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CU Medallion [65977]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24687
Joined: 6/12/14
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UPDATED - favorite Lakebum quote ratings
Jan 7, 2019, 9:34 AM
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1. She once ruined a nice Friday night dinner with my fam because I had peed on her car earlier that day as a joke and it just enraged her.
2. I am personally responsible for Wendy's no shirt no service policy
3. I'm lucky if I get home by 6:00, then I have to play with dogs, make a couple of laps around the house naked, then watch Pardon the Interruption. By the time I'm done with all of that, it's well past 7:00
4. #### fall, #### the holidays, #### all of it
5. To be fair, I have not peed in the floor in years. Last time I had an incident I peed in the trashcan, so she was being a bit rude to me.
6. Hauled the boat out of storage Friday, got all the mold cleaned off, plugs put back in, etc. to get her water ready. Then just sat in it and drank a beer for a little while
7. Walked right up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and audibly farted when we started packing up dishes.
8. Oh, it probably has a lot to do with you ######## starting this annoying music/movies/decorations 3 months before Christmas. I think these are the same people who like to say it's their birthday month.
9.
calling Jake Bentley a poosay right before the Carolina game came on and wife instructing me to not pee in the floor.
10. Here's the other fact about Christmas music....To men like myself, it signifies a season in which I'll be doing very little of what I want to do. I'll be forced to interact with people I don't particularly care for, and who I have nothing to do with otherwise the rest of the year. We'll have to go sit and listen to how great such and such's lives are despite the fact that they're in their 30's living above their parents garage, and get life lessons from a ###### who pins you in a corner and hands out sage wisdom like "don't go into credit card debt".
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Oculus Spirit [80978]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56059
Joined: 9/13/04
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I endorse all of these***
Jan 7, 2019, 9:36 AM
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All-In [25721]
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Joined: 11/21/05
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Re: Although credited to Lakebum I can endorse all of these***
Jan 7, 2019, 9:53 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79400]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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I stand by all of these. I tell you what though, thank god
Jan 7, 2019, 9:58 AM
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the Christmas season is over with. Wasn't sure I was going to make it through without catching a homicide, intentional or otherwise.
You know what though? I've decided 4th of July is going to be my holiday. If the women get Christmas, I get 4th of July. And I'm going to make it just as miserable for them. We're going to spend about 4 hours in West Marine looking at boating supplies, I'm going to have my wife applying protectant to all of my upholstery, and we're going to wax that MFer good. She likes Christmas decorations, I like boat maintenance. Game on bisches.
Then we're going to ride up toward Westminster via boat and hang out on an island with my really redneck friends my wife isn't very fond of. We're talking bleached hair, nipple/ear rings, neck tattoos....That sort of crowd. She'll hate it. But I'll remind her the pain and suffering that I go through during Christmas time, and that 4th of July is MY holiday, so it's MY turn now....
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Oculus Spirit [80978]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56059
Joined: 9/13/04
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Christmas has gotten so messed up that by the time its here
Jan 7, 2019, 10:02 AM
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I'm just ready for it to be over. They start putting that ish in stores around the end of September. I don't know if I'd celebrate winning the lottery for 3 straight months, much less anything else.
*Disclaimer: Yeah, I'd prob celebrate winning the lottery at least until it killed me.
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Oculus Spirit [79400]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/30/05
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No kidding, by the first week of December, I'm ready to
Jan 7, 2019, 10:09 AM
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start assaulting people who are wearing Christmas sweaters.
I'm lobbying hard to stop giving gifts to anyone over the age of 15. I think that'll help. Of course, we're apparently already planning to be traveling next Christmas, so I'm sure it'll be just as terrible regardless of gifts. Just such a shame to have that much time off work, and you basically just waste it running around from place to place.
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All-In [30181]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 31794
Joined: 9/13/01
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Maybe you're wife will be pregnant next Christmas season?!***
Jan 7, 2019, 10:14 AM
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All-TigerNet [12851]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 15971
Joined: 10/25/02
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if you have a "great" St Pattys day you could have a
Jan 7, 2019, 10:17 AM
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Christmas baby!
Then EVERY Christmas will be TWICE as much fun.
I live this.
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Oculus Spirit [79400]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Heisman Winner [135480]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 12/6/98
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Speaking of Christmas season...
Jan 7, 2019, 10:53 AM
[ in reply to I stand by all of these. I tell you what though, thank god ] |
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if the Mom-in-law DOES get moved to rehab today, and then manages to get past that and the gets back to her house, I guess we'll have our postponed in-law Christmas celebration. I am WAY over Christmas, and this will end up reeling me back in for a day (or more) and will probably get in the way of something I actually want to go do like seeing a band, or playing music, or sitting in the Big Chair away from anyone and anything annoying and drinking myself into a stupor. I guess the upside of that is the fact that we can get shed of the 47 gifts and bags of stocking stuffers and other crap that's piled up in the guest room. Not that it's in the way, but I do get tired of looking at that crap every day.
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Hall of Famer [20569]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8610
Joined: 10/27/00
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Re: UPDATED - favorite Lakebum quote ratings
Jan 7, 2019, 10:26 AM
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11. I tell you what though, thank god the Christmas season is over with. Wasn't sure I was going to make it through without catching a homicide, intentional or otherwise.
12. You know what though? I've decided 4th of July is going to be my holiday. If the women get Christmas, I get 4th of July. And I'm going to make it just as miserable for them. We're going to spend about 4 hours in West Marine looking at boating supplies, I'm going to have my wife applying protectant to all of my upholstery, and we're going to wax that MFer good. She likes Christmas decorations, I like boat maintenance. Game on bisches.
13. Then we're going to ride up toward Westminster via boat and hang out on an island with my really redneck friends my wife isn't very fond of. We're talking bleached hair, nipple/ear rings, neck tattoos....That sort of crowd. She'll hate it. But I'll remind her the pain and suffering that I go through during Christmas time, and that 4th of July is MY holiday, so it's MY turn now....
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