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YOUR BALANCE
Lakebum, lemme give you a little crystal ball on your next
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Lakebum, lemme give you a little crystal ball on your next


Aug 30, 2016, 12:07 PM

few years, as it pertains to boating.

Soon, you'll get married, and in the summer it's all boating, all the time. Your single friends slowly fade out of your life, and if you're lucky, you'll meet another married couple or two where you like both the guy and the girl. Maybe they come out on the boat some too, but whether it's solo or with friends, it's just 12 hours on the lake every day from Friday to Sunday for a few years. You're like "awesome, this will never change"

Then kid #1 comes. Wife doesn't feel like going out on the lake and she's worried about the baby getting too hot. Next thing you know, 3 years have passed and you might have taken the boat out a couple times a year by yourself.

Now kid number one is three and can handle a life jacket...maybe you've taken them to the pool and they seem to love the water. That's great----until kid #2 comes. Rinse and repeat on your time on the water for 3 more years.

Finally, you're six years down the road, kid 1 is 6, kid 2 is 3, and you're ready to resume boating.....great, until kid 1 starts having teeball and soccer games every Saturday. Maybe you're lucky and their league has practices/games during the week. Unfortunately that was also when you were doing your yardwork and house projects in an attempt to free up your weekends.

Bottom line, from the moment kid one pops out to the moment your youngest graduates high school, you're lucky to get 5 good weekends a year on the water. Sucks, but c'est la vie. You might even start to understand how these "boat membership" clubs do so well.

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SRS/11, we have a lakehouse about an hour from here and have


Aug 30, 2016, 12:09 PM

been once or twice a year for the past 3-4 years. Kids ruin everything.

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Wateree?***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:14 PM



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naw Monica, we UDP. Monticello***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:15 PM



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Here comes the obligatory


Aug 30, 2016, 12:11 PM

that won't happen to me!! That all pre-married men say.

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I like your funny words magic man


I went from 100 days/year on the water to


Aug 30, 2016, 12:18 PM

selling my boat.

I was actually good to go through kid #2. I mean, wife wasn't SUPER happy with it but whatevs. This whole thing did not survive child 3.

*Note: I lived .5 mile from lake and rarely drank on boat...was a hard core fisherman. So like a "day" could have been 14 hours, could have been 5 hours for purposes of quantifying the 100 above.

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Did you have a bass boat?


Aug 30, 2016, 12:21 PM

If so, that was probably your problem. Every chick I've ever seen on a bass boat looks miserable.

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Saw a girl sitting in the front of a bass boat on the Green


Aug 30, 2016, 12:27 PM

River in Kentucky a few months ago. Guy was pushing that POS boat up the river with a 1/2 HP trawling motor. The girl looked worse than miserable. She looked straight-up kidnapped. The guy gave us a look like "DON'T LOOKIT HUR. I FOUND HUR, SHE'S MAHN."

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Ya but it the type of boat doesn't matter


Aug 30, 2016, 12:41 PM [ in reply to Did you have a bass boat? ]

obviously a bass boat ain't good for anything but fishing....but life my man. Life'll slow all that shat down.

Simply gets way too hard to be pot committed on a hobby. Any hobby. At least like you can be pre-kids.

Sheyatt, it's hard for me to even get to DV for games anymore. I mean I get back for a few, normally make an away game, and get to most bowls....but it's fugging hard.

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I can understand this being a typical scenario, but where I


Aug 30, 2016, 12:19 PM

differ is that I am a true lakebum, from a long line of lakebums. Travel soccer tournaments were missed in lieu of going to the lake. Growing up, it wasn't even an option. I wouldn't be shocked if my sisters and I swam before we walked. I've pretty much been driving boats my entire life, definitely since I can remember. My grandpa got me a jon boat when I was like 8 years old, and we wore that thing out going up and down the Seneca river.

Thankfully, my girlfriend loves the lake almost as much as me. There are days when she doesn't really want to go, but that's her problem, I still go. I can see children affecting it some, but not to that degree. If I had kids, they may not like the lake at first, but they'll learn to love it, because they won't have another option. They can quit going out to the lake when they're grown, but if that were the case I would be sincerely worried they weren't mine.

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Oh sweet sweet child***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:21 PM



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I respect your opinion, and Ima let you finish, so let's


Aug 30, 2016, 12:22 PM [ in reply to I can understand this being a typical scenario, but where I ]

just file this one away and come back to it in a few years.

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We should be able to do a t-net search for this thread in


Aug 30, 2016, 12:24 PM

2019 or so and easily find it. (sarcasmfont)

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one of those reddit remindme bots would be GREAT for this***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:25 PM



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I think you underestimate the degree to which this is


Aug 30, 2016, 12:24 PM [ in reply to I respect your opinion, and Ima let you finish, so let's ]

ingrained in my families culture. If I'm only making it out to the water 5 weekends a year, I'm leaving my wife and children.

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ah yes, the old leave wife and kids...in that case


Aug 30, 2016, 12:25 PM

she will get your boat in the divorce settlement.

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I know my girlfriend, she wouldn't want to live in hiding


Aug 30, 2016, 12:33 PM

for the rest of her life. We're a looong way from having children, if ever, so I ain't even worried right now anyway. However, I don't think I'd be cool with letting kids run my life to the degree that many do. If little Omar(and that is what I will name my son) isn't going to be the next David Beckham, I don't see the point in spending our every weekend traveling gods creation for his tournaments.

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Omar? Are you just trying to get your kid automatically on


Aug 30, 2016, 12:40 PM

every no-fly list?

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Man, back in my day Omar was more street than terrorist


Aug 30, 2016, 12:45 PM

My how times change.

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Lollers, kid truthers trip me out. Here's the dealio


Aug 30, 2016, 12:47 PM [ in reply to I know my girlfriend, she wouldn't want to live in hiding ]

you WILL be having kids much sooner than you think. ALL (nearly) men say the same thing. And the women will say the shat you want to hear.

Fast forward to about 1-2 years in marriage. I WANT KIDS I WANT KIDS I WANT KIDS MY CLOCK IS TICKING I WANT KIDS and so you have kids.

Omar may not be the next pele, no problem. You'll want a well rounded kid though right? I mean, you aren't going to crate him and put him on a boat 52 weeks/year. Will he have friends? Sleepovers? Go to birthday parties? Clemson games? Will he get to at least try a few sports? Baseball? Hoops? Football? Soccer? How about a bomb making class? Judo? Ghana have him in church? Maybe he gets into music, arts, hunting, camping, riding motorcycles. Guess what else....your family will be around more. And you'll be around them more. More time gone.

Your wife will start hanging out with Milfs that also have little Omars. They ghana get together and want to let the little Omars train for the jihad together while they lick each other's carpet.

I could go on and on and on man. Just wait, you'll see.

Act now. Cancel the wedding, ditch the girl, pawn the ring, and boatprofit forever.

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Re: Lollers, kid truthers trip me out. Here's the dealio


Aug 30, 2016, 12:48 PM

They ghana get together and want to let the little Omars train for the jihad together while they lick each other's carpet.





....go on.....

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I like your funny words magic man


No to mention, kids are asspensive as heyull.


Aug 30, 2016, 12:52 PM [ in reply to Lollers, kid truthers trip me out. Here's the dealio ]

Fuggin daycare takes up a majority of my play around money. Then they grow to cottam fast and need new clothes, new shoes, you gotta fuggin feed them...house needs to be bigger. Shiz, life changes with kids for the good and the bad.

#GottaGetThemOutOfDaycare
#OneMoreYearWithTwoInDaycare

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Whack-A-Mole


Aug 30, 2016, 12:55 PM

rid yourself of daycare and they will spend it in other ways. TRUUUUUUUUUST me when I tellya they only continue to get more and more and more expensive.

Wait until they are in school with dress code (collared shirts) and they outgrow EVERYTHING THEY OWN every 6 months. Then all 7 of them will need some sweet new Nikes too.

Lunch money? Wait until you deposit $1000 in lunch money accounts for 3 kids in August and it's empty in March.

Sweatergod I spent $2000 on getting the kids back in school between fees, lunch money, clothes, supplies, etc.

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I spent $13k in cold hard cash last year for daycare


Aug 30, 2016, 12:57 PM

so $2k for clothes and chit for school aint bad. Also, $13k is apparently a bargain compared to other places.

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At least it's tax deductible


Aug 30, 2016, 1:01 PM

then you'll have a teenager that will hit you up for $20 seemingly 4 times a week. A $300 grocery run is destroyed in about 4 days. Out to eat somewhere? Fast food, which is rare...seemingly impossible for under $30. A sitdown somewhere? $100. Every time.

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I'm now paying a nanny 2K/mo since the wife went back to


Aug 30, 2016, 1:06 PM [ in reply to I spent $13k in cold hard cash last year for daycare ]

work. We'll be living in a van down by the river by new years at the rate we're hemorrhaging cash.

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That must be EXCEPTIONAL "service"***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:08 PM



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I like your funny words magic man


$2k per month for ONE child? HAHAHAHAHAHA


Aug 30, 2016, 1:26 PM [ in reply to I'm now paying a nanny 2K/mo since the wife went back to ]

Where do you live?

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And as a follow up is your nanny an 18 yr old Estonian


Aug 30, 2016, 1:27 PM

blonde skinny chick with big tattties and a hairy bush and can you post pigs please?

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Charleston. Now this is for about 40 hrs/week


Aug 30, 2016, 1:27 PM [ in reply to $2k per month for ONE child? HAHAHAHAHAHA ]

hourly it's only like 14/hr, cheap for this town apparently. It's only until wife finds new job that's not 7a-7p so we can do daycare.

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FML, your cottam name is CHarlestonTiger and I axed where


Aug 30, 2016, 1:28 PM

you live. FML FML FML.

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Only other option would be daycare + paying someone


Aug 30, 2016, 1:29 PM [ in reply to Charleston. Now this is for about 40 hrs/week ]

to pick the kid up and take them home and watch for a few hours 3 days/week. Also wife currently works some weekends, so we're F'd all around.

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This sounds like the stereotypical suburban white people


Aug 30, 2016, 12:54 PM [ in reply to Lollers, kid truthers trip me out. Here's the dealio ]

lifestyle, which lakebum and his soon to be fiance both agree they will not be a part of. Sleepovers and what not can be done during the school year. Clemson games may be reserved for multi-millionaires at that point, so we may be out. I can see doing some sports, sure, but not these year round travel deals where you are forced to spend all of your disposable income and free time partaking in it. Also, my family lives on the lake. I could be down for more family time if they had a double slip dock.

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sounds feasible to me


Aug 30, 2016, 12:56 PM

No son, you cannot have nor attend a sleepover on a Friday or Saturday night for 9.5 months out of the year.

ok.

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Priorities change, just part of being a husband and being a


Aug 30, 2016, 12:59 PM [ in reply to This sounds like the stereotypical suburban white people ]

dad. Providing for your family by sacrificing your own needs and wants isn't something that anyone sees himself doing, it just sort of happens. Especially if you work a ton, every minute you can spend with those people is worth giving up almost anything for.

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If that's the case, it sounds like keeping the boat and not


Aug 30, 2016, 1:02 PM

doing all of that other sheet TRDJ says is a part of fatherhood makes the most sense.

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keeping the boat coupled with maintaining your single


Aug 30, 2016, 1:03 PM

status will make the most sense for you. Trust me.

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Do you drive a minivan?***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:06 PM



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Not as a primary


Aug 30, 2016, 1:09 PM

there is one in my fleet though. Along with a Suburban and a company car.

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You seem like a man who needs a boat***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:19 PM



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yeafuckyea I do


Aug 30, 2016, 1:23 PM

but I treat a boat like I treat a lake house and season tickets anymore. Used to have all 3. Now I try to take every opportunity I can to fish or boat or hang at someone's lake house when invited. I go to every game I can and when I do I try to primo park and sit on the lower fiddy.

I just can't justify full ownership of any of those things based on usage anymore. Next time you take me out on your boat I'll buy all the beer and gas and prolly will bring you a new bong to show my appreciation. Much cheaper than keeping a boat I only use 5-8 times per year nomesayin?

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I disagree.


Aug 30, 2016, 1:09 PM [ in reply to keeping the boat coupled with maintaining your single ]

My wife loves going out in the boat. She doesn't care about washing it, but I can get past that.

No kids. No desire for them for either of us.

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Seems like you would have had this conversation before


Aug 30, 2016, 1:06 PM [ in reply to Lollers, kid truthers trip me out. Here's the dealio ]

marriage.

I think you need to decide if its a deal breaker prior to the marriage. If it is, well, then you're not compatible.

The only good thing is that in SC, that's ground for a 90 day divorce.

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No issues with my situation, but I've seen the cycle play


Aug 30, 2016, 1:13 PM

out a LOT.

I think most parents would tell you they had kids sooner than they thought at one point they would.

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I'm not ready to totally rule out having kids or anything


Aug 30, 2016, 1:13 PM [ in reply to Seems like you would have had this conversation before ]

But I also don't think it has to be a total game changer for every facet of your life, either. I know my parents didn't dedicate their every waking moment to whatever their kids wanted to do, we went to the lake on the weekends ######, and it wasn't up for debate. I'm sure their parents were the same way.

I'm sure a lot does change, but you don't have to do all of this other sheet, either. They won't even remember half of it when they grow up.

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You are half correct


Aug 30, 2016, 1:14 PM

Correct that it is not a total game changer for every facet of your life. Also correct that you don't have to do everything the kids want to. I don't think most people fall into that bucket, that's a bit extreme.

It IS a total game changer in general though. You'll only understand when you get there.

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"You'll only understand when you get there. "


Aug 30, 2016, 1:16 PM

Probably the most annoying thing new parents say to others.

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Is troof***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:17 PM



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but it really is extremely accurate


Aug 30, 2016, 1:20 PM [ in reply to "You'll only understand when you get there. " ]

you never really know what all it entails until you are holding your (for me) daughter for the first time and thinking, my old life is now over and I'm perfectly ok with that.

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I like your funny words magic man


Did you all but cease doing everything you enjoy?***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:20 PM



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Everything I use to enjoy has be replaced


Aug 30, 2016, 1:22 PM

by spending time with my daughter. I enjoy that more.

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I like your funny words magic man


Just judging by the posts in this thread, you and I are a


Aug 30, 2016, 1:24 PM

totally different person, so I'm not sure your happenings in life will be applicable to me.

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That seems like an accurate statement


Aug 30, 2016, 1:28 PM

I know we're giving you a lot of #### on here, but in all honesty, I said the exact same thing you did. It's not that you are "giving up" what you love. You just find something better to replace it. Good luck.

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I like your funny words magic man


true - I don't get why parents haul kids around


Aug 30, 2016, 1:21 PM [ in reply to I'm not ready to totally rule out having kids or anything ]

to all these expensive touristy places before they are about 12 years old.

Do any of you remember great detailed joy from $3K family trips to Disney when you were 5? My parents took me and my brother to Washington DC for a week when I was about 8 to see all the historic sites. The only clear recollection I have from that trip is meeting my first homeless man on a park bench and how pissed my parents were that I decided to sit down and converse with him.

My kid memories are all from stuff I did around home - fishing, hunting, baseball, pets, riding bikes.

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And those trips were a PIA to everyone.


Aug 30, 2016, 1:24 PM

The best times were always the most simplest. We never did many of those big trips, but did a lot of hunting/fishing/sports stuff. Always better memories.

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It's not just boating.


Aug 30, 2016, 12:32 PM [ in reply to I respect your opinion, and Ima let you finish, so let's ]

IT'S EVERYTHING YOU DO THAT HAS ANY ELEMENT OF FUN ATTACHED TO IT.


I went from two practices during the week, playing a standing gig at a local bar on Thursday nights and running an open mic on Friday nights at another bar to looking at rusty strings on my dust-covered instruments years later when Joonyer went off to college and I decided to start playing regularly again. I also went to play golf every day after work once he went off to Clemson, and we started going out to shows and trying new restaurants or getting together with partying friends on weekends. It circles back around. BUT...I would not trade a single second of those days of raising the boy. There are plenty of painful moments, but even more great moments.

The funny thing for me now is that my lead guitarist and long time friend whose house we practice at and all the gear stays set up in his studio is a 56 year old first time father of a 2 year old daughter. We can only practice certain nights, after a certain time, and no drums after dark.

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56 year old first time father of a 2 year old daughter??


Aug 30, 2016, 1:07 PM

Holy crap.

That's a suicide recipe right there.

I can't imagine chasing around kids at 60 years old. And he'll literally never retire. ever.

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Yessir.


Aug 30, 2016, 2:32 PM

He'll be in a wheelchair and drooling on the gymnasium floor when his daughter graduates high school. At least, that's what we tell him every time the band practices.

But retire, he's already done that. He was off to work a couple of years ago during the last big ice storm here, guy in a brand new mustang tries to gun it to get up a big hill and comes sliding across and hits him driver's door to my buddy's front end. Buddy is driving an old Tahoe, and that saved him. Mustang boy was brain dead at the scene and they pulled his plug a few days later. I watched my buddy go through surgeries and rehab, and I can tell you the incredible insurance pay out that he got and hasn't worked since wasn't worth it. He could have long gone back to work, but doesn't have to, his wife is pretty highly sought after paralegal and works to keep benefits, but they both took a couple of years off without working and didn't suffer financially at all. He teaches a few guitar lessons, but he's mostly a stay at home Dad and an erstwhile aging rock star.

He'll probably live longer than if the accident had never happened and he HAD to work.

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Its good it worked out for him.


Aug 30, 2016, 2:35 PM

Sounds like it easily couldn't have.

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The first call he got that morning was that the plant was


Aug 21, 2012, 5:44 AM

not open, and an hour later when the boss noticed that traffic was moving around town, he got a call to come in. Like I said though, NOT.WORTH. IT. He managed a gym for years and was always in great shape. After a solid year of surgery and rehab, he walks with a limp, and can't last more than a couple of hours tops with a guitar strapped on. He almost never played acoustic until after the accident, but we now have an acoustic set so he can sit with a nice light guitar resting on his lap.

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This


Aug 30, 2016, 12:28 PM [ in reply to I can understand this being a typical scenario, but where I ]

There are days when she doesn't really want to go, but that's her problem, I still go.



Won't last long.

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I like your funny words magic man


lulz, anyone who knows me well would beg to differ***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:35 PM



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I'm starting to think several of the guys in the lunge are


Aug 30, 2016, 12:37 PM

p#### and kid whipped.

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I have a woman


Aug 30, 2016, 12:40 PM

who is willing to give me sex for free.

I'm holding on to that.

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I like your funny words magic man


well, that's certainly one way to put the process in which


Aug 30, 2016, 12:41 PM [ in reply to I'm starting to think several of the guys in the lunge are ]

one doesn't get married more times than Liz Taylor.

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Yeah, I mean, I don't think you have to be a total pushover


Aug 30, 2016, 12:48 PM

to stay married though. Although, it does seem to be a trend that is gaining momentum. You can have a healthy relationship without catering to your ladies every beck and call.

Personally, I like the give and take philosophy. For instance, I had to watch 2 hours of the bachelorette one night. In return, she has driven my drunk ### home from the lake all summer.

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Yes, marriage is give and take..........


Aug 30, 2016, 1:03 PM

I do stuff that's not my first choice for her, and she does the same for me.

That's why my crystal ball didn't focus on marriage---you guys will have a blast. I'm just saying, kids change a whole lot of things.

Here's the deal, in this scenario, one of us is pretty close to correct for how it'll be .

If you're right, you're clearly happy.

If I'm right, the good news is that it sounds like you'll be miserable, but in reality you'll still be loving every minute of it.

So it's a win-win.

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and when he gets to my stage life


Aug 30, 2016, 1:15 PM

kid free is better the second time around.

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agreed....I think some of the smartest people in the world


Aug 30, 2016, 1:37 PM

are those that figure out it ain't gonna work before they have kids. (No insult intended to those who didn't.)

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^^^^OOH NOO HE DIT-AAAAANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:48 PM [ in reply to well, that's certainly one way to put the process in which ]



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I'll pt you because I'm not ashamed of my life or the fact


Aug 30, 2016, 1:14 PM [ in reply to well, that's certainly one way to put the process in which ]

I correct mistakes I've made.

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There was zero attempt to shame you, just pointing out the


Aug 30, 2016, 1:29 PM

tomato/tomahto aspect of your comment.

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I'm not worried for you.


Aug 30, 2016, 12:42 PM [ in reply to I can understand this being a typical scenario, but where I ]

I have a 2.463 year old and I went fishing Friday and Saturday last week. We spent part of the day with McJunior on Sunday at the lake. No lake this week, but fishing and alligator hunting all next weekend. I bought my boat last year and probably have 60 hours on it?

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I think we got ours around the same time


Aug 30, 2016, 12:44 PM

I got mine last January...Hit 210 hours this weekend. Now, I can definitely understand that amount of time going down, but not to 5 weekends a year.

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Mine was May last year....210 is insane but I understand


Aug 30, 2016, 12:49 PM

it's not like you're fishing from it like I am. 1/2 of my hours are alligator hunting probably. Just think.... 210 hrs at 5.0 gph (cruising rough estimate). That is $2,100 in fuel in one year. Very impressive.

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Well I said last January, I meant January of 2015


Aug 30, 2016, 12:56 PM

So really almost 2 full boating seasons. We stay on it a good bit, it's our little getaway. We love going out by the ### and just sitting as far away from shore as possible. I'd love to get an outboard so we could take it to the coast some.

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Well, he could not have kids.


Aug 30, 2016, 12:55 PM

That seems like the easy answer here.

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It really does. The way society is trending, within the next


Aug 30, 2016, 12:58 PM

few years I may be eligible for child abuse charges for not catering to their every whim. No thanks.

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And even if you had a kid 9 months from now...


Aug 30, 2016, 2:37 PM

you won;t be able to afford to send them to college anyway, because it'll cost eleventeen brazillion dollars to even get a degree in coloring book by then.

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Which is even more reason to keep their little azzes at the


Aug 30, 2016, 2:41 PM

lake so they can learn to hunt and fish. They'll be the only ones able to survive when a solar flair knocks out electricity,.

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After the divorce life will resume as normal***


Aug 30, 2016, 12:55 PM



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Yep, the "new normal"


Aug 30, 2016, 12:59 PM

including a sweet new camera, a dying thirst to visit waterfalls, a convertible VW Golf, and a yearning to drive aimlessly around in North Carolina.

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And apparently being mounted while taking photos***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:00 PM



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I mean look at the alternative***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:04 PM



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Getting your b hole rammed is better than no sex at all?***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:20 PM



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lol no sex at all


Aug 30, 2016, 1:22 PM

I missed the part were only married people ###

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I meant while you were married obvi***


Aug 30, 2016, 1:25 PM



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Oh so now that we're not being sarcastic


Aug 30, 2016, 1:31 PM

being divorced has been great other than only seeing the kids half the time. I've done more, gone more places / on vacations, gone to more Clemson games, bought more toys, been more stress free, gotten higher evals and raises at my job, and overall happier than I ever was married and I did that chit for 15 yrs.

No the camera isn't shiny and new but I use it more now than ever, The S2000 has been fun as #### to drive and Im glad I afforded myself the opportunity to buy it, the hiking all over the foothills of SC and blue ridge of NC is a rewarding way to spend my free time.


So yes being single (mounted) is much betting than being married (having sex, as you put it)

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Re: Lakebum, lemme give you a little crystal ball on your next


Aug 30, 2016, 2:15 PM

I must have an awesome wife and hit jackpot.

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Its probably the light bar***


Aug 30, 2016, 2:32 PM



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Nothing would make me fall in love all over again with wifey


Aug 30, 2016, 2:33 PM [ in reply to Re: Lakebum, lemme give you a little crystal ball on your next ]

than moving to Detroit. NOTHING.

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