned down Bobby Petrino’s overtures on “that special ride you get with a coach” and it becomes obvious the fates are just against Louisville. LSU 34, LOUUHVULL 27
Washington vs. Alabama in the Peach Bowl
Washington has a nice little team, and they play a distinct brand of football that works really well on the West Coast. That brand will not work against Alabama, which will have the benefit of thousands of Gamecock fans rooting for them. Bama rolls. BAMA 41, WASHINGTON 21
Ohio St vs. Clemson in the Fiesta Bowl
Both of these teams played in University of Phoenix Stadium last season, and both have played in the College Football Playoff. Both are really good and have talented quarterbacks and stingy defenses. I’ll take the team with the better quarterback. CLEMSON 27, OHIO ST. 24
SPECIAL NOTE:If you are a South Carolina fan and feel like you need a safe space or someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to call our help line. The number is 1-800-567-6260. We have plenty of Alabama shirts still available, and we have counselors standing by to help you with your SEC cadence, which should help you get back into rhythm. Again, that’s 1-800-567-6260.