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Replies: 86
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Rock Defender [53]
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My a-hole neighbor parks in the street, everyday.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:09 PM
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Typically i wouldn't give a ###, but he insists on parking in front of my driveway, which makes it difficult for me to back out.
What gets me is that he has a looong driveway in which to park, but I guess moving cars around is too much trouble for Mr. Hole. He and his wife were gone this weekend--he left his car in the street all weekend long and his driveway was empty. I have complained to the HOA and either they aren't doing anything, or he is paying the fines and continues to park in the street.
I am seriously thinking of getting up some speed while backing out and hitting his car hard enough to push it up into his yard; I have a Tahoe and he has a Corolla, so this shouldn't be hard to do. I actually almost did this the other day.
What are the jounges thoughts on retribution?
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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bannana in the tailpipe
Jan 22, 2013, 12:10 PM
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Beverly Hills Cop II-style
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All-In [27403]
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WAIT WUT?!?!?!?!***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:14 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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if he's blocking your driveway
Jan 22, 2013, 12:11 PM
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call the cops.
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Rock Defender [53]
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He's on the opposite side of the street
Jan 22, 2013, 12:13 PM
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so its not enough to block the driveway; just enough that I have to do a 5 point backing turn. PIA.
And backing my boat in the driveway is a nightmare when he is parked there.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Rock Defender [53]
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So what is your answer?
Jan 22, 2013, 12:18 PM
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He knows he blocks the driveway; when I was moving in he was on his front porch watching teh moving van try and negotiate around his car,and did nothing to move his vehicle. If I thought the cops would do anything, I would call them. I thought about it.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Never call the cops. I have posted several suggestions***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:20 PM
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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This I agree with. Dates back to the noise violation days.***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:27 PM
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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If you need them, they won't come in time. If you don't
Jan 22, 2013, 12:31 PM
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really need them, you run about a 75% chance that you will get in trouble for something ridiculous or you will have to spend more time/money over something than it is worth. It's a lose/lose situation.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Yep, cops always make everything worse***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:35 PM
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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You got that right.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:46 PM
[ in reply to If you need them, they won't come in time. If you don't ] |
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I had a tire blow out on I77 coming back from Florence. It was dusk and I was losing light fast. 5 cops passed, not a one offered to help.
Fast forward a few years. I was up all night partying with some folks who were taking part in some illegal substance. I went home long enough to find that I didn't have any clean jeans because some ####### didn't run the dryer. Here I am, stuck with these jeans that faintly smell of pot, on my way to judge a bbq contest. I had just gotten on 26 when my contact started hurting my eye. Pull over, wash the thing off with some solution and get read to go on my way.
Well what do you know, I look up and blue lights are filling my mirror before I can even pull off and this fool cop is harassing me.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Rock Defender [53]
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I bet he'll call the cops when I accidentally back in to
Jan 22, 2013, 12:58 PM
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once day.
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Hall of Famer [21577]
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Have you ever said anything to...
Jan 22, 2013, 12:14 PM
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him?
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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He knows he is blocking the driveway.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:20 PM
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When i was moving in he wacthed the moving truck painfully negotiate around his car, and walked back in his house. He has also been outside when he has seen me and my wife have to do 5 point reverse turns to get out.
He's an #######.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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One thing is clear then, the only way to solve this issue
Jan 22, 2013, 12:21 PM
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is through physical damage to either him, or his vehicle. Anything short of that will do nothing to deter him.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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I agree. He knows he is blocking the driveway.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:24 PM
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He saw it the first day i moved in and has no intent on doing anything about it. That's why I haven't asked; it won't do any good.
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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In THAT case.....
Jan 22, 2013, 12:37 PM
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Double tap the base of the skull with 40 grain .22 segmented hollow points.
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Hall of Famer [21577]
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So you haven't confronted him....grow a pair and say
Jan 22, 2013, 12:22 PM
[ in reply to He knows he is blocking the driveway. ] |
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something. Then I'm with the other post....burn his house down.
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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No need to have a conversation. Dude knows he is being a
Jan 16, 2022, 9:26 AM
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prick. Odds are he won't even hear the words that are being said.
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Hall of Famer [21577]
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You could turn the other cheak like Perry and wash his car
Jan 16, 2022, 9:31 AM
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while its in the road.
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Rock Defender [53]
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Joined: 11/30/98
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Lucretia? Any thoughts on this?***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:29 PM
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Write him an accident note with a fake number that calls
Jan 22, 2013, 12:15 PM
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something really funny, like a whore-house or something.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Have a chat with him, if that doesn't work, hook up a
Jan 22, 2013, 12:16 PM
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tow chain and physically pull his car about a quarter mile down the street with the Tahoe. If he doesn't get the message after that, it's time to burn down his house.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Tape a "for sale" sign to the back window.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:17 PM
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Put his number on it, and write on the bottom: "NO room in driveway, need to sell fast"
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All-Conference [416]
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We have a winner.***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:18 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
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Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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There are two things you CAN actually do about it.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:17 PM
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1. Whine about it incessantly in the Jounge.
CHECK!
2.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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Bang his wife
Jan 22, 2013, 12:18 PM
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then burn his car down.
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Rock Defender [53]
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She's fugly.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:20 PM
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House burning is possible.
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Rock Defender [53]
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just the tip
Jan 22, 2013, 12:22 PM
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just for a second, just to see how it feels.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Put a gay pride bumper sticker on his car.***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:19 PM
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All-TigerNet [10887]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Put a KKK bumper sticker on his car***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:19 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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well, let's see... there's:
Jan 22, 2013, 12:19 PM
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nail strips, keying, spraypaint/nail polish, cutting multiple tire stems at once, bat to the windows, pellet guns to the windows, if he leaves a window cracked- fire extinguisher inside or opened cans of tuna on a hot day or bleach, or if you have as good of a hook up with mothra as rhtig, you could just ask for hail while he's parked outside his garage... YOUR CALL.
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Rock Defender [53]
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Also, I knew a guy that got in an argument with someone over
Jan 22, 2013, 12:25 PM
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who was gonna use a hunting spot on public land last year when they arrived at the same time, and when he came back to his car, someone had smeared human feces all over the front windshield and left a pair of deer testacles hanging on the side mirror.
I dunno where you're gonna get the spare nuts, but my great uncles has plenty of pewp if you need some.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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I also thought of "fish stew" in his vents.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:27 PM
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Get some shad, or mullet, or black sea bass (the oilier the better), let it sit in a cooler outside, in teh sun, for a bout a week. Then pour it in the vents of the car near the windshield wipers.
That car is totaled, without a scratch.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Key it viscously until it is considered totaled, then blame
Jan 22, 2013, 12:19 PM
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it on the neighborhood children and tell him it shouldn't be on the street anyway.
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Rock Defender [53]
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Joined: 11/30/98
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I thought about putting an off center D ring in my trailer
Jan 22, 2013, 12:23 PM
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hitch, slamming into it, and if he asks tell him i have no idea how that happened and tell hime someone must have turned around in my driveway and done it.
I'd hide the D ring, so it wouldn't be anything he could blame on me.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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That'd work, or get a trailer hitch that sticks out really
Jan 22, 2013, 12:25 PM
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far and back into it. Probably wouldn't take a whole lot of speed to put a hole in the sheet metal. I killed a guys radiator/front end like that before.
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Rock Defender [53]
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I have a cargo carrier that would probably take his fender
Jan 22, 2013, 12:29 PM
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and maybe a tire/wheel off.
If he is parked illegally, I think its his fault even if i do hit him.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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I'd make it to where he knew I was the one who did it...
Jan 22, 2013, 12:37 PM
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and why I did it, but he can't prove it. He's probably the type of person who would call the cops and press charges.
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Rock Defender [53]
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It's a Corolla?
Jan 22, 2013, 12:21 PM
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just tip that ##### over.
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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tell the HOA that you will quit paying dues***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:22 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
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heh..then they fine me.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:25 PM
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backfire.
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All-TigerNet [14282]
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Just tell them you don't see a reason to pay them if they
Jan 22, 2013, 12:25 PM
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aren't enforcing the rules.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Problem is the legislation is in the HOA's favor. Their selective
Jan 22, 2013, 12:32 PM
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rule enforcement does not exempt you from the fees, unfortunately.
Message was edited by: CharlestonTom®
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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they may be fining him and he may be ignoring them...
Jan 22, 2013, 12:34 PM
[ in reply to heh..then they fine me. ] |
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Or they may be ignoring you. Time to find out what kind of teeth the HOA has...unless you just want to fight this guy.
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All-TigerNet [14282]
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Oculus Spirit [78892]
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don't back out
Jan 22, 2013, 12:26 PM
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back in
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Hall of Famer [21868]
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Re: My a-hole neighbor parks in the street, everyday.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:29 PM
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Is it in the HOA rules that he can't do this?
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Rock Defender [53]
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Yes.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:30 PM
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I've complained twice.
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Hall of Famer [21868]
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I hate HOA's....
Jan 22, 2013, 12:35 PM
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that's why I bought a house with some land in a neighborhood without an HOA. They take your money and then when you ask them to enforce something or do something they should be doing you dont receive a response.
Personally, I'd tell him I didn't appreciate it and if he gets an attitude or p!ssy bust his face on your land of course or just back into it with a hitch or hook up and hide it so you don't end up with an insurance claim.
or start sabotaging the car. cut brake lines/fuel lines/etc.
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Oculus Spirit [93668]
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Have you contacted him about the situation?
Jan 22, 2013, 12:31 PM
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Let him know how inconvenient it is for you by returning the favor and block him in the same way.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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I actually thought of this too.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:32 PM
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But since he is on the street, I'm not sure how that would work.
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Oculus Spirit [93668]
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I always start out with a nice conversation and explaination
Jan 22, 2013, 12:42 PM
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It works most of the time though a neighbor's dog startled me once while I was redoing the interior of my car. I was down on my knees bent into the door of the car and his 65 lb boxer barked up my butt crack.
When he got home I explained that I'd had 8 heart attacks not including the one from his dog that morning and I didn't think it was fair that I live with the possibility that his dog may terrorize me again.
The truth is that his dog crap further and further from his house annexing as much space by doing this as possible. I knew what the dog was doing and I had tried to explain how dogs behave when limited space is available to them but he refused to listen. I promised to call the authorities if it happed again. It didn't!
Perhaps a threat to call the police is in order after you've exhausted the 'nice guy,' method.
I believe you can have the cops come and settle a dispute between neighbors. That might be step #3,
My step four would be to back out in front of an oncoming car and make a collision. If his auto is deemed to have obstructed or distracted you his insurance company will be footing the bill. You'll need only to file on your comprehensive to have the claim toward him initiated.
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Legend [16732]
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Re: I actually thought of this too.
Jan 22, 2013, 1:55 PM
[ in reply to I actually thought of this too. ] |
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Solution:
If He parking on one side of the street makes it hard for you to get out of your driveway I assume the street is not very wide. You then park on your side of the street directly opposite his car. Given the street is not wide this should restrict traffic on the street. While both cars are parked there make an anonymous call to the police and complain about the street being blocked. Police will then talk to both of you about moving your car. Yes you are calling the police on yoursf but your goal is to have no cars parked on the street. Your neighbor will see police talking to you and will not think you are the one who called the police.
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All-TigerNet [10887]
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Whatever you do, wear gloves and a hairnet.***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:34 PM
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CU Medallion [60229]
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Posts: 42557
Joined: 11/30/98
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go Buford Pusser on him - saw 2/3 through his steering rod
Jan 22, 2013, 12:36 PM
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Patiently wait.
Profit.
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All-In [49174]
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The guy may just be really dense. I'd say something to him.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:40 PM
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doesn't have to be a big confrontation. Then go the HOA route.
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Rock Defender [53]
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Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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I'm certain he knows.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:46 PM
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When he saw the moving truck trying to get around he walked his fat ### out on his porch and kind of smirked, then walked back in.
Noone is that dense.
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All-In [29036]
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I've figured out your problem
Jan 22, 2013, 12:50 PM
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no one is that dense <---- there's your mistake
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Rock Defender [53]
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Here's a pic from my driveway.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:42 PM
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Its a PIA to back out and in to.
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Oculus Spirit [93668]
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Yep, he's deliberately avoiding causing himself the same
Jan 22, 2013, 12:45 PM
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inconvience he is causing you. Park your car directly in front of his drive. He'll get the message and the two of you can come to a conclusion together.
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Rock Defender [53]
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If i park in front of my driveway like he does
Jan 22, 2013, 12:47 PM
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the street is effectively blocked.
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110%er [5696]
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So?***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:48 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
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So then i #### off all the neighbors down the street that
Jan 22, 2013, 12:50 PM
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can't get out of the neighborhood.
From that pic if you go left from my drivway, it leads into a cul de sac. There is only one way out: right turn.
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All-In [25509]
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Re: So then i #### off all the neighbors down the street that
Jan 22, 2013, 1:56 PM
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So. Who is then actually blocking the street? You or him. I'd park my car in front of your house. Blocking the street. Bet that will get some attention and the HOA will probably say no parking on street. Tell the HOA that you have as much as right to park on the street as he does. When the street is effectively blocked, call the police and tell them your neighbor's car is blocking the street. Placing roofing nails under all his tires at midnight will also work.
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Oculus Spirit [75719]
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Hall of Famer [21868]
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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He's just being a d1ck, I'd begin sabotaging...
Jan 22, 2013, 12:50 PM
[ in reply to Here's a pic from my driveway. ] |
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If walking outside to four flat tires doesn't get his attention, I'd go the "accidental" hitting route. If that doesn't work, it's time to destroy that vehicle. I liked the fish in vents idea, that might be the best of all suggestions, since there's really no legal penalty that I can think of even if you did get caught.
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Hall of Famer [21868]
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Re: He's just being a d1ck, I'd begin sabotaging...
Jan 22, 2013, 12:52 PM
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messing with someone else's property always has a legal penalty.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Yeah, but I imagine the cops would be more sympathetic
Jan 22, 2013, 12:53 PM
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to dumping nasty fish #### into his vents, as opposed to keying the ever living #### out of his car or slashing his tires.
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Rock Defender [53]
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They'd have to prove i did that.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:54 PM
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Good luck.
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Legend [16732]
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Re: Here's a pic from my driveway.
Jan 22, 2013, 2:09 PM
[ in reply to Here's a pic from my driveway. ] |
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Do you live in mt pleasant. I know for a fact the police he will force him to park off the street if he is blocking traffic or if his car is hard to see around creating dangerousness driving conditions
Call the fuzz or see my other post then call the fuzz
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Heisman Winner [135609]
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What I notice most about this picture:
Jan 22, 2013, 2:23 PM
[ in reply to Here's a pic from my driveway. ] |
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His house is not made of asbestos. It WILL burn.
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All-TigerNet [11019]
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Gallon of Bleach in the gas tank.
Jan 22, 2013, 12:48 PM
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The car will likely be stuck there for a while, but your neighbor will get the message.
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All-In [29036]
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Walk across the street and talk to him
Jan 22, 2013, 12:48 PM
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No reason for the passive aggressive stuff
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Hall of Famer [21868]
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what does his wife drive?***
Jan 22, 2013, 12:52 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
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a small SUV of some sorts
Jan 22, 2013, 12:55 PM
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they have a long driveway and a garage that has a big enough space for two cars in front of it.
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All-TigerNet [12270]
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same thing happens to me regularly so i had the
Jan 22, 2013, 12:59 PM
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bastage's car towed while he was gone over the holidays. he still hasn't gone and gotten it out of hock.
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Commissioner [960]
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I had the same problem a few years back
Jan 22, 2013, 1:00 PM
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Left a note with the rules on the windshield and asked them to not park there as it impedes my getting in and out of the driveway. They quit. I put away my 5 gallon jug of gas and torch.
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All-TigerNet [12066]
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Dude across the street from me does the same but he drives
Jan 22, 2013, 1:10 PM
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a Dodge Ram 1500 and he doesn't even pull all the way to the curb. Parks it about 1 ft off the curb so it makes it even harder to get in and out of my driveway. Thinking of salting his yard
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All-In [25509]
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Re: Dude across the street from me does the same but he drives
Jan 22, 2013, 1:58 PM
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Roofing nails. They can solve a lot of problems.
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Commissioner [960]
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Or if that doesn't work
Jan 22, 2013, 1:59 PM
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squirt superglue in the door locks.
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CU Guru [1599]
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Have you talked to your neighbor?***
Jan 22, 2013, 2:44 PM
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