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Topic: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.
Replies: 34   Last Post: Dec 1, 2020, 10:19 AM by: TigersO
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My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

emoji_events [23]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:28 AM
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I have a 4 year old daughter.

I pointed out to my daughter on Saturday that there was a girl playing football.

We watch softball, volleyball, and occasionally women's soccer on tv together. We also watch football, baseball, men's and women's golf and men's basketball together.

This weekend I taught my daughter to punt, with a soccer ball. She will play in her first soccer game this coming Saturday which will be her first organized sport.

I would love for my daughter to grow up to be like Sarah Fuller, an elite WOMEN'S college soccer player. Any other women's sport would be great as well.

I'm not interested in my daughter being used by others to push a narrative.

I don't think poorly of Sarah Fuller after this weekend. As a Vanderbilt student and an elite athlete, I'm sure she has great things in her future. I do think less of the people who are using her. She is simply an athlete who agreed to help when she was asked to do so.

I don't see what she did as "inspiring to young girls everywhere".

I honestly think it's a pretty sad story for young girls that this conference champion soccer player could only get noticed by playing a men's sport.

Don't get me wrong. I honestly think it could have been a great story if she contributed to their team in a time of need, but it didn't work out that way.

What actually happened was that people built up the story SO MUCH ahead of time without considering that Vandy would be shut out. When she didn't have a chance to score a point, they had to make it seem as though her presence in a meaningless play has changed everything forever.

One thing you didn't hear about this weekend was a previous female kicker (New Mexico maybe) who attempted and extra point and had it blocked, which prevented her from being the first woman to score a point in a division 1 football game. Why didn't that woman's appearance "change everything"?

My wife and I plan to raise our daughter to believe she can do anything in the world that she wants to do.

Multiple times while women's sports have been on our TV, my wife or myself have asked my daughter if she would want to do that someday. That question was not asked this weekend. We didn't make a definitive choice to not mention it, but it never crossed my mind to consider asking.

We try to implant in her head to always try for more and to try to always do her best in everything. If somebody asks her one day to "help the football team by playing kicker", then we will have that conversation when the time comes. My side of the conversation will be "don't do it", but I won't say that it will never happen.

I'm assuming this Sarah Fuller story will soon be forgotten, and in several years when another woman gets on a football team the narrative will be the same that everything will be changed forever.

This is all my opinion, which isn't worth much, but I wondered how Sarah's dad felt watching her on Saturday. Hopefully he was thinking that he loves his daughter and hopes this situation will turn out the best way possible for HER and not some irrational narrative.


Sorry...thought you said Sara Conner

[3]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:39 AM
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From Terminator series. Just kidding, nice post.

2021 purple level member

I have two daughters 24 and 26 years old

emoji_events [8]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:46 AM
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They were never interested in sports much but both were cheerleaders in middle school and one in high school. 1 day of high school cheerleading was enough for the other. One played soccer one year and liked it and was about average on the team (I was the assistant coach) but they just didn't want to do sports no matter how much I pushed it. Both also did karate for a couple of years and dance and girl scouts.

I didn't push academics too hard in high school because there was just too much going on in life with them. They were above average students but wanted to study engineering so had to go the community college route.

Both CHEMEs from State both graduated magna ### laude with the same gpa to the 1/100ths place. One got an MBA and went the business route and is a Manufacturing manager on an international team, she is the only American and actually works in London but is working from home in NC. Crazy how well she is doing and how much money she makes.

The other is a rocket scientist down in Cape Canaveral working on a Masters degree from Johns Hopkins in space systems engineering.

I am all about some girl power.

They never learned that women were oppressed and didn't have opportunity until they got into College and were taught that in their non engineering classes. Being female has been an advantage for them in industry.

Sarah Fuller is not empowering. She helped her school's team out like 100s of other students.

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Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[4]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:52 AM
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Why would girls be raised to believe they can be anything they choose? I am make and was raised to know my limitations. If I told my dad that I wanted to be an NBA player or a physicist or opera singer he would have told me I need to make a different choice as I was not built for any of these things. Females should have the ability to compete for any opportunity as long as they have the basic capability. This applies to males as well.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[3]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:23 PM
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At 4 my daughter my daughter still has the option to do anything that any woman can do.

As she grows that will change.

By 10 her options will be less, by 15 even fewer, and when she heads to college they will be narrowed down even more.

What you teach a child at 4 is about how their mind will work for the rest of their life.

What you teach a child in their teens is about how the real world works.

Child development is not difficult to grasp. It's a process.

Clearly one of the limitations set before you was that you would not be able to understand brain development.


at 4 both my daughters knew the pythagorean therom

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 2:03 PM
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they didn't know what it meant but they could recite it. I constantly told them how things worked. They were molded into engineering their entire life. Honestly if they would have said they wanted to be a psychology major, I would have said no. If they were really interested in it they could get a minor in psychology and then go to grad school. It is easier to go from being a stem major to a non stem major than it is going from a non stem major to a stem major.

I was always very involved with their school work. I don't trust the education system. At 4 we read crazy amounts. Every day summer included.

My youngest daughter never read out of the early early books. She taught herself how to read watching her sister read at bedtime. One day she corrected her sister and I thought she must have just memorized the word because her sister was struggling. I went an got another book that had full pages and paragraphs but easy and she read it. She was an average student until college, I think she was bored. She was constantly grounded for getting c's (she was capable of a's for sure). She took off in college though.

The early years are so important. Get behind and you might get behind for life.

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Re: at 4 both my daughters knew the pythagorean therom


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 2:49 PM
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I love it!

Thank you for the story.


Re: at 4 both my daughters knew the pythagorean therom

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 8:07 PM
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they didn't know what it meant but they could recite it. I constantly told them how things worked. They were molded into engineering their entire life. Honestly if they would have said they wanted to be a psychology major, I would have said no. If they were really interested in it they could get a minor in psychology and then go to grad school. It is easier to go from being a stem major to a non stem major than it is going from a non stem major to a stem major.

I was always very involved with their school work. I don't trust the education system. At 4 we read crazy amounts. Every day summer included.

My youngest daughter never read out of the early early books. She taught herself how to read watching her sister read at bedtime. One day she corrected her sister and I thought she must have just memorized the word because her sister was struggling. I went an got another book that had full pages and paragraphs but easy and she read it. She was an average student until college, I think she was bored. She was constantly grounded for getting c's (she was capable of a's for sure). She took off in college though.

The early years are so important. Get behind and you might get behind for life.



Interesting how you grounded your child for Cs vs recognizing maybe school wasn't interesting to them - seems counterintuitive IMO but from the sounds of it they are doin alright ??

Overall, I feel similar to how you view the education process. I feel like I'm going to be a little more hands on than my upbringing but put most of the decision making in my child's hands to live and learn with some tough love when it's needed.

Truth is so many kids nowadays are at the mercy of their upbringings - I should be a statistic coming from a single mother household but I got lucky.

The family environment is SO important that it kind of scares me raising a family sometimes. When you start breaking it down, there's almost a certain level of income and support network you need to have a shot at breaking or avoiding dysfunctional cycles ??


Re: at 4 both my daughters knew the pythagorean therom


Posted: Dec 1, 2020, 10:00 AM
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This is just a shot in the dark, and I don't want to speak for Neal, but I'm guessing "grounding for C's" was due to not giving their best at something they were doing rather than for the actual results.

If a student works hard and gets a C because he or she struggles in a subject, they should be encouraged to keep working hard.

If a student has the potential to get an A, but settles for C's without much effort, then there should be consequences IMO.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 2:11 PM
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Well the saying is a man has to know his limitations. Evidently women don’t!? LOL!

Sadly when they do find their limitations they are told it’s sexism or racism or both!


Message was edited by: Lowcntry_Tiger®


2021 orange level member

Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 2:51 PM
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I agree a man and a woman should know their limitations after a lifetime of learning.

A 4 year old should not know their limitations.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:52 AM
    Reply

Why would girls be raised to believe they can be anything they choose? I am make and was raised to know my limitations. If I told my dad that I wanted to be an NBA player or a physicist or opera singer he would have told me I need to make a different choice as I was not built for any of these things. Females should have the ability to compete for any opportunity as long as they have the basic capability. This applies to males as well.


Coming to the Late Stages of Formal Parenting for my 24 Year

emoji_events [5]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 11:53 AM
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Old daughter, my biggest concern with the SF circus is, whether she realizes it or not yet, SF was a used as a pawn for the media agenda of the week. She is an accomplished D1 soccer goalie who in her heart knows what an accomplishment of value is and the charade put on by ESPN Saturday was a sham. She did not play the role of kicker at even a D- level, it was Kabuki theatre. By the way SF was a big and muscular as many a college kicker and could have stayed on to help her team.

Maybe I'm old school, but I have not nor ever will perpetrate I lie like the SF event on my children, it only weakens them.

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Re: Coming to the Late Stages of Formal Parenting for my 24 Year

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:26 PM
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I completely agree!

That is why I hope that her father and mother are focusing on what's best for their daughter.

It could be really easy to get wrapped up in everything they will be told about how things should be handled, but they need to make sure that once this passes that their daughter is not affected in a negative way by being used by so many to push their ideals.


Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.

[4]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:41 PM
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I thought Sarah represented the right things. Didn’t really matter how far the football went.



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Re: Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.

[2]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:46 PM
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Yes, to be clear, I have no issues with Sarah Fuller as I stated in the OP.

I hope for, and expect, great things for her future.


Re: Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:20 PM
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Maybe all the Vanderbilt players should have 'play like a girl' on their helmets. The woke crowd would REALLY love that! And they STILL wouldn't actually have to improve their performance on the field. What a country we live in!


Re: Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:37 PM
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"Play like our women's soccer team" would be a better message for their football program because it would mean going from conference chumps to conference champs.


I completely misinterpreted your opening statement. A sign

[2]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:48 PM
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of the times I guess.


Re: I completely misinterpreted your opening statement. A sign

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 12:57 PM
    Reply

I appreciate your honesty and your humor Spud!

A sign of the times indeed.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:06 PM
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These two statements don't comprehend

"My wife and I plan to raise our daughter to believe she can do anything in the world that she wants to do....If somebody asks her one day to "help the football team by playing kicker", then we will have that conversation when the time comes. My side of the conversation will be "don't do it", but I won't say that it will never happen."

You aren't raising your daughter to do "anything in the world that she wants to do" because your answer to the second question - help the football team by playing kicker - should be an emphatic YES. Today you are setting limits on her.

Now you have every single right to believe what you do ... but you aren't the empowering father you claim to be. You are signaling from the beginning that she has limits and she can't do certain things. Maybe you believe it's in her best self interest. But this is your message - do what you want within boundaries that society is setting.

There's a reason this quote is famous "well behaved women seldom make history". It's because poorly behaved women have to drag insecure men on a journey of acceptance. Being called a b****. A wh***. A man hater. etc. I hope your daughter goes to prove you wrong. And you are gracious enough to accept it.


Speaking of comprehension....

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:24 PM
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Today....she’s four.

Future.....“then we will have that conversation when the time comes.” I’m sure she will stick up for herself when that time comes.

Today....not setting limits, because the conversation has not occurred.

Terrifically unfounded rant at the end.

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Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:35 PM
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The two statements align very well.

My daughter can do LOTS of things that she shouldn't do.

After I taught her to punt this past weekend, she proceeded to punt a ball at the TV.

While she CAN do that, she SHOULD NOT. I told her not to do it again, while also reminding her where she could keep playing.

If you will notice I said that while my advice would be no, I can't say that it would never happen.

I'm sure she will choose to ignore my advice many more times in life than she already has at 4.

I was on a high school football team that had a girl join the team and try to play linebacker. It was not a positive experience for her. She quit midway through the season because she wasn't nearly good enough (even on JV as a junior) to play and it was dangerous to put her in the game even against younger players.

I also played against a girl FG kicker in high school and the officials were instructed to blow the whistle immediately in the event of a bad snap to keep the defense from ever hitting her. The officials messed up and blew our fake FG dead and cost us a TD. The rules put in place affected the integrity of the game because her presence on the field made her unsafe. I would not want my child participating in something that required the rules to be re-written in a constrictive manner just for 1 person's sake.

My recommendation to her has nothing to do with "society's boundaries".

However, societal boundaries are not always a bad thing. There are certain societal boundaries that correctly separate men and women and always should. My daughter will be taught to go in women's bathrooms and locker rooms. My son will be taught to never hit a woman. Those are two boundaries that lots of "brave" souls are trying to fight now and I do not feel that those "brave" souls are making the world a better place.


Reading your posts, your daughter appears to have a

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 6:40 PM
    Reply

pretty sharp Dad, and I am going to guess a pretty sharp Mom as well. Best wishes to your little lady for a bright future! As the father of a 25 year old daughter and a 20 year old son, I'm proud of both in hopefully overcoming their own Dad's genetic traits ...

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Re: Reading your posts, your daughter appears to have a


Posted: Dec 1, 2020, 10:02 AM
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I hope that both of my children inherit many many things from their mom and just enough from me that people believe they are mine.

Even that is a risky amount to get from me.....


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 2:18 PM
    Reply

You clearly don’t read and comprehend well and not understand sub text. He doesn’t want his daughter used as a pawn or to be made a mockery of which is what Sarah Fuller was/is. He wants her to go out and be her own woman, not part of somebody else’s publicity stunt.

This is akin to Dabo telling his players to make sure they fully understand when they get on board with social movements. Who’s leading it. Why? What’s the agenda? What are they trying to accomplish? These are questions everyone should ask.

2021 orange level member

Great perspective TigersO.

[2]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:26 PM
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You sound like a great Dad. I was raised to believe I can do anything I set my mind to. But, I know that I prefer to watch football and not play!

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Re: Great perspective TigersO.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:46 PM
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Thank you!

I appreciate your perspective.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 1:56 PM
    Reply

I applaud the young lady, as the OP stated, she stepped up when asked to. I hope shr trys again and again until she doesn't want to any more. More people should step up and try things, you never know what what is going to happen until you try. By the way i am sure all male kickers get it right every time.


Ummmm, the only kickers that never get it wrong

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 7:49 PM
    Reply

Are the "can kickers".
As long as they keep booting it down the road, they never have to make a real stand on anything and get to just keep pointing their fingers at everybody else.


as the daddy of a 22 y/o female D1 track athlete, I really

[1]
Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 8:13 PM
    Reply

appreciate your comments. Girls have enough limitations put on them - see the comments on the bored. If I was that young lady's dad, I would be proud and somewhat reticent about the circus. God bless her and all the girls that are willing to step out of the norm and try stuff that girls don't usually do. God bless you, dad - and good luck!

Message was edited by: 1portroyalty®


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Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 8:48 PM
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She performed a glorified squib kick. About 15 years ago my daughter kicked for her school here in Mt Pleasant because she was better than any of kickers the boys had to offer. She went on the compete in the Punt, Pass and Kick competition and was a regional winner and she performed at half time of the Carolina Panthers games back to back years. What Vandy did was a side show. That girl was WAY below average. I saw her warm up and her max would be about a 25 yard FG.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.

[2]
Posted: Dec 1, 2020, 10:19 AM
    Reply

Let's not forget that the young lady you are calling "WAY below average" is an elite women's soccer player.

She is likely a great athlete with a strong leg. As a goalie she must have a certain amount of leg strength to perform the basic field-advancing kicks that are asked of each goalie in soccer.

My knowledge on FG kicking leads me to believe that she has done very little kicking of a football and clearly one week of practice for someone without much experience is not going to allow them to perform at a high level.

Her approach to the ball, not surprisingly, was geared toward kicking the long low kicks desired in soccer.

Trying to change her form in a week would have been useless.

The little I watched her kick during warm ups, it seemed that she was trying to find the sweet spot lower on the ball to avoid a block, but it wasn't a natural movement or contact point for her.

It seems your daughter found something she loved and worked very hard to be great at it. Not only her ability, but her work ethic is something I'm sure you are very proud of as a dad.


Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.


Posted: Nov 30, 2020, 9:17 PM
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.

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Re: My take on Sarah Fuller as a father of a daughter.


Posted: Dec 1, 2020, 12:13 AM
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does she have her own locker room?

i would think she would be rather uncomfortable at half time or post in the mens

does she get her own pregame speech?

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