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Orange Blooded [4896]
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Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:13 AM
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It appears she called the cops many times. I’d really like to understand why he was never charged. Did she refuse to press charges or testify? Were they dropped because of who he was?
Frankly if she dropped the charges or refused to testify and stayed in the marriage I have 0 sympathy for her. Since they have kids if that is the case she should be charged with child abuse for allowing her kids to Continue to be exposed to it.
If she did press charges it’s a completely different story and someone else in addition to Urban needs to be held accountable.
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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Hooray ignorance! You should do some research on
Aug 2, 2018, 8:17 AM
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DV victims and why they stay with their abusers. That would be a good place to start.
As for your specific question, the story Brett McMurphy broke yesterday answers it for you.
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All-TigerNet [14751]
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you told me there was a process though, now you are back
Aug 2, 2018, 8:51 AM
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to saying research why charges don't happen and to just go on their word.
which?
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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I can tell you are having trouble reading here so allow me
Aug 2, 2018, 8:54 AM
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to type slower in hopes you will understand.
I replied to the OP suggesting she do research on why DV victims stay with their abusers. That has absolutely nothing to do with any process. Hth.
Message was edited by: GWPTiger®
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CU Medallion [67612]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:19 AM
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she should have run from him in 09. Seems the University and cops did nothing in spite of reports and evidence. The Meyers were obligated by university policy to report the abuse too. I think the lady wanted help and got none. She then blasted the Univ for not doing anything during the interview.
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All-TigerNet [13031]
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Seriously?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:25 AM
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"Frankly if she dropped the charges or refused to testify and stayed in the marriage I have 0 sympathy for her."
That's a horrible way to look at the situation. Women in domestic violence cases are frequently too scared to press charges, testify, or even report the incidents to authorities. These men beat them when they get angry. How do you think they will respond to potentially being locked up by their wives?
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All-TigerNet [14751]
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So all it takes is an accusation without due process?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:29 AM
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I see both sides. I don't agree with the tone of the original poster but there does need to be some form of process.
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All-TigerNet [13031]
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I don't believe i said that.***
Aug 2, 2018, 8:31 AM
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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All-TigerNet [14751]
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and what is that process?***
Aug 2, 2018, 8:48 AM
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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Which process are you asking about
Aug 2, 2018, 8:51 AM
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The process for the wife beater, or the process for the coach that enabled it for almost a decade? Because those are two very different answers.
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Orange Blooded [4896]
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Re: Seriously? Yes
Aug 2, 2018, 8:45 AM
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Yes I am. First I am female so not bashing women. Second, I had an employee once that showed signs of abuse. I finally got her to get help. She finally left him and went to a shelter. She ended up leaving our company about 3 months later. I ran into her shopping about a year after that and she was pregnant. Long story short she went back to the guy. And decided to bring an inicccent life into the world to learn how to abuse or be abused.
There are good resources for women who will use them.
A lot of these women don’t want to lose the financial support and even participate in a twisted way.
When children are involved in my opinion a mother has a duty to do everything in her power to get out of the situation for the mental health of her children. When a woman does that I will back her 100%. When she doesn’t in my book she’s almost as bad as the man abusing her.
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110%er [5854]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:27 AM
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Yes, blame the victim because that really helps. Come on man!
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All-TigerNet [14751]
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Not sure but I do think there needs to be some sort of
Aug 2, 2018, 8:28 AM
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linkage to the existing judicial system and these punishments we see. We have a process in place, its probably broken in a lot of ways and needs to be fixed but lets not pretend like this extrajudicial process we see playing out across the country is fair either. Its a fishnet and if you get caught in it, too bad.
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All-In [37023]
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If I'm not mistaken there
Aug 2, 2018, 8:31 AM
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was a restraining order against him, which he broke, that was the only reason he was fired. So it would appear as though she did report it, the issue is Urb's wife and it appears Urb knew about it prior to all of that and never said anything.
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CU Guru [1907]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:33 AM
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Good grief, second stupid thing I have read today. Maybe you need to read and gather info on DV before opening your yap. Now, in 2009 Meyer sent his consigliere(long time lawyer in mob speak) to get her to drop the charges . This was while at U Felon at Gainesville.
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CU Guru [1906]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:38 AM
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Consigliere AND grandfather of Smith, who had been described as UM’s mentor. They urged her not to press charges because Smith would lose his job and then what would happen to her and her child. Arm twisting and guilt trip at the same time.
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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Don't forget giving her the good ol
Aug 2, 2018, 8:43 AM
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"he's never hit you before, he was just drunk and it probably won't ever happen again"
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All-TigerNet [13031]
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Probably the worst thing I've seen in this story regarding
Aug 2, 2018, 8:47 AM
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Urban Meyer was this quote:
“There were no charges, everything was dropped. It was a very young couple, and I saw a very talented coach and we moved forward.”
Yeah everything is fine. It's totally normal for a man to beat his wife in the first year of marriage. I'm sure they will work it out.
Oh and he's a really talented football coach.
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Heisman Winner [105574]
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And going off memory here, wasn't she pregnant
Aug 2, 2018, 8:50 AM
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when it happened in 2009?
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All-TigerNet [13031]
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Yep***
Aug 2, 2018, 9:05 AM
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All-In [48078]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:45 AM
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ESPN said he was due in court this week. I don't know what charges though.
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All-TigerNet [14751]
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thats different something about trespassing during
Aug 2, 2018, 8:50 AM
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change of custody, not the abuse.
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All-In [48078]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:53 AM
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She is typical. My Dad used to beat my Mom pretty bad. She was terrified of him. She stayed for 15 years too long. She had 3 kids. She had no degree and really nowhere to turn. She was just a stay at home Mom. She wanted to make it work for her kids. When I was 13 she finally left him. I was the middle kid. It was a tough struggle after they split. We often had no electricity. No food...etc etc. All of us kids were happier though. They often stay for the kids and hope that things can change. They don't though. This lady that you harsh on is typical. Forgot to add, My Mom never called the cops once even after numerous trips to the hospital.
Message was edited by: Carlsbad®
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CU Guru [1907]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 9:06 AM
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My story is very similar, some "dads" are just scum and in need of a very good butt whipping. When asked about him I only say he is in hell where he blongs, to those that have not been in a DV sitution they do not get it. My mom finally left the night him and I went at it in a manly way when I was 16, I may not have "won" but he knew his time was up.
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All-In [48078]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 9:16 AM
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Yep. We're pretty common I am sure. As far as going at your Dad, I never had that chance, but I thought about many times as I got older.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged?
Aug 2, 2018, 9:38 AM
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Thankful my dad wasnt like that but I saw his brother beat his wife one time.
But, she was beating him before he finally beat her. She then ran and called the cops. I remember telling the cop she needs to be arrested as well.
Also thankful that my parents never allowed us to visit them again.
38 years ago and I still have no use for my "uncle."
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Orange Blooded [4896]
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Your mom finally got out and times are different now
Aug 2, 2018, 9:17 AM
[ in reply to Re: Why wasn’t he ever charged? ] |
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There are a lot of resources available for abused women. Also, we don't know her situation but maybe her parents or brothers or sisters could help. We don't know.
If there was literally no help available I don't blame her for not pressing charges. But if there was and there are kids involved call me heartless or whatever you want to but I am a mother and it bothers me to see women expose their children to this if they have ANY other choice. Studies show boys who witness their mother being abused are more likely to be abusers and girls who witness it are more likely to be abused.
Frankly there is more blame for the others involved who should have had better sense. It is hard to fathom that every coaches wife knew about this and didn't make sure charges were pressed and the guy was put behind bars.
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All-In [48078]
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Re: Your mom finally got out and times are different now
Aug 2, 2018, 9:30 AM
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The resources are weak even now. I tell you what. In hindsight, they almost all would have called the cops though and press charges.. When they are living it they want to keep the family together and make things work. The husband in jail and loss of possibly doesn't keep the dream alive. The man is often the breadwinner too and they need to make sure the kids are taken care of. Also, even though a father beats his wife, doesn't mean his kids don't love him. The mom wants it to work for the kids. Also, there are often long stretches of good times in between beatings. The Mom often thinks things are changing for the good. Then of course there is another beating after awhile. I think you are oversimplifying things because you never went through it. It's not always that simple. I agree it should be in hindsight. My Mom still to this day at 73 years old apologizes to us "kids" for staying with him so long. It blows me away she apologizes to us. She still is being tortured by him and he is dead.
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CU Guru [1907]
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Re: Your mom finally got out and times are different now
Aug 2, 2018, 12:13 PM
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You are entirely correct with your post, people are lulled in to a false sense of thinking there are vast resources out there for DV victims, if the woman is a stay at home mom it is very difficult for them. Also using them does little to nothing in ensuring the abuser does not follow/locate the wife and inflict serious injury or death. Restraining orders require the abuser to actually abide by them. I always tell my mom when she brings it up that I would not have my cat like reflexes if not for it. Like the line from Dodge Ball mine is- If I can dodge a Miller pony bottle I can dodge a ball.
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