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YOUR BALANCE
FSU WEEK LIMERICKS
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FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 6:11 AM

They haven’t looked this bad in years.
Now on the horizon appears
An orange steamroller -
An anti-consoler
Who feasts upon failure and tears.



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GO TIGERS


Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 6:19 AM

Hey Taggart, why such a long face?
I love what you’ve done with the place -
You’ve taken star players
And peeled back their layers,
So now we see dread and disgrace.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 10:51 AM

The “semi-hole’s” Linemen are like sieves.
They’re easily busted and often gives.
Our Power Rangers
Likely endangers
Those thuggish injuns in Florida lives.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 6:20 AM

:)

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 7:54 AM

That backpack looks real cute on you!
You glow when you wear it! You do!!
The fumbles WE steal
Will make y’all, for real,
Return it to Limited Too.

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GO TIGERS


Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 8:03 AM

Hey, what’s with the purple this season?
Those uniforms look like their teasin’
The film Pocahontas,
Almost like y’all want us
To treat you like girls. What’s the reason?



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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 8:39 AM

Your offensive line is your weakness.
Our D-line’s true athletic freakness
Will punch its way through
To Francois and crew.
Prepare for more failure and bleakness.

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GO TIGERS


Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 22, 2018, 1:03 PM

You kinda lost Jimbo to money,
And now, kinda sad, kinda funny,
You bring in a chum
Who’s green as they come -
No paycheck can fix this thing, honey.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 6:39 AM

Hey Willie, you talkin’ some smack?
That mouth might get players off-track.
They’re focused on preppin’s
To run from our weapons
In hopes they’ll survive our attack.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 6:47 AM

“Unconquered,” you say? Lemme see:
When y’all lose to us that’ll be
Your fourth on the season.
You’ll need a good reason
When bowl-begging on bended knee.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 7:56 AM

You’ll hear it from here to Angola!
Grab popcorn and cold Coca-Cola
And witness a beatin’ -
The Noles will get eaten
When Tigers meet Chief Osceola.

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Go grab some crabs from the deli


Oct 23, 2018, 8:20 AM

Lee Corso may arrive there by heli
The day you have dreaded
The Tigers are headed
To the Playoffs, so don't you be Jeali.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 9:00 AM

There was a player named Jameis
He thought he was so rich and famous
He left FSU,
Started huffing glue,
No he has a messed up annus

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 9:04 AM

There once was a poster named bdrechs,
A chap who never got much #####,
To tigernet he would go,
Posting limericks to and fro,
While the lady problem na’er ceased to vex.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 11:12 AM

This bdrechs guy, if you could know ’im,
Has cards he could play, but won’t show ‘em.
Suffice it to say
He’s had a good day -
His lady sure likes a good poem...

;)

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 2:56 PM

I can't help but draw the conclusion
That when bdrechs' wife, in profusion,
Starts rhyming away
At the right time of day-
It causes his lower protrusion

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 8:00 AM

I’ll tell you this, if you must pry –
A marriage is influenced by
Conditions and timing.
Specific to rhyming,
I’ll neither confirm nor deny...

??

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 9:15 AM

Well by now you should know it was just my luck
The baliff of the station was a neighborhood cluck
I looked him straight in the eye and said what's up
And said let's make a deal, you know I'll do you up
Now back on the streets and my records are clean
I creeped on my ##### wit my uzi machine
Went to the house and kicked down the do'
Unloaded like hell, cold smoked the ho

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 10:16 AM

Harcore B-boy named Eazy-E!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 9:23 AM

There once was a man from Greer,
Whose friends thought he was quite queer,
He rolled down Wade Hampton,
Blasting Peter Frampton,
And shouting that the end was near.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 9:39 AM

I needed a frontal lobotomy,
But didn’t want to lose a part of me,
To the bar I did go,
Debated it so,
And decided I’d rather have a bottle in front of me.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 10:15 AM

I went to the bathroom this morning
And made brown while my breakfast was warming
I didn't pack no lunch,
But I have a hunch
We gon win by fiddy

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 10:35 AM

Osceola will enter in fear
Prancing timidly, planting the spear.
We will be waiting
Anticipating
The marvelous “Nole” beat down to jeer.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 2:13 PM

Placing Bob Wischusen in the booth
With Brock Huard "unraveling his tooth"*.
The nole's bell, we'll ring-it.
Allison will wing-it,
Singing from the sidelines like Puth**.



* "unraveling your teeth", coming from my Gullah heritage meaning: you talk too much, you have a loose tongue
(Sorry, I had to take liberties with the saying to make this cadence and rhyme work.)

** Charlie Puth: current American singer/songwriter

Message was edited by: Skeeta56®


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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 1:58 PM

Deondre Francois is the man -
He’ll help us make good on our plan.
When Dex comes to call,
He’ll give up the ball
And help us score touchdowns again.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 2:31 PM

Semi-holes, we ain't coming to court.
For your foul-mouth, we'll have a retort,
Like first downs galore
And scores even more!
No worries FEMA's still near to support.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 4:11 PM

With these limericks perhaps,
about Clemson we could start talking crap,
Sure Crump would frown,
and we'd get a lot of thumbs down,
but it would make deroberts type in all caps.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 23, 2018, 10:46 PM

Ahh, remembering two thousand thirteen . . .
It is now time to rise up and demean,
Those trash spreading fools
Who soiled our schools
By curb-stomping them at their own latrine.

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The semiholes from Tally are reeling


Oct 23, 2018, 5:04 PM

And the pressure to win they are feeling.
They will come out all jacked,
But the noles will get whacked,
And by game's end to the Tigers they'll be kneeling.

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Re: The semiholes from Tally are reeling


Oct 23, 2018, 10:08 PM

The noles love riding Appaloosas.
Their gals do make pretty "papoosas".
But if not careful,
They'll remain tearful,
Becoming the Atlantic's "caboosas"!

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 10:28 AM

Francois is a blue-collar guy -
A likeable sort. That is why
He’s kinda succeeded.
No crab legs are needed -
He’s good with a burger and fry.

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GO TIGERS


Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 12:07 PM

Your spearhead tied on that big stick -
It’s so dull it can’t even nick
An old woman’s skin.
I guess it’s best, then,
To use as Osceola’s toothpick.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 6:45 PM

Francois, that's hard to enunciate.
Their O-line, one can't articulate.
A backpack, really?
Disgracefully Silly!!!
Home team's D-Line will not penetrate.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 6:57 PM

Seeking space to run free is Akers.
But Taggart can't find any takers,
To open said holes
For the sad dwarfed noles.
Best pour them all a Mark of Makers.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 7:15 PM

Flaming is the spear that was planted.
Disgruntled are their fans who ranted.
They've failed at gaming
Noles need a good caning!
ROSS SCORES . . . on a route that was slanted.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 8:42 PM

Famous Grouse is my ev'ryday scotch.
Sipping Dewar's is simply a botch.
I won't need either,
Winning's a breather.
The seminoles can kiss my sweet c r o t c h ! ! !

Message was edited by: Skeeta56®


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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 9:21 PM

To the south we have those hated Semi-holes
And north of the border are the cheatin' Tar-holes
Surely, nothing could be finer
Than smackin' the b-ballers from Carolina
After kickin' the Semi-holes by 30, the poor souls.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 24, 2018, 9:29 PM

Just sitting on my front porch and drinking
Pleasant thoughts I have been thinking!
Getting four straight over the Noles
That should be our immediate goal
Let's just leave the Noles in a big pile of stinking

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 6:01 AM

The bumbly predisposition
Of FSU’s offensive mission
Meets up with our D??
This game’s gonna be
Like using C4 to go fishin’!

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 7:00 AM

To Tally Floridians go
To do...what? I don’t really know.
No mountains, no beaches,
No int’resting featchas -
They do have some criminals, though.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 8:12 AM

Willie says he has fixed it,
But the Vegas bookies have picked it,
Fourteen is the spread,
Can't conquer the dead,
So says the ghost of Rick Trickett.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 8:24 AM

They used to have Bowden's attacks,
While Mickey racked up the sacks,
A past to dwell on,
Lo! the Cowgirls long gone!
Replaced with Willie's backpacks.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 5:07 PM

Another GOAT is now being born,
An aerial dissection, his form.
His reads will be crisp.
His darts but a wisp,
As defeat greets the noles at the horn.

Message was edited by: Skeeta56®


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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 5:24 PM

The veil that divided is now rent.
Our path to the Title won't be bent.
Dabo's direction
Guides Tiger Nation
To her glory reign, non-transient.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 8:18 PM

AD:
“Hey Willie, here’s gear you can use.
It’s Jimbo’s - feel free to peruse.”
WT:
“Ok, the shirts fit,
The pants loose a bit,
But I cannot fill Jimbo’s shoes.”

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GO TIGERS


Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 25, 2018, 8:39 PM

The noles O-Line is "butch" but brittle.
Big Dex and Chris are sure to whittle,
Bryant and Cle Missle
Will pen an epistle,
Inflicting bruises in hues of Skittles.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 26, 2018, 7:47 AM

A duel will go down at high noon.
Coach Taggart will fight with a spoon;
The victory solver?
An or’nge Colt revolver
With deadly-quick bullets, hand-hewn.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 26, 2018, 7:53 AM

Hunter Renfrow, “Mr 3rd Down Clutch”,
Has few accolades to rest in his hutch.
Sorely missed will he be
Leaving with his degree.
Who’ll become our next man-up, our crutch?

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 26, 2018, 11:16 AM

It hit me. A GI attack.
Academy Sports. In the back,
I ran to the john -
The TP was gone!
I grabbed a ‘Nole shirt off the rack...

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 26, 2018, 11:47 AM

With feathers and bright painted faces,
They cheer men in girdles and laces -
It seems Tallahassee
Is pretty durn sassy,
Like one of those drag queen type places.

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 26, 2018, 1:40 PM

To comprehend FSU’s plan,
You’ll do well to study this man.
This general Hull,
Inept, scared, and dull,
Gave in to Tecumseh’s small clan.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hull

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Re: FSU WEEK LIMERICKS


Oct 27, 2018, 10:49 AM

You think Osceola aborts?
It’s rough in the life of ‘Nole sports.
This noon kickoff time
Means Doak, not in prime,
Looks bare, sparsely dotted with jorts.

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