Topic: Deer Disgruntled professors
Replies: 1   Last Post: Sep 14, 2016 12:55 PM by: H8nusc®
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Deer Disgruntled professors

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Posted: Dec 15, 2011 12:01 PM

I would be willing to petition and lobby for you to get a significant raise, but you must do the following.

First, you must have at least 85 students in your class, and you are responsible for keeping all of them out of trouble, as well as donating your time to mentor each one every week. Your office door must always be open.

Your new work hours are fron 6:00 am to 10:00 PM, and possibly later. Sorry 70 hour weeks are now your new schedule. You get Sunday mornings off, that is it.
You must fly all over the country, being away from your family to recruit the top student minds to clemson. You must sit in their living rooms and convince their parents to send them to clemson, as well as text them every day, and call them on the phone and talk to their HS teachers at least once a week.

Your students who do go into their desired field, must also earn at least 1 million per year, and at least 70% of them must graduate.

You must be willing to go on television and speak to the media every week. Your life will now be heavily scrutinized, every thing you say will be remembered and you will be criticized in the press constantly should you fall short in any way.

You will have to understand that you may lose your job at any time should your students not perform well on tests. DO not be surprised if their classmates egg your house for this, or call your wife at home and threaten her.

Also understand, that on average, you will be looking for a new job every 3-4 years for reasons outside of your control. You will move a LOT, and will not be able to lay roots at any time in your career, because about 3 in 100 actually last at their institution for more than 10 years a that salary.

You have to find some way to get people to line up out the door every saturday to watch your students. If we do not find it interesting, then the ticket sales that help pay your salary will plummit, and you will be fired, no questions asked.


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Posted: Sep 14, 2016 12:55 PM

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