When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
I mean, that's WAY better than choking on your own vomit or a slow death from internal injuries after being sodomized by a mop handle while incarcerated in state penal institution.