Pigskin Prophet: LSU's "tainted" money edition


by - Contributor -
Pigskin Prophet: LSU's

I tried to tell ‘em that passing out cash was a bad idea.

In case you missed it, Ed Orgeron’s LSU program self-imposed sanctions this week, a reduction in scholarship that they hope appeases the NCAA overlords who, in truth, have no idea what they’re doing. The Bayou Bengals and Odell Beckham, Jr., have parted ways for at least two seasons after Beckham was spotted handing out actual cash on the field and in the locker room following LSU’s win over Clemson in the title game.

I was contacted by LSU and told to travel down to Baton Rouge to see what I could find out. I was told that there would “probably be nothing to it.” So I went into it knowing I would find some good stuff. We already knew about the payments that the parent of a player received, so I contacted Ed and asked for a meeting in his office.

I got right to the point. “Ed, did you see OBJ handing out cash in the locker room?”

“Fonee ait dat unshee Monpee,” he said. It took me a while, but I finally realized he was trying to tell me it was Monopoly money. I asked Joe Burrow and he laughed and said it was real money. I asked Ja'Marr Chase and he said it was real money. Another player confirmed it was Beckham when he showed me the cash that was handed to him in the locker room.

The cash was in a Ziploc bag and the player wore gloves when he handed it to me. I told him I wasn’t a forensic investigator, but he laughed and told me to look closer. Yep, there was no doubt the money belonged to OBJ. It was covered in poop. And if you don’t understand that, then Google is your friend.

Now, on to the picks.

FRIDAY

Illinois at Wisconsin

The Big Ten is back!!! That means Illinois will be bad, the Badgers will hand it off to the running back 67 times and his 2.2 yards per carry average will vault him to the top of the Heisman conversation. The Wisconsin defense is as good as a defense in the Big Ten can be, and the Illinois offense would be bad in the Southern Conference. WISCONSIN 35, ILLINOIS 13

SATURDAY

SYRACUSE AT CLEMSON

Umm, no. Someone call this off, please. The Urnge lost by 17 to Liberty last week without the help of the pool boy and now travel with a limited roster to take on the monster by the lake. Dabo Swinney took it easy on Georgia Tech last week and let his punter take snaps at quarterback and the Jackets still accused him of running up the score. This week, it will be Jimmy Greenbeans starring under center for the Tigers. CLEMSON 63, SYRACUSE 3

NEBRASKA AT OHIO ST

Thank goodness. Ohio St. can finally stop all the whining and bellyaching and go play a football game. The Buckeyes have had a sore butt since the loss to Clemson last December and have had almost 10 months to chew on the bitter pill of defeat. They get to take it out on Nebraska, which can score points but won’t put up much of a defense against a loaded Ohio St. offense. Just remember, Ohio St. fans, the Huskers aren’t Clemson. Not by a long shot. But enjoy the win. OHIO ST. 44, NEBRASKA 20

NC STATE AT UNC

Well, lookee here, boys. Laptop Dave Doeren and his bunch of wolves are 4-1 and salivating at the chance to take a bite out of the goats in Chapel Hill. The goats traveled down to Tallahassee last weekend and got scalped by the Seminoles, so they are already stinging a little bit from learning that their wide receivers are not very good and their offensive line has more holes than South Carolina’s postseason resume. UNC 41, LAPTOP DAVE 20

ALABAMA AT TENNESSEE

Things are not good on Rocky Top. The quarterback, as we’ve mentioned, is bad. He couldn’t hit the ground if he fell off a ladder – his body would be intercepted – and they get to take on Bammer this week. In the past, Nick Saban had a middlin’ offense and a terrific defense and wore you down with physical play. Now he has no defense whatsoever and a terrific offense that can score on just about anybody. ALABAMA 44, TENNESSEE 21

NOTRE DAME AT PITTSBURGH

The Irish couldn’t find a way to get a touchdown against a pitiful Louisville defense last week, and it’s obvious Ian Book has trouble with the concept of a forward pass. In fact, this version of Book looks worse than the Book we saw in the Cotton Bowl a few years ago. I expect the Irish to put forth a better effort this week against a Pitt team that can’t figure out whether it wants to be good or not. It won’t be great this week. NOTRE DAME 30, PITT 20

SOUTH CAROLINA AT LSU

The Gamecocks defeated a bad Auburn team last weekend despite getting outgained almost 2-to-1 in yardage and earning less first downs and not quite getting to even 300 yards of offense. The defense will be a little easier to score against this week because LSU has tainted money and can’t seem to stop anyone. I am actually shocked that the Tigers are picked to win considering that South Carolina has a ton of momentum after whipping perennial whipping team Vandy and taking advantage of Auburn’s turnover generosity. SOUTH CAROLINA 37, LSU 33

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