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Replies: 28
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Lot o points [155750]
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This quarantine may result in murder or morbid obesity
Mar 24, 2020, 9:26 AM
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In the Obed house. On the fatty front, I’m not used to this 24/7 food access. I gotta stay out of the kitchen.
On the murder front, my wife is extreme type A and can’t handle a moment’s unproductivity. I’m eventually going to snap at the next suggestion that I could be cleaning the basement instead of having coffee at 8am. .
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All-In [35541]
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Be sure to try your jeans on once a day
Mar 24, 2020, 9:27 AM
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those sweat pants will lie right to your face
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Ya, but my 1/4 chub looks so good in them.***
Mar 24, 2020, 9:52 AM
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All-In [46814]
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That's not type A that's being a woman
Mar 24, 2020, 9:33 AM
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they can't stand to see a man relaxing
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
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There is something to this.
Mar 24, 2020, 9:35 AM
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The one time they decide to actually do something other than be on Facebook, Instagram or any of that other ######## , they want everyone to be doing something.
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All-In [34486]
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Joined: 8/30/19
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Oh and God forbid you spent all day out in the yard
Mar 24, 2020, 9:54 AM
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mowing their grass, getting up a chit-ton of leaves trimming hedges, weedeating etc....YOU BETTER NOT COME INSIDE AND START DRINKING BEER before we go to the Ducks Unlimited banquet!!!!
/oddly specific
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All-In [46814]
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Are we married to the same person?
Mar 24, 2020, 10:00 AM
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I can spend all day in the yard busting my ###, but let one dish be in the sink at the end of the night and the whole #### house will fall down.
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All-In [40925]
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I get up and start yardwork before she gets out of bed
Mar 24, 2020, 10:31 AM
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that way I am "free" to do whatever it is I am supposed to do later in the day.
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All-In [47724]
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
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LOLOL
Mar 24, 2020, 10:29 AM
[ in reply to Oh and God forbid you spent all day out in the yard ] |
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My wife will watch Hallmark shows for 5 hours while I work outside, and as soon as I come in I've got to help her with something. Like folding the clothes. Infuriating, I don't even speak to her when she pulls that #### anymore, I just glare at her while I get a beer.
Once I feel like my son is on stable footing in his life, I just may disappear never to be seen again.
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All-In [46814]
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I miss the days of our parents
Mar 24, 2020, 10:40 AM
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my dad would work in the yard all day, come in and go to his chair. My mother didn't say #### because she knew he had been out there working. She would be in the kitchen doing her stuff as well.
Women these days are so spoiled it's crazy. They've been taught their whole life they they're a little princess. Everybody in their life, "By God girl you're a little princess" and now that their older that's what they believe. You can't talk to me that way, I'm a princess. Yeah well you're a big by god princess.
Well you know what, I'm a prince and this prince would like a blow job every once in a while.
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
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I think you've got to blame the Boomer fathers
Mar 24, 2020, 10:47 AM
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They created these monsters.
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Hall of Famer [21236]
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I feel sorry for yall...
Mar 24, 2020, 4:00 PM
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I really do. I bust my butt... so does my wife. Well, she busts her butt, not mine.
I work hard, take care of the yardwork when I can... she does when I cannot. For instance, yesterday, I come home and see all the bushes have been trimmed. She brought me lunch at my building with the kids. Homeshooled both our children. She feeds the dogs in the morning, I do at night. She put the kids to bed pretty much last night because I was working some more. And, she got excited because she foud out Southern Growl was doing like a $35 dollar special for a growler and food for a family of four. I married a unicorn.
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All-In [34486]
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Re: LOLOL
Mar 24, 2020, 10:52 AM
[ in reply to LOLOL ] |
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My wife will watch Hallmark shows for 5 hours while I work outside, and as soon as I come in I've got to help her with something. Like folding the clothes. Infuriating, I don't even speak to her when she pulls that #### anymore, I just glare at her while I get a beer.
MauldinT add this one to your file. This is classic Lakebum.
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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Oculus Spirit [97697]
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CU Medallion [66019]
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Not having practice everyday cuts about 9K steps out of
Mar 24, 2020, 9:49 AM
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my daily routine, so I've put on some LBs
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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Been working in the shop mostly instead of my office the
Mar 24, 2020, 10:08 AM
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past 4 weeks. Should be down a few lbs. Going to check now...
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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####.
Mar 24, 2020, 10:10 AM
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Exactly the same.
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Heisman Winner [105510]
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
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So you're on the other end of the spectrum?
Mar 24, 2020, 10:33 AM
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We've got a crockpot that was used to cook a boston butt 8 days ago. It still hasn't been cleaned. I'm looking at it as an experiment at this point, how long will she let it sit there? Honestly I think it could go a month, maybe more.
I go home everyday and my dogs have not been given food or water. They look at me like Jesus himself when I walk in the door because I'm the only one who bothers to give them life's essentials. She'll let them get on everything I don't want them on and then not clean it, but food and water is too much. My 3 year old couch is trashed.
I bet I don't sit down until 10:30 at night most days, just trying to keep the property from devolving into trailer park trash. But I'm growing weary, real weary man.
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
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I had a very similar discussion the other day.
Mar 24, 2020, 10:47 AM
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I can't clean up mess from one room before the next one is being blown up. I spent 2 months and about $5K getting the house ready to sell < 6 months ago, and if I went to put it up for sale today, I'd have to do it all over again.
I think I need to find a cinder block house with stainless steel walls and furniture, and a big drain in the middle of the house. Every 3 years or so I come in and throw everything out, and pressure wash what is left.
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
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The cycle gets old, doesn't it?
Mar 24, 2020, 10:55 AM
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Every 4-5 months I start having thoughts like that, why not just go buy 10 acres in Townville and put up a big metal building with concrete floors? We'd probably all be happier. I wouldn't be constantly stressed about the house being trashed, she wouldn't have to worry about doing anything about it. I'll just furnish that MFer with pontoon boat furniture.
I mean why not? If this is the way it's going to be, why even bother? I dunno, based on history we're about 2 weeks from having a huge fight about it, she'll cry, I'll be pissed off for another week. She'll start putting in more effort for another month or two, then we'll do this all over again.
Seems like that metal building could solve a lot of problems....Of course, she'd never go for that, cause "I love our neighborhood".
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
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Re: The cycle gets old, doesn't it?
Mar 24, 2020, 10:59 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Bruh
Mar 24, 2020, 7:24 PM
[ in reply to The cycle gets old, doesn't it? ] |
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Bruh.
I used to be like you, and still am in many respects.
Over the course of a few weeks, maybe months, I would haul off trash bags full of stuff in our house everytime I got pissed about the place being dirty.
I was throwing away perfectly good stuff, no shiiits given.
Everybody got 10 pair of pants, 10 shirts, etc. the rest went to goodwill...
Books that aren't on grade level for the kids - donated.
Toys that don't get played with on a weekly basis - donated.
Two fitted sheets for each bed - extras and top sheets went in the trash.
Mismatched socks - trash (kinda wishing I still had those to wipe my buttocks with, btw).
Stupid fake flower arangements and stupid trinkets around the house - trash.
I bet I hauled off 10 loads of shiit in my Dakota piled up over the cab. It may have been 15 loads.
We're way happier now.
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All-In [31429]
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Heisman Winner [105510]
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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Nice...
Mar 24, 2020, 10:50 AM
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I would actually like some productivity. I can't get away from anybody.
My wife is a teacher so if I stay at home, I become tech support for her.
I try to hide away in my office at work, but when I'm here, I become tech support for my boss.
And man do I miss the gym. Nervous eating is killing me.
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All-In [31429]
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Re: This quarantine may result in murder or morbid obesity
Mar 24, 2020, 4:09 PM
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If we can ever do elective surgery again, business will be booming. All the quarantine Lb’s will have way more people up over bmi 35
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Replies: 28
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