Topic: I have hope again... (long)
Replies: 21   Last Post: Jan 13, 2017 6:47 AM by: Oculus
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I have hope again... (long)

emoji_events [87]
Posted: Jan 11, 2017 11:34 PM

First off, not to say I told you so but...


I know A LOT of people felt we were going to win the National Title on Monday but I KNEW it was going to happen. The one thing I left out in my post was that I dreamed it. Even though I did tell a few people back in November.

Note: I'm really going to put myself out there with this post so save your negativity.

2016 was a ###### up year for me personally. At risk of going into too much detail, I lost two family members, a dog, witnessed another death, & fell into a dark place again as my marriage is ending and my personal life has fallen apart completely.

TBH, I am still not in a good place mentally but as usual, Clemson football was a way for me to escape.

I don't have dreams about the outcomes of games often. I have actually only had three or four. But they're always right. If I dream we win, we win. If I dream we lose, we lose. I usually don't believe it b/c it will seem far fetched but it always happens how I foresee it. The weird thing about the dream I had back in November was that despite the fact we won the game, and I attended it, I was all alone. Everyone was going crazy, jumping around celebrating, partying out into the streets but I had no one to share it with. No one to call. No reason to really enjoy the win like everyone else. That's really the reason why I didn't post about it.

Fast forward... I made it to Tampa. I traveled alone but, as is the case with almost everyone, I met up with Clemson people. My loneliness started to fade slightly. But my ticket was a single and the stress of the game made me think maybe I was wrong, maybe running into people I sit with at home games and old friends was a jinx. As I sat there alone in the sea of orange trailing 14-0... I felt the last little bit hope I had been hanging on to, start to slip away. I said a prayer, not to win or anything like that but I asked God to just give me hope that I'll be okay. That my life will actually change for the best this time. That some how, some way, this #### storm I'm dealing with mentally WILL work out for me and I can have peace.

Not too long after that, the game started to change. Momentum shifted and we got on the board. At some point in the third quarter the crowd seemed to morph. It actually felt like the crowd went from 60/40 Clemson to like 75/25... It is impossible to explain but I think most Clemson fans could feel it happening.

The fourth quarter we would not be denied. When we pooch punted I knew we'd get the three and out. When we took the lead, I knew they weren't done and when they scored and I looked up and saw 2:07 and two timeouts I literally thought to myself "We're going to win this game with no time left." I was wrong here but not by much.

I sat in section 144. Right in the corner of the Clemson end-zone where Mike WIlliams caught his TD, where DW almost flew in for another and where Hunter Renfrow earned "Legend" status.

When the clock hit zero everyone was going nuts. I started high-five'ing everyone in section, possibly stadium. I'm not kidding my hand is still bruised from it and I didn't even feel the pain until Tuesday after I got home.

I have never experienced anything like after that last TD pass. Grown ### men and women were weeping. Not simple tears of joy but like full on ugly crying. People were hugging and jumping up and down like nothing I've ever seen before. I'm not gonna lie, I had some confetti issues as well.

But it was in those moments that I remembered my dream again. In my dream I was alone. In my dream I jumped up and down and celebrated but it quickly passed and I was sad.

It was about that time that Dabo got on the mic and started his speech. He said at one point, "Only God can do this..." and then Ben got on the mic and gave a shout-out to Tahj, Stephon Anthony, Nuk and all the other former players I that's when I realized my dream was wrong. In my dream I was alone. I was not alone. In my dream I was sad. I wasn't anywhere close to sad. In my dream I had lost all hope. I have hope again.

A lot more things happened from when the clock hit zero and when I got home Tuesday night, including watching/listening to the "Homercast" on the watchespn app. If you haven't seen it, go watch it on espn3. Seeing how Tahj reacts as we win is incredibly powerful to me. I know I don't really fit in with that group of players Ben mentioned but in my own way I like to think that I helped at least do something to get us where we are today. I mean, I told CJ Spiller between his JR and SR year at Clemson that if he came back I'd make him a tribute and it worked, you're welcome ;) !

God and I aren't the best of friends but He told me what I needed to hear and I think maybe I'll be okay some day. I could definitely still use some prayers.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Go Tigers!



Much respect, Shoeless

emoji_events [6]
Posted: Jan 12, 2017 12:53 AM

Much respect to lay yourself out like that. You are a legend here, and you will never be alone in this Clemson family! That trophy is just as much yours as it is the team's. For all the time and sacrifice you've put in for the team you love, at the cost of so much...

I hope better things are in store for you soon, brother. Keep on hoping!

Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 1:07 AM

I'm right there with ya bud.

You aren't crazy. God works in mysterious ways. I needed this as well.

2020 student level member

You're in my prayers....

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 6:40 AM


You have given folks here a lot

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 7:07 AM

of joy. Praying that you find as much or more than you have provided to us. Thanks for sharing your story.



Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 7:18 AM

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies"

Shawshank Redemption

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You've never been alone...

emoji_events [9]
Posted: Jan 12, 2017 7:38 AM

Not knowing your situation with the Almighty, I'll refrain from comment. But I will note that 2016 was a crappy year for many, MANY Sons of Clemson. You, me, others who have suffered personal, emotion and financial trials.

You weren't the only man weeping, whose well of emotions after years of wandering fell gently into Hunter's hands with one tick remaining.

And please remember you're never alone. You have the Clemson Family. We're more than tailgate and beer and holding up our hands at the proper time during the alma mater.

We're here.

And you're always welcome.

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Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 8:13 AM

What a neat story, thanks so much for sharing. There are many of us who cried as much as we screamed with joy, actually at my house I think there were more tears. Wonder why and wonder if that's a common reaction for fans in similar situations? Some how I don't think so.

Blessings to you for sharing.

You are in my prayers Shoeless

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 8:31 AM

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

Man, life can really throw some curve balls at you.

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 9:15 AM

Keep your head up. If it's any consolation (and it should be), you have a family of 100k here that love, respect, and cherish your existence. You are a legend, friend.

Glad we could all share in this moment. So grateful for Clemson being there for all of us.

If you ever need anything, you just call. We have your back.

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Shoeless, your not alone

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 10:25 AM

Dabo's message and example has inspired me many times during my own difficulties.

I encourage you to keep fighting for the good and positive in life. Don't let negative energy define your life.

It's hurts but it's possible (and sometimes cleansing) to lose basically everything and still begin anew through faith and action.

Sending prayer's your way!

Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 11:02 AM

It's been a rough couple years for me as well (my marriage ended as well, family issues, etc....) so I know where you're coming from brother. This was huge for me as well. Hope is not a word to use lightly, and you are 100% right, we have hope again.


Wow! God bless you Shoeless. I was in your shoes

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 12:03 PM

in '13 and '14. Lost a best friend to a murder/suicide, another friend to cancer, divorced after 27 years of marriage, spent 12 nights and three surgeries w/my son for a ruptured appendix at the hospital, spent two months giving him his antibiotics in a pick line 3 times daily (2 hrs start to finish). This was just through July. Had to have surgery myself in August for hernia. Couldn't lift more than 15 lbs for two months and no golf ?? Fast forward to 2/15/14. Got a call while at my sons basketball game that my house was on fire. Lost everything.....except lives thank God! Lived in a hotel 68 days, rented a house for 6 months and moved into my current house in November. Had I known all this was coming, I may have just ran. As I type today, I'm in a much better place than I've ever been. God worked it out for me and he'll do the same for you. Keep strong my tiger brother and keep the faith. I'm sure Monday could do nothing but help the spirits of everyone for an abundance reasons besides just the win itself. Go Tigers....2016 Champs!

you've provided so much enjoyment to so many over the years

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 12:12 PM

and these things are in your account.

take them to heart and always hold them close,

for they are your window to a clear conscience, a joyous soul,

and a greater Faith.

be well friend...

Prayers for you Shoeless

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 12:14 PM

You are totally appreciated on TigerNet and we're praying that things will look up for you in 2017 and that you have a fantastic year!

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Shoeless, that is awesome! I think if most of us were honest

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 12:18 PM

on this board we'd say we've all had serious dispair at some point in our lives. But, as silly as it may seem to outsiders, the Clemson Family is a Family, and it sure can make you feel better when you need it!!

Hugs to you & man, I know I speak for us all when we say we miss your videos! Best EVER on the internet!!

Keep your head up, because even in your darkest days, you are a Clemson Tiger!!!!!!! :)

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ShoelessCU just remember that God loves you and wants

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 1:00 PM

you to know that if you draw nigh to Him that he will draw nigh to you. God bless and know that with God anything is possible! Hope 2017 turns out to be a great year for you.


You're a talented dude Shoeless...we love your tributes/hype

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 2:23 PM

Praying for you brother. Things will get better!


Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 3:23 PM

I'm sorry for your hardships, and I hope brighter days come for you sooner rather than later. Thank you for sharing this with us. I guarantee you that reading your post will help someone else for the better.

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I have hope for a highlight video.

Posted: Jan 12, 2017 3:25 PM

To soon? ;)

Please check your T-mail.****

Posted: Jan 13, 2017 1:17 AM

Re: I have hope again... (long)

Posted: Jan 13, 2017 6:47 AM


Replies: 21  


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