UPDATED: This is Carolina football 2015 Edition

Nov 23, 2015, 1:58 PM

"They play in the toughest division, in the toughest league in that nation- I don't think Spurrier wins the SEC or the national title. I don't care if he coaches here 400 years!" -Lee Corso
One year at a time Lee. One at a time. Grab your popcorn and get ready to laugh.

January 1st- Tough start to the year as the scar crimson tide lose to Ohio St. No vicarious title again this year.

January 2nd- Columbia Walmarts swamped with bama tshirt returns in exchange for UK hoops shirts.

January 6th- Ruh roh, Arden Key decommits. But that's ok, they claim they didn't really want him.... "we have a loaded class at DL, and Key is too light at 230 to be an every down DE for us, perhaps he wanted to go somewhere where there was less competition." per FGF. DO WHAT?!

January 16th- Oh no! Mark Fields visits Clemson!

January 19th- Mark Fields commits to Clemson...

January 25th- Doh! OL prospect Sam Madden commits to UGA.

January 26th- Kane Whitehurtst transfers.

January 27th- K.J. Brent transfers.

January 30th- Former coot LB Lance Laury arrested for stolen car and two counts of stolen goods. He was operating a chop shop. http://www.wistv.com/story/27985251/former-gamecock-arrested-on-chop-shop-charges

February 2 2015- This was a perhaps the best day of the year! We learned that "Zach Bailey has all-sec written all over him." per Phil Kornblut. Also, we learned that the McCloud guy might not be headed to Clemson also via Phil. Let's not also forget Phil was right on his commitment day projection as well "News not expected to be good tonight for Clemson with McCloud." Boy, that Phil knows his stuff.

February 2nd- CB target Damon Arnette decommits.

February 4th- Signing Day
Damon Arnette commits to Ohio St.
-DE prospect Chauncey Rivers signs with UGA
-LB Davon Durant heads to AzSt
- DT Jozie Milton heads to TCU
-DB Jaire Alexander to UofL

February 9th- Oh no! Humble pie as lady gamecocks lose to UConn 62-87.

February 9th- Jon Hoke named co-defensive coordinator and play-caller. Hoke was a DB coach for the Chicago Bears who finished 30th in pass D. Great hire guys...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGyvEdooGTI

February 13th- Baseball season opens. They still got that to look forward too, right? Things will get better? No, cawks lose to CofC 6-3.

February 13th- Shameik Blackshear arrested for petty larceny.

February 18th- DL Blake McClain leaves school.

February 18th- LB Marquis Roberts leaves school.

February 22nd- Joey Logano wins the Daytona 500, and he lived in GA once, and that's sec country so therefore that's a win for the sec! Way to go Joey! Go Cawks!

February 23rd- Former commit Michael Bowman arrested for theft at a NC Walmart. "On the footage a man was seen using bolt cutters to cut a hole through the fence in the garden section of the Walmart. The man was seen going back into the store, gathering items and then pushing them through the hole out of the store."

February 27th- Baseball vs Clemson! Oops, 11-4 loss.

March 1st- A classic way to start off a month as Victor Hampton was jailed for DWI, speeding, wreckless driving and open container. In fairness, he was only doing 100 in a 55 zone... Investigators said two other men were passengers in Hampton’s vehicle and attempted to hide their weapons under the front passenger seat before the trooper approached them.

March 2nd- Game 3 vs Clemson for the series! Woops, 7-0 Tigers...

March 3rd- Shameik Blackshear's first court date. Going to trial, didn't have to appear. TBA. I'll bet my house that nothing ever becomes of this, mark my words.

March 4th- Another fitting gem for the clowns, check out Kyle Markway's pic- (scroll down to this specific date) Has this dude been drinking? Did they really have to make him look any more hideous than he already is? http://247sports.com/Player/Kyle-Markway-33290/Feeds

March 5th- Major power outage on campus. Finger painting classes canceled.

March 7th- Well, everybody makes mistakes, right? A thief wearing a Gamecocks hat was caught on camera brazenly picking out a $600 Dewalt Drill Combo Pack from the Martinez, GA Lowe’s and leaving the store without paying. Authorities say the man may have been driving a Dodge Ram truck with a South Carolina tag. A disguise you ask? Not hardly...

March 17th- Demetris Summers trial for possession of crack with intent to distribute and possession of a weapon is delayed. More on him later too.

March 24th- Robbery on campus at "Upper Roost Parking Lot." Gosh, I bet that's the first and last time, right....

March 26th- DE Dexter Wideman held from practice again for missing classes.

April 2nd- Well, cameras are everywhere nowadays. Everybody knows that, right? Wrong. A scar student apparently thought it would be a good idea to write a racial slur on a "white board" during a class. The impending picture of the said action went viral on Twitter. Bless her little heart.

April 3rd- One less QB as Brendan Nosovitch transfers.

April 4th- The student who wrote the slur is suspended. UGA, Auburn, and Bama are possible transfer spots.

April 4th- Doom and gloom hits as UK loses in hoops, no vicarious title this year.

April 4th- Lady cawks in Final Four!

April 5th- Lady cawks out of Final Four... parade and national holiday imminent.

April 9th- The Masters Tournament starts. Will Dustin Johnson bring another vicarious title to sec country? We'll see.

April 16th- Way to represent- Columbia, SC bank robber wears scar gamecawk hoodie and jeans. http://www.wach.com/news/story.aspx?list=195158&id=1192056

April 21st- Get me outa here! Hoopster Demetrius Henry to transfer from men's basketball team.

April 30th- Former sec player charged with murdering his girlfriend's son. Former LSU and scar player Steven Singleton arrested by Gwinnett Co Police for felony murder and first degree cruelty to a child. According to police, Singleton laid out his version of what happened that night: Tye was sitting in a chair eating while Singleton was in another room. He heard a thump and then saw Tye on the floor. Tye was unresponsive with his eyes rolled back in his head. When he was carrying Tye to the bathroom, he accidentally hit Tye's head on the wooden door frame. Police say that version of events did not match the child's injuries. The child was put on life support but did not survive.

May 5th- A scar student arrested after her roommates set up a camera and caught her spitting and putting window cleaner in their food. Hayley King is facing charges of unlawful, malicious tampering with human drug product or food. She could face 20 years on the Class C felony charge.

May 5th- Major gas leak in downtown cootlumbia as streets are evacuated and blocked. Unfortunately we weren't lucky enough to have a smoker nearby.

May 5th- Ain't nobody got time for that! Two more hoops players ask to for a release from the men's team.

May 11th- "You are the weakest link." The Houston Texans have had enough and release D.J. Swearinger. Here's a great article bashing him- http://blog.chron.com/ultimatetexans/2015/05/swearingers-release-puts-texans-2013-draft-class-in-the-red/#32862101=0

May 12th- Some JUCO scar commit Ulric Jones takes to Twitter with a bit of a guarantee to rough up Deshaun Watson. Right, cause talking helped them last year too? Look, none of us have ever heard of you and this will probably be the last time we ever do. Deshaun is a household name after last season. Pipe down tough guy.

May 13th- Darth Visor- "We're not pursuing Everett Golson." Well of course not steve, you've never had a black QB unless he was forced into immediate action. And don't act like you have a QB on campus that compares to him or could best him. But that's none of my business... I'm just here to witness the rest of this downfall.

May 15th- What's that smell? RICHLAND COUNTY, SC deputies arrested five people Wednesday after discovering over 300 marijuana plants, drugs, cash and weapons. I guess you'd have to be high to enjoy gamecock athletics. Read more here: http://www.heraldonline.com/news/state/south-carolina/article21085812.html#storylink=cpy

May 18th- WR Kyle Davis decommits from scar. Rated by 24/7 as the number 5 WR, Davis is likely to find a team that actually has a QB.

May 19th- FIRE SOMEBODY! Cootlumbia on fire as baseball team loses in round one of conference tourney. No post season?

May 19th- "Doh!" Hoops prospect Tevin Mack to scar? Not hardly. Mack heads to UT to play for Shaka Smart.

May 23rd- Head for the hills! Three baseball players to leave scar baseball program after a disaster of a season. Two of the three, shortsthop Jordan Gore and catchers Logan Koch, combined to start 75 games last season.

May 24th- "You serious Clark?" scar baseball team doesn't make post season. LOL! Now officially a women's hoops school.

May 27th- USC class of 2019?- "2 SC teens sent to fish, stole firearms from nearby home. The boys’ parents dropped them at a pond to go fishing but they decided to break into a home and steal firearms instead, according to The Herald. They'll fit in with the garnet and black. http://myfox8.com/2015/05/27/2-sc-teens-sent-to-fish-stole-firearms-from-nearby-home/

June 25th- Oh for the love of GOD! Virginia defeats Vandy to win the NCAA baseball championship! STILL no vicarious title this year! Help us!

June 29th- "Welp, atleast we're still making headlines one way or another." John Abraham wanted for assaulting a business associate at The Pink Pony. It's called The Pink Pony, what could possibly go wrong at a fine establishment like that? Plus, Abraham is such a good role model anyway- He was arrested in 2003 on DWI charges on Long Island, N.Y.; in September 2012 on obstruction charges in Atlanta; and in June 2014 on DUI charges in DeKalb County, Ga. http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2015-06-29/john-abraham-wanted-battery-charge-nfl-atlanta-falcons-arizona-cardinals-new-york-jets?eadid=SOC%2FFB%2FSNMain

July 15th- Nick Saban breaks out lame excuses for Alabama's lame finish last season. Spurrier, "Why didn't I think of that?" http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaaf/sec/2015/07/15/alabama-nick-saban-sec-media-days-nfl-draft-grades/30184715/

July 22nd- Coach Spurrier calls a press conference to rant about the media and his enemies. The coach told both players and fans not to listen to his "enemies" and even brought up Attila the Hun as a metaphor, for some strange reason.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARtEIHip4nk
August 10th- CB Wesley Green hits the road amid a "mutual decision to transfer." Green faced academic concerns upon his arrival to the South Carolina program last summer. After being flagged prior to enrollment, Green did eventually make the grade and was eligible to play last season
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RlmGkyIbKw
August 28th- Womens soccer- Clemson 2 yardbirds 1.

September 4th- Mens soccer- Clemson 3 chokebirds 0

September 10th- A true Walmart fanbase- listed as the #12 on WallyWorlds list of most purchased team merchandise . Twelve SEC made the list. Clemson did not. http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sec-football/12-sec-teams-appear-walmart-top-25-merchandise-rankings/

September 12th- Good Lord they lost to Kentucky at home in football. A list of teams UK has beat in the last two years only includes UT Martin, Ohio, Louisiana, Vandy, ULM, and south carolina...TWICE!!!!!

September 12th- Gamecock fans still claim the SEC is the best conference yet Toledo beats Arkansas 16-12 at home!

September 18th- Demetrius Summer arrested...AGAIN. Lexington County Sheriff's Department say Demetris Summers is charged with manufacturing and trafficking methamphetamine. He and his girlfriend Laticia Boykin are also charged with unlawful conduct toward a child. My question is how is he not already in prison?!

September 19th- A rivalry game? Are you kidding me? Georgia throttles the lamecocks 52-20. QB Grayson Lambert breaks the NCAA completion % record. "I can't believe he threw an incompletion," Richt quipped. "I'm disappointed in that. But we'll forgive him." "They totally dominated us," Spurrier said. "We didn't throw the ball very well, we didn't run the ball very well. We got clobbered."

October 3rd- Hey let's win the battle of Columbias! Not a chance. Mizzou 24 cootU10. It appears the meltdown is in full force folks! Stay tuned!

October 10th- @ LSU L 45-24. Tigers had two 150 yard rushers.

October 10th- Freshman Shameik Blackshear Tweets that he should've committed elsewhere. Thats great but he should actually be in jail for larceny (see February 13th).

October 12th- Scar commit PJ Blue announced he will decommit after news of Spurrier's "retirement" surfaced. “After talking it over with my family I have decided to decommit from the University of South Carolina.”

October 13th- Mouthy coach Steve Spurrier quits the team in order to avoid a losing season and getting thumped by Clemson in November. School president Harris Pastides has asked the disgruntled coach to stay til the end of the year but the selfish old ball coach declined. Here is a picture from the press conference-
http://www.tigernet.com/forums/message.jspa?messageID=18021410
Spurrier, "Not sure the change is what they've needed but the change is what they've got."

October 13th- WR commit Bryan Edwards has mixed feelings about his future with the scarolina football program. "I have to do what’s best for me and my future as a student athlete. I will be contemplating my future in the next few weeks in light of recent events.”

October 13th- Another recruit blindsided by the myopic coach's decision to quit. OL commit Will Putnam, “Not the news I was expecting tonight.”

October 15th- Classy gamecock fan attempts to steal pens, markers, and gamecock decals from a Moncks Corner Wal-Mart. Police describe the suspect as a white male wearing a blue shirt, camo pants, a Gamecocks hat and tattoos on both arms. http://www.live5news.com/story/30271986/walmart-shoplifter-escapes-custody-after-threatening-to-cut-officer-with-box-cutter

October 17th- Tell me again how good the SEC is?.... Memphis 37 Ole Miss 24. The myth that the SEC is the best conference is exposed.

October 19th- Decootment! WR Bryan Edwards wants no part of whats happening at CootU. Now taking a hard look at Clemson.

October 26th- Decootment! DB PJ Blue opts out of his commitment to USCjr and will visit Clemson.

October 31st- Lamecocks vouch to win this Saturday and prove naysayers wrong. Oops, 35-28 Aggies win.

November 3rd- Clemson ranked #1 in CFB Playoff rankings.

November 7th- Ok, this is weekend the gamecocks turn it around. They swear by it! NOT SO FAST, 27-24 Volunteers!

November 8th- Clemson replaces Ohio State as AP Poll #1. Envious gamecocks everywhere weep.

November 14- Huge game against Florida this weekend to try and make one last run. Ok, they're serious this time though that they'll shock the world. DOH! 24-14 loss to Florida. Fan base is in such a meltdown that Al Gore is likely to make a documentary about it.

November 16th- Clemson ranked #1 in Coaches Poll. Salt to the wound...

November 16th- Just how ridiculous are those feathered folks in cootlumbia? Get this, they're petitioning to change the kickoff time for the Clemson-South Carolina 'rivalry' game. What an absolute joke.

November 21st- L. O. L! Are you kidding me! LOL! Gamecocks lose to The Citadel at home 23-22! Absolutely hilarious! A 'mighty SEC team' loses to an FCS team! Additionally, Florida needs overtime to beat Florida Atlantic, 20-14. The Gators were 31 point favorites. Auburn gives up 470 total yards to Idaho at home. Tell me again how good the SEC is....

November 21st- Uh oh, South Carolina QB commit takes an official visit to Penn State and is building a relationship with James Franklin and the staff....