Pigskin Prophet: Put Me on the Playoff Committee Edition |
The Pigskin Prophet might be changing jobs. At least I hope so.
The initial College Football Playoff Rankings came out earlier this week and while I wasn’t shocked by what I saw, I was a little dismayed. There sat Playoff chair Rob Mullens, on my TV looking like some Alfred E. Neuman knockoff, grinning like had just smoked all the weed in Portland. Mullens and his committee are supposed to find the four BEST teams in the top four each week. The BEST four. Instead, he showed the committee (at least for now) is more about TV ratings and creating drama than finding the best four. Instead of telling us who the best four are, he told us how Penn State’s defense had done so well against the tractor pull offenses in the Big 10. He told us how Alabama had been so dominant against Sister Sadie Dinkins and her Sunday School Class. When asked about Clemson, he brought up the schedule (what about Bama?) and glossed over the fact that Clemson’s defense was more dominant than Penn State’s. As a result, I had my lawyer contact the Playoff Committee and ask if I can take the place of Ken Hatfield. Old Ken is a former Clemson coach who harbors no kind will towards the Tigers yet sits on the committee. He doesn’t have to rescues himself when the Tigers are brought up because he has no current ties to the school. We will see what happens. Maybe Grumpy Ken will get released. MARYLAND AT OHIO ST. Yikes. The same Maryland team that boatraced Syracuse gets to go to The Muleshoe (I’ve seen their Big 10 speed). This one will get ugly and get ugly in a hurry. Because, you know, Big 10. OHIO ST. 63, STATEFLAGUNIFORMCHAOS 16 PENN ST. AT MINNESOTA Penn State and its plodding 52-ranked offense travels to Minnesota and its 47-ranked offense for a showdown of unbeatens. I kind of want to pick Minnesota here – they are rowing the boat and doing it in fine fashion, but they have yet to be tested. Penn St. will limit the Gopher running attack (do Gopher’s run?) and make them throw the ball (which they don’t do very well). True story – the original Gopher mascot wasn’t a gopher, it was a 13-lined ground squirrel but still called a Gopher. Who knew? PENN ST. 27, SQUIRRELS 23 FLORIDA ST. AT BOSTON COLLEGE FSU didn’t give old Willie Taggart much wiggle room. His vapid press conferences and seemingly indifferent sideline demeanor spelled doom from the outset, and now the ‘Noles have to try and regroup on The Heights. It will be cold, and Boston College will run, run, and then run some more as the day gets colder. Meanwhile, Willie will be sitting in the Bahamas with a vapid look on his face, sipping a tropical drink counting the $17 million reasons he’s glad he’s not in Boston. BC 34, FSU 27 LSU AT ALABAMA THE GAME OF THE CENTURY is being played for the 134th time in the last ten years, so forgive me if I’m not Will Muschamp eating his alma mater’s shrubbery excited. Both of these teams are really good, and this should be one of the best games of the season. I am not sure how much I trust Bama’s pass D, or LSU’s run game, or Tua’s ankle. That means there are a lot of unknowns for a game of the century. I think giving both defenses two weeks to prepare will help out some, and I think LSU will present problems for the Bama secondary, which is weaker than Bobby Petrino’s gentlemen’s code. This will be fun. It will be wild. And, in an upset, HOW BOUT DEM TIGAHS BOO BOP BUNDITTY ISTREGH!! LSU 34, BAMA 31 KANSAS ST. AT TEXAS Raise your hand if you used to be Texas football. The Longhorns had high hopes at the start of the season but now need a win just to stay alive for a good bowl destination. The Wildcats are flush with victory and now look to add another notch in their Big 12 belt with a win over the Horns. Texas is favored by almost a touchdown in this one, but these are two teams heading in different directions and I like the Kansas State defense in this one. Sam Ehlinger will get his yards, but it won’t be enough. KANSAS ST. 37, TEXAS 34 WAKE FOREST AT VIRGINIA TECH Here’s the deal. The Florist people are ranked 19th in the College Football Playoff rankings, they have a chance to make next week’s game in Clemson the ACC Atlantic Division Championship, perhaps bring GameDay to TigerTown, and derail Tech’s Coastal chances. That’s why they will lose. The Hokies are getting better defensively, and while the Florist’s are hitting on all cylinders offensively, Tech can make the quarterback uncomfortable. Something tells the crowd will also play a factor. But will they really lose? Or am I reading too much into it? VIRGINIA TECH 30, WAKE FOREST 28 CLEMSON AT NC STATE Oh hello, NC State. So you want a Homecoming opponent so you can wear your cute all-red uniforms? Say hello to an angry Clemson team. The blood-red unis will only tell part of the tale, and stealing towels and complaining about laptops and dealing with State’s drunk and surly fan base won’t pose much of a problem for the Tigers. Dave Doeren will look constipated throughout and an enema in the form of Brent Venables’ defense will only grease the skids, so to speak. CLEMSON 52, NC STATE 13 APP ST. AT SOUTH CAROLINA Speaking of surly and drunk fans, the Mountaineers leave the pure, cold, air of Boone and travel to the industrial wasteland and 80,000 seat drugstore known as Williams-NameYour-Price Stadium. The Neers took it on the chin last week against Georgia Southern but that was because GS runs the option. South Carolina doesn’t run the option. Or run much of an offense. In fact, against teams not named Charleston Southern, the Gamecocks have averaged just 21.65 points per game this season, and they will be around that mark or better Saturday. They get the win to keep flickering bowl hopes alive but it won’t be easy. SOUTH CAROLINA 27, APP ST. 23
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