Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca

by -

Dear Mike Binaca of the Orlando Sentiment,

I truly hate to see another human being in the throes of some kind of mental breakdown, and I trust and hope that the editors and human resources personnel at the Orlando Sentiment pay for you to get the help you need.

In case you missed it, Mr. Biangi, obviously in the middle of some sort of episode that caused the flow of oxygen to his brain to be interrupted, wrote this extremely well thought-out (not really) and fact-laden (nope, not really again) column….here.

In his column, Mr. Branca wrote that the feared Florida St. Seminoles were poised to not only win the ACC this season, but for years to come. His reasoning seemed to be along the lines of…… FSU players are now allowed to wear hats, so they are destined to be ACC Champions.

Honestly, I get it. Florida St. announced they were back to the nation in the ACC Championship Game – attended by several people – when they barely escaped an average and .500 Georgia Tech team by a whopping 21-15.

They once again thrilled the nation – again in front of several people, at least 10 of which cared – when they beat a Northern Illinois team 31-10 in the Orange Bowl. Yessir, those are the kinds of games that announce and herald the coming of a superpower.

One other “fact” that Mr. Bianca Jagger used to support his theory of impending Florida St. dominance is the fact that little Bimbo Fisher is a Nick Saban disciple. That’s great. Awesome. I grew up in a Christian household, and Jesus had 12 disciples, and one thing is for certain – none of them were Jesus.

Mr. Jagger authoritatively states that the Seminoles are SEC-esque. I agree with that statement wholeheartedly. Why? Because like every other team in that conference and every other team in the nation, they wish they were Alabama. Only Alabama is Alabama. SEC-esque could mean like Kentucky, correct? Or Miss St.? Or, gulp, Missouri? Vanderbilt?

Could it be Florida St.’s outstanding non-conference schedule last season of Murray St., Savannah St. and South Florida, in addition to the Florida game? This year they have Idaho, Nevada and Bethune-Cookman. Yeah, that is playing the big boys Jimbo!! Go for it!

Maybe he means that Fisher’s clubs have done so well against the SEC they should be considered for induction into that league as an honorary member. Let’s see, last year there was a 37-26 loss to a Florida team that couldn’t score on a free hooker. The same Florida team that was embarrassed by Louisville in the bowl game. Maybe that is what he means.

Well, I have a number for Mr. Jagger or Binaca or whatever he is – Zero. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

That is the exact number of career passing yards for projected quarterback starter Jameis Winston. Clemson starter Tajh BoydTajh Boyd
RS Sr. Quarterback
#10 6-1, 225
Hampton, VA

View Full Profile
has thrown for 8,053 yards in his career. Winston won’t make up that kind of ground against Bethune-Cookman.

Oh, and before you go ahead and hang all of those future ACC banners in Doke Camel Stadium, please take note of the fact that Clemson has actually won six of the past ten contests between the two schools, and Florida St. hasn’t won in Death Valley since 2001.

Unlike Mr. Binaca, however, I won’t throw a prediction out there. Let’s just let the games play out and hang the banners AFTER the games have been won. Perhaps he will be out of therapy by then.

Pigskin "Your Daddy" Prophet

Rate this Story:
105 votes

Send Feedback to TigerNet Staff: Email | Comment
Post your comments!
Subject (Replies: 32) Author
Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
TigerNet News
Fact is, nobody in the country does less with more
Careful, people will come in and rip you for saying things
No doubt.***
Smiling Tiger®
I have been waiting for this almost ....
I beg to differ
TX Tiger®
Mike Bianicana, u sir just got owned...
Re: Mike Bianicana, u sir just got owned...
Don't want to BE like Bama.... want to BEAT them.***
Someone PLEASE forward this to the Orlando Sentinel.***
Re: Someone PLEASE forward this to the Orlando Sentinel.***
I can't hide it ...
Re: I can't hide it ...
It will be interesting to revisit his pages when...
Thank you and well said u can add
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Orange Lightning
Hey Binaca, grab
FSU is SEC-esque
You ain't playin on my emotions!
"a 37-26 loss to a Florida team that couldn't score on a free hooker"
Hey Binaca....
Re: Hey Binaca....
This is gold, Jerry! Gold!***
I had an email retort as well...
Tiger Diesel®
In tha FAAAAAAACE!!!***
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
HAHA!! I loved the line about Jesus' disciples
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca

On the road with 5-star offensive lineman Jackson Carman

Photos: Clemson vs. Louisville

Swinney talks stomach virus effect on Clemson football

Robbie Tinsley: Despite losses, Tigers keep winning

Kelly Bryant named to 'Great 8' QB award

Father of Xavier Thomas details his son's recruitment

Wallace: "Our preparation is like no other"

Leave No Doubt: Swinney's message heard loud and clear in romp over Cards

WATCH: Simmons discusses stepping in at safety
Sign Up for E-Mail News Alerts
Daily Digest