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YOUR BALANCE
Ahhite Lunge, APM poses an ethical/moral quandary for you.
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Ahhite Lunge, APM poses an ethical/moral quandary for you.


Oct 8, 2019, 1:39 PM

So APM is on the way to a conference. I'm presenting there twice, they're paying me a little, etc. Not a bad deal.

Here's the thing - they've already asked me to do this again next year and I have already declined. Multiple reasons: 1) takes a lot of time and therefore money away from me doing my normal business stuff 2) I enjoy it but it's not like this is my prime audience or that this really helps me other than a line on the CV 3) this organization has been somewhat difficult to work with, but mainly the guy I partnered with has been a pain.

He abandoned me for another talk at this same gig so I am doing 3 hours solo, he won't return my calls, in short, he's not been fun to work with and I really don't want to work with him again. I would possibly do something for these folks again solo, but not with him and not with this big of a time commitment.

Knowing these folks as I do, I am pretty sure they will pressure me/try to persuade me while I am at the conference. Should 1:

1) Stick with a hard no and offer little explanation

2) Try to talk with the difficult guy first (I've already reached out to him and we have not had time to connect but I will see him at the conference) and then offer to go solo

3) Talk to the guy and see if we can work out something together (next's year's proposal was for me and him together again) - my least favorite option, given my history with him.

What say ye?

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Re: Ahhite Lunge, APM poses an ethical/moral quandary for you.


Oct 8, 2019, 1:41 PM

Drop a deuce in the elevator on the way out (or hell, maybe even in)... problem solved.

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On second thought, maybe just buy a Ford truck.***


Oct 8, 2019, 4:26 PM



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Really depends on where conference is, how much compensation


Oct 8, 2019, 1:43 PM

and whether or not they supply hookers and blow in the Presidential Suite.

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negatory on the H&B, Overall, I don't lose money for the


Oct 8, 2019, 1:48 PM

actual conference. Just lost income in the 3 days I'm away from the office. Not a big deal and I usually get something useful out of any conference, so that part is OK. Just don't like doing this and being treated poorly (by this one guy mostly) while doing it.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Assume the difficult guy deserves to be


Oct 8, 2019, 1:44 PM

deaded and arrange that to happen.

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Why would you continue trying to work with someone who is


Oct 8, 2019, 1:45 PM

actively ignoring you? Particularly if there's not a lot to be gained in the first place.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-lakebum1-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I generally find that partnerships with people like that are


Oct 8, 2019, 1:48 PM

very profitable; it's much easier to do all the money laundering and embezzlement in the other person's name.

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Either take advantage, or get taken advantage of.***


Oct 8, 2019, 1:58 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-lakebum1-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

yeah, long history though (10+ years) and he's a decent guy


Oct 8, 2019, 1:50 PM [ in reply to Why would you continue trying to work with someone who is ]

just not a responsive guy. In fact, when we are together I like him.

Dayum. This is sounding like an abusive relationship.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Question:


Oct 8, 2019, 1:46 PM

will you spend all 3 hours referring to yourself in the 3rd person?

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APM gotta do what APM gotta do.***


Oct 8, 2019, 1:48 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Ethically you owe it to all paries involved


Oct 8, 2019, 1:49 PM

To post tiddies in the jounge.

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I got you fam***


Oct 8, 2019, 1:51 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Sounds like this other dude kind of screwed you over.


Oct 8, 2019, 1:57 PM

If that’s the case, I’d try to get revenge in a most satisfying way. Maybe treat him to Chipotle before his presentation or something.

For real, I would exact revenge on a guy if he screwed me over. Revenge is very underrated. But regarding the conference, do it or not because that’s what you want to do, but no way I’d have any involvement with the other dude while doing so, unless you can work out the Chipotle thing.

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Guys like that will whine the loudest when they think


Oct 8, 2019, 2:03 PM

they've been wronged too. Makes them that much more hate-able. These types are a close relative to the 'force you to be an assshole' folks.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-lakebum1-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

are you two lovers?***


Oct 8, 2019, 2:16 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-willmo.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up




Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!


follow up question


Oct 8, 2019, 2:18 PM

are you two potential lovers?

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Re: follow up question


Oct 8, 2019, 2:18 PM

are you two former lovers?

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Two question:


Oct 8, 2019, 2:20 PM

will this conference teach you how to shoot ropes back at your own face?


will this conference keep me from constantly confusing you with tigermanac?

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


it would be a better situation for you if you


Oct 8, 2019, 2:22 PM

were the type to take full advantage of the open bar situations.

But to your question, just say no. Really not any of their business why not.

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^^^leaning toward this^^^***


Oct 8, 2019, 4:12 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Option 4.


Oct 8, 2019, 2:32 PM

Commit a heinous, newsworthy crime, go to prison, and I guarantee you that the conference invites dry up quickly and you'll never be bothered with it again.


PROBLEM. SOLVED.

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Or have your association with the junge made known pubicly***


Oct 8, 2019, 2:38 PM



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Trust me, that doesn't work.


Oct 8, 2019, 2:39 PM

I just get asked to speak at some really weird conferences.

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getting some of that stuff through the TSA must be tricky***


Oct 8, 2019, 2:51 PM



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Sounds like these are merely surface symptoms of deep


Oct 8, 2019, 2:41 PM

underlying issues. Recommend a minimum of three 2 hour one on one therapy sessions per week for 6 or more months coupled with group sessions at least once a week to continue indefinitely.

I’m sure you can find the number for a suitable therapist in your local yellow pages or on the wall of the handicapped stall at your closest truck stop.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-cu85tiger.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
Isaac Asimov


sounds like a pricing issue. There should be a rate where


Oct 8, 2019, 3:21 PM

It is worth your while, and anything less is a no.

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null


this is a good answer.***


Oct 8, 2019, 6:07 PM



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Forgive me if I don't have all the facts right, but it seems


Oct 8, 2019, 3:36 PM

to me:
1. You don't want to do it alone next year.
2. You will do it next year if he partners with you.
3. You don't like his inconsistency.
4. You have some hesitation in saying 'no' without first talking with him.
5. He is not responding.

I admire #4. Certainly you can make your life easier by just saying no and moving on, and no one could blame you. But regardless of your partner's inconsistency you feel a sense of commitment to him and to the conference, and you want to live up to it. If I have all this right, why not do this:

To his voice mail: "Hey Brian, I have a decision to make here. They want me to do the conference again next year, but I can't say yes to doing it alone like I am this year. I need to talk to you before telling them yes or no. If I don't hear from you by the end of the conference, no problem, I will assume you don't want to continue with this and I will probably tell them 'no'. No sweat. I hope you are doing great, and I look forward to seeing you again. Tell Julie I said hi."

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You’ve read it correctly. But hoping he’ll play differently than he has is pointless.***


Oct 8, 2019, 4:14 PM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


you lost me at ethical***


Oct 8, 2019, 4:01 PM



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1. If they continue, unload on them. Luckily for me


Oct 8, 2019, 4:20 PM

I go to all the conferences, I know darn near everyone, and no one wants me to speak. I get 3 days of free booze and food, well suppers anyway. After 20 years of going to the same conference, I now know all the "old guys" better than the young whipper snappers.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


I'm reading between the lines here, but.......


Oct 8, 2019, 6:19 PM

You're speaking at a Young Living brainwashing/reprogramming convention aren't you?

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had to look that up, but um.....no.***


Oct 9, 2019, 9:22 AM



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg2016_nascar_champ.gif flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Tell them who you want to assist and pick out...


Oct 8, 2019, 6:22 PM

someone you know you can get along with and who will actually contribute to the project. You're in a position.

When a builder asked me to price a job or a prospective customer asked me to build a house, if I didn't want to work with them I would estimate in dollar amounts just how much they should pay to purchase my ability to tolerate them. Sometimes it was saying no with a number.

You're in exactly the same position. They want something from you and you can get what you want from them or the deal doesn't happen. You're in the same place as now without hurting their feelings or piszing them off.

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