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Hall of Famer [23994]
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You know what never gets old
Apr 25, 2018, 1:31 PM
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Hearing y'alls stories about almost ######## your pants.
and 'ave atthews and'
and 7spots rants
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Oculus Spirit [75714]
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At least two of those are true.
Apr 25, 2018, 1:34 PM
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One is just as awful as milk in the freezer.
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Orange Blooded [3184]
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One time I was walking through a marsh in Charleston
Apr 25, 2018, 1:37 PM
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My roommate at the time had a golden retriever who was walking with me.
I had had Five guys earlier that day. All of a sudden, while out in the middle of the marsh in view of the passersby on the highway (Harbor View area), I had a chit pain that hit me.
I couldn't do anything but take cover and squat. I didn't have tissue, so I took my sock off and wiped the green slime out of my bwhole. I don't think anyone saw me, except the golden retriever who was all like ###?
Anywho I discarded the sock and started walking back home, when the golden retriever darted towards where I had thrown the sock. His breath smelled like my poop.
The end.
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Hall of Famer [23994]
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Re: One time I was walking through a marsh in Charleston
Apr 25, 2018, 1:38 PM
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I believe this because there's always someone walking through the marsh off of harborview
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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Joined: 8/29/12
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I was in Buy Buy Baby
Apr 25, 2018, 1:41 PM
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I can't remember what we had eaten but it was summer. When Tickle_it gets overheated, he doesn't get a heat stroke or sweat profusely, his body decides that the best way to cool down is to dump EVERYTHING in the stomach.
We were shopping for some dumb #### in there, I don't remember. But I had the warning shot in Buy Buy baby, which is a sharp stomach pains and cramps and then a hard poop. I know it won't be long til the liquid comes. I had told myself I was fine though. I wasn't. Left the store and tried to drive home. Had to pull into Bi-Lo and jump out in front of the store and run in. Told the wife to drive it to a parking spot.
I got to theshitter and it was a Donald Trump term for a 3rd world country. Complete with puke beside the terlit from where someone else had chundered. That made things pleasant. But this wasn't waiting. I dropped my pants to the floor, held the handicap rail and aimed the best I could while bent over the waste catcher. My thighs were sore afterwards for squatting for so long. Took a while to get that nice liquidass/puke smell out of my nose hairs.
The End.
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CU Medallion [55734]
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that is the reason I avoided the Kroger restroom
Apr 25, 2018, 1:56 PM
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but Ida felt better if ida used it.
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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I still had about another 20 minutes of drive time
Apr 25, 2018, 1:58 PM
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Was not going to make it home.
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CU Medallion [50635]
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lol almost***
Apr 25, 2018, 1:43 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79428]
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Here's a good one I think you'll enjoy
Apr 25, 2018, 1:45 PM
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Douglas had to poop. His butt was all stinky because he had to poop so badly. There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked, and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop." "Okay," Rebecca replied, "I like poop." Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's ##### looking like a wiener.
"Why are we here?" Douglas cried as poop came out his wiener in a long, thin strip. It was wiener poop, which is the grossest poop of all. The pee-pee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her #####. And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt. And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after. THE END
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Orange Blooded [3184]
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this will never not make me lol***
Apr 25, 2018, 1:45 PM
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CU Medallion [54758]
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CU Medallion [54758]
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a lady-frand of told me this past weekend that she
Apr 25, 2018, 1:50 PM
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shat her pants 3 times the previous week, because of butt-flu while south of the mexi-wall.
no 'almosts' about it.
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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When was the last time she did ####?***
Apr 25, 2018, 1:52 PM
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CU Medallion [54758]
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it didn't come up.
Apr 25, 2018, 1:53 PM
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the #### part anyway.
other things came up, tho.
I'm talking about my weanus.
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CU Medallion [54758]
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that said she said that while she avoided drinking the water
Apr 25, 2018, 1:58 PM
[ in reply to When was the last time she did ####?*** ] |
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she said some might've gotten in her mouf in the shower and she swallowed.
I axed her if she normally swallows stuff that ends up in her mouth in the shower.
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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and she said...........***
Apr 25, 2018, 2:02 PM
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CU Medallion [54758]
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not sure, as it was hard to understand
Apr 25, 2018, 2:38 PM
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since my ears were ringing from when SheGUAR hit me upside the head
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Orange Blooded [3184]
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Hot
Apr 25, 2018, 1:54 PM
[ in reply to a lady-frand of told me this past weekend that she ] |
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you know what I'd do? I'd take her to a nice motel room with that shid in her pants. Rip her britches off and make her shid again on the bed. And then rub her hair in it and then sniff her hair while we were in the doggystyle position. Then we'd reverse cowgirl and id make her shid in my pubes.
Nomsaying?
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Re: You know what never gets old
Apr 25, 2018, 1:54 PM
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I was building a tree-house with my brother and a friend in my formative years. I had been asking mamaAdidas if I could switch from tighty-whities to boxer shorts and she finally bought me some. One was a pair of black silk boxers off the clearance rack at TJ Maxx. They were super wide-leg with practically no inseam. In hindsight, they were probably meant for some sort of gay man lingerie or something.
I was up in the tree, with brother and friend down below. I thought it would be funny to rip a huge fart, but I sprayed diarrhea instead. Since I was wearing gym shorts and these skimpy black silk boxers, the shiit went everywhere.
I hope you enjoyed my story.
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CU Medallion [55734]
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so you still have some of these fancy drawers then?
Apr 25, 2018, 1:57 PM
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sound comfy
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Re: so you still have some of these fancy drawers then?
Apr 25, 2018, 2:24 PM
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No, they're probably still hanging on a tree limb in the woods behind my dad's house.
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All-In [47750]
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I just had a three-drake.
Apr 25, 2018, 2:47 PM
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Hall of Famer [22940]
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Strom Thurmond's girlfriends?***
Apr 25, 2018, 3:53 PM
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50
