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Replies: 14
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All-In [43577]
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Lakebum here’s some babby advice from a latino
Sep 28, 2019, 8:08 AM
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And you know we like to have lots o babbies.
It only cries for a few reasons:
Sleepy
Hungry
Needs to fart
Has shat/pissed it’s drawers
And that will be your guide until it turns 10. After that, beat it with jumper cables when it cries.
Congrats my man. Make sure it learns to have earnest distrust of authority. Grace it with the sweet smell of weed. And I beg you, START NOW in preaching from the book of eye:85, specifically the passage about left hand lane use. It’s never too early for good life lessons.
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All-In [43577]
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Ah, forgot one.
Sep 28, 2019, 8:10 AM
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It really IS good form to remind your wife about the post delivery beej she owes you. Don’t let your efforts throughout all of this go unappreciated.
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CU Medallion [54011]
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There’s also the, “you’re not mama” cry.
Sep 28, 2019, 8:11 AM
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That one sucks for dads until we get used to it and come to a mutual agreement that we are not the mama but we’re the next best thing. Sorry kiddo, we have niqqles but they don’t work like her’s do.
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Orange Blooded [4356]
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i learned to love that one??***
Sep 28, 2019, 8:13 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97670]
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All-In [34486]
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I can attest to the beating with jumper cables advice
Sep 28, 2019, 8:26 AM
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That's how I was raised and I turned out GREAT.
My dad in particular is getting slower, weaker, and harder of hearing every day it seems. The other day I told him to avoid touching the rails on the back steps because I had just painted them, but he didn't hear any of it, and when he got paint all over his sleeve he beat the living #### out of me with a set of jumper cables, just like the good old day. He said "I may be old but you're still a punk!"
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All-TigerNet [12098]
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Why is it when your dad skillfully applies the jumper cables
Sep 28, 2019, 9:47 AM
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it’s good discipline but when you show up at the nursing home with a set to train your old dad not to #### his pants, they lock you up?
Hey! I’m just following your example Dad.
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Oculus Spirit [97670]
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You get numb to the crying.
Sep 28, 2019, 9:16 AM
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Really you learn the difference between a hurt/fever/I'm about to barf cry and I wanted a grape popsicle not a red one cry. If the later become too frequent you're not ignoring them consistently enough. If that doesn't work, spanking solves things. By 10yo they should only cry if someone dies or a bone breaks or they get hurt enough to go to the ER.
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All-TigerNet [10149]
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Re: Lakebum here’s some babby advice from a latino
Sep 28, 2019, 9:52 AM
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Congrats lakebum!
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Oculus Spirit [93608]
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Don't tell him about teething.
Sep 28, 2019, 10:14 AM
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He'll think he raising a raging, uncontrollable brat.
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Oculus Spirit [97670]
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Ours get a free pass until 2yo
Sep 28, 2019, 10:51 AM
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You can usually make the brat call by 5 or 6.
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Oculus Spirit [93608]
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You can prevent that with a fly swatter and one word.
Sep 28, 2019, 12:08 PM
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If they don't know what 'NO,' means before they are two years old you can predict a raging brat. There is a great measure of management which attends that concept. Never trick them into doing anything and never trick them to get them to stop doing something unless their safety is on the line.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. The plastic fly swatter makes a horrific noise when it's properly applied to the smooth backside of a vinyl/plastic faced diaper. It only hurts their pride.
Small children are easy, it's the teens that cause a man to gray and go bald.
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Oculus Spirit [97670]
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I've never spanked before 3yo.
Sep 28, 2019, 12:10 PM
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I need to know they know before I resort to that level of punishment.
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Legend [17449]
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Legend [17882]
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Never forget this one either
Sep 28, 2019, 12:19 PM
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Babies means GRAND babies one day! So, when you get that "urge" to help your children fulfill their dream of not making it to 12, remember there will be GRAND babies one day. You will not regret the GRAND babies.
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!
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