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Replies: 38
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Varsity [235]
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Posts: 136
Joined: 4/15/12
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Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 1:03 PM
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A coot finds her boyfriend making love to her roommate at a tailgate.
She pulls out a gun and places it to her own head. She screems, “I am going to kill myself”,
The boyfriend pleads, “no no please put the gun down”!
The girlfriend replies, “ shut up, your next”
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Orange Blooded [2877]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 3857
Joined: 11/19/11
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a degree from the university of south carolina
Nov 22, 2018, 1:03 PM
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Nm
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Head Coach [760]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 549
Joined: 4/25/17
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Re: a degree from the university of south carolina
Nov 22, 2018, 3:32 PM
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Nm
How do they separate the men from the boys on the Gamecock football team? With a crowbar.
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Varsity [235]
TigerPulse: 92%
Posts: 136
Joined: 4/15/12
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 1:06 PM
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I picked up a coot hitchhiking
My turn signal had not been working and I just replaced a fuse.
I asked the coot to look to see if it is now working
His reply:
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
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All-TigerNet [10134]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8862
Joined: 7/20/12
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 1:10 PM
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Coot man tells coot woman to pick him up a toothbrush. Coot woman laughs and says “but darlin you don’t have any teeth to brush!”
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All-TigerNet [10483]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7756
Joined: 12/5/15
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 1:42 PM
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coots................................bahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
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All-In [40872]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 42929
Joined: 11/30/98
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110%er [8047]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6805
Joined: 10/16/09
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 2:34 PM
[ in reply to Re: Post your best Coot jokes ] |
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Favorite pick up line in cootlumbia, “that’s a mighty fine tooth you got there “
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All-In [40872]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 42929
Joined: 11/30/98
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How many coots does it take to pump gas
Nov 22, 2018, 1:10 PM
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all of them
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All-TigerNet [13879]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8801
Joined: 11/26/99
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"Clemson wasn't that much better than us" Jake Bentley
Nov 22, 2018, 1:14 PM
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CU Guru [1126]
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Posts: 806
Joined: 12/3/08
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Re: "Clemson wasn't that much better than us" Jake Bentley
Nov 22, 2018, 1:50 PM
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"If at all"
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Commissioner [942]
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Posts: 3144
Joined: 3/28/12
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Re: "Clemson wasn't that much better than us" Jake Bentley
Nov 22, 2018, 2:22 PM
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Bemtley is the gift that keeps on giving.
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Hall of Famer [24171]
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Posts: 16420
Joined: 8/6/02
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Marlborocountycoot = dgcannon39 = tiger michael = Reggaeman
Nov 22, 2018, 2:31 PM
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Orange Blooded [4754]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5125
Joined: 9/14/02
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 1:49 PM
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A flight attendant is taking the drink cart down the aisle, and say to one man, "Oh, You must be an Clemson alum?"
The man says "Why yes, how did you know?"
The FA says, "Just the successful way you carry yourself, and your good manners."
As the FA moves down the aisle, she says to another gentleman, "Oh, are you a South Carolina alumni?"
The second man, sensing a line, plays along and says "Yes, I am, how could you tell?"
The FA says, "I just saw your class ring as you were picking your nose."
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Orange Blooded [3698]
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Posts: 1907
Joined: 8/15/18
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 2:11 PM
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“We’re cycling in, they’re cycling out”
Made me laugh anyway.
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All-TigerNet [12942]
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Joined: 1/26/16
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes***
Nov 22, 2018, 2:15 PM
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Athletic Dir [865]
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Posts: 1475
Joined: 9/6/08
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 2:18 PM
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A guy walks into a bar to watch the Clemson- South Carolina game and has his dog with him.
He asks the bartender if the dog can be in there with him. “Why in the world should I allow that?” asks the bartender.
“Well, when the Tigers score he’ll stand on his back legs and walk down the bar and back on just two feet. And when The gamecocks score he’ll walk on his front paws all the way across the bar, and back.”
“That’s pretty impressive,” notes the bartender.
“Oh, that’s nothing, when Clemson wins, he’ll do back flips down the length of the bar and back,” the owner proudly proclaims.
“What will he do when the Gamecocks win?” asks the bartender.
“Dunno, he’s only 4 years old!!!!
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CU Medallion [64517]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 88956
Joined: 3/27/01
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Posted several earlier this week but here are a few more;
Nov 22, 2018, 2:48 PM
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Q - How do you castrate a u5c football player?
A - You hit his sister in the jaw.
Q - Why did they cancel the Christmas play on the u5c campus?
A - They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Q - What does a tornado and a u5c graduate have in common?
A - Both eventually end up in trailer parks.
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1st Rounder [637]
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Posts: 597
Joined: 11/30/98
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Historical joke
Nov 22, 2018, 3:23 PM
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In the earliest days of the Clemson and South Carolina rivalry, all the games were played in Cootlumbia near the railroad tracks. During one particular game in 1902, a train came by and blew its whistle. The Clemson players thought the whistle meant the game was over and walked off the field. Nine plays later, the coots scored.
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Head Coach [760]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 549
Joined: 4/25/17
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 3:30 PM
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What’s the difference between a SC coed and a toilet? The toilet doesn’t follow you around after you use it.
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All-TigerNet [10901]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12986
Joined: 8/4/14
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What's the difference between a Usuc co-ed and a brick?
Nov 22, 2018, 3:39 PM
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A brick won't try to follow you home after getting laid!
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Walk-On [118]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 158
Joined: 11/26/08
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 3:33 PM
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Clemson fan sitting in a bar asks the guy beside him if he wants to hear a good Lamecock joke.
Guy replies, “Before you go any further, I just thought I would let you know that I played LB at USuCk. That gentleman right there played DB at USuCk, and the fella beside him played OL at USuCk. Are you sure you wanna tell that joke?!”
Clemson fan replies, “Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
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Walk-On [118]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 158
Joined: 11/26/08
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 3:35 PM
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How do you keep a Gamecock out of your front yard?
Paint it like an endzone...
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All-TigerNet [10901]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12986
Joined: 8/4/14
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Or, just pay him for the pizza!***
Nov 22, 2018, 3:41 PM
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Orange Blooded [3348]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 3734
Joined: 7/18/09
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 3:58 PM
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Why are coots so bad at playing pool?
Because they're always scratching their balls.
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Hall of Famer [24509]
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Posts: 15105
Joined: 2/13/15
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I was at a grocery store....
Nov 22, 2018, 4:50 PM
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And a customer was getting his eggs checked by the bagger... And the bagger opened the carton of eggs and a couple were broken, but instead of wanting a replacement the gentleman said " I don't want them replaced because that poor chicken worked very hard laying those eggs"...
And at that moment I thought about the South Carolina Football Program....
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Asst Coach [747]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/17
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Re: Favorite USuc Joke
Nov 22, 2018, 6:22 PM
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Dabo and Muschamp both die and they get to the Pearly gates and are meet by St. Peter! St. Peter tells them there's a test they must pass before they are allowed into Heaven. Muschamp ask, what kind of test?
St. Peter says its a spelling test. Muschamp says I'm a great speller I know I'll ace this. St. Peter turns to Dabo and says your word is CAT. Dabo says C A T. St. Peter says that's right, enter. Muschamp says hurry and give me my word cause I can't wait to get in there. St. Peter say ok, your word is Krzyzewski!!!
A Cruise Ship carrying a group of SEC Cheerleaders sinks and the only survivors are one Alabama Cheerleader, one Georgia Cheerleader and one Usuc Cheerleader. They make it to a nearby uninhabited island. There's no fresh water and little food on the island. After a week the Cheerleaders are desperate. There is another island that appears to be 2 miles away. In desperation one day the Alabama Cheerleader says she can't take this anymore and says she will swim to the other island to see if there is help there. The other Cheerleaders start cheering her on and she only makes it about a 1/4 of the way and drowns. Couple of days later the Georgia Cheerleader says she thinks she can make it cause Georgia is just better that Alabama and sure enough she make it about 1/3 of the way and she drowns. Another week goes by and the Usuc Cheerleader can't take it anymore and she jumps in and starts swimming with everything she has. She makes it half way across and decides she can't make it so she turns around and swims back to shore.
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CU Medallion [52153]
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Posts: 8739
Joined: 12/26/15
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 5:57 PM
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Saw on the news where a F-5 tornado hit the sCar campus......did over a million $$ worth of improvements.
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Varsity [202]
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Posts: 382
Joined: 3/22/08
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 6:46 PM
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Dabo Swinney Nick Saban and Will Muschamp was sentenced to the electric chair. They told them for whatever reason this chair does not work you are a free man. Dabo got in the chair and they asked him have you got any last words he said no I'm ready they hit the switch nothing happened and they said you are a free man you can leave. Saban got in the chair and they asked him did he have any last words he said no I'm Ready they hit the switch nothing happened they told him he was a free man he could leave . Muschamp got in the chair they asked him did he have any last words he looked around and told them y'all notice the chair is not plugged up.
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110%er [6468]
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Posts: 10117
Joined: 11/2/03
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 7:25 PM
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Muschamp
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110%er [7010]
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Posts: 9418
Joined: 9/9/03
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 7:33 PM
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Todd Ellis
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Hall of Famer [22127]
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Joined: 2/25/13
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 7:50 PM
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A car load of Gamecock students were on their way to Clemson to join their friends. They told their friends it should take them about 3 hours to make the trip.
Hours passed and they did not arrive in Clemson. Just after halftime and an 8 hour delay, the students arrived at the stadium. Their friends, already in Clemson asked, "what took you fellows so long to get here"? One replied, "have you seen those signs along I-26 that read 'clean restrooms ahead'"? "It takes a long time to clean those rascals".
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Letterman [276]
TigerPulse: 95%
Posts: 187
Joined: 9/5/18
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This one from my 8 year old son...
Nov 22, 2018, 8:07 PM
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How many Gamecocks does it take to change a light bulb?
3
One to hold the light bulb in place while the other 2 turn the step ladder.
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110%er [7169]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 4003
Joined: 9/17/14
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Man. I bet if DSP were here he'd have a good #### joke.
Nov 22, 2018, 8:13 PM
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Maybe a bit to crass for some of the sensitive manbeard types, but funny nonetheless. Really miss him this time of year...
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All-In [38422]
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Joined: 7/28/11
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Re: Man. I bet if DSP were here he'd have a good #### joke.
Nov 22, 2018, 8:21 PM
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I've always believed that if a jokes told right it doesn't matter the content.
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110%er [7173]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6879
Joined: 1/25/17
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3 Orphan Boys
Nov 22, 2018, 8:16 PM
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These 3 orphan boys went before the judge to see who would have custody of them.
The judge ask, "boys who do you want to live with"?
The boys frightened and frail and shaking huddle up!
Moments later they come back and tell the judge what they came up with.
The boys said, "judge our dad's family beat us, so we can't go there"! "Our Aunt/Uncle whip us, so we can't go there"!
Judge we want to be taken care of by the coots because they don't whip or beat ANYBODY!
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All-In [38422]
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Re: Post your best Coot jokes
Nov 22, 2018, 8:19 PM
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Five Head runs into a roadblock .
Again .
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All-In [27366]
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Joined: 9/19/11
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A coot walks into a MENSA meeting.***
Nov 22, 2018, 8:23 PM
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Asst Coach [747]
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Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/17
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Re: Coot's Going to Dollar General Bowl
Nov 22, 2018, 8:48 PM
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Coot are headed to the Dollar General Bowl in Mobile, AL. I heard that one of their Fraternity group is painting Spurs on the highway all the way from Cootumbia to Mobile. Got a report on their progress this afternoon and they are just outside of Chicago!!!
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