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All-TigerNet [13888]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10641
Joined: 9/15/02
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THE PROCESS HAS BEGUN!!!
Dec 2, 2016, 9:50 AM
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Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's RIGHT! We are BACK for ANOTHER CLEMSON CHAMPIONSHIP. ACC trophy, get ready for another trip to Tiger Town.
Before I get to the latest poultry, son let me tell you how much we enjoyed those chickens we feasted on.
But now it's time for more Turkey.
Junior and I went up to Blacksburg this week. We passed some trailers, saw some old IROC Camaros up on cinder blocks, and even saw few mullets. Junior asked if I'd gotten lost and ended up back in Gamecock country.
We found our turkey hanging out behind a record store. He was pecking at a warm bottle of Seagrams Wine cooler and head banging to a played out Metallica song. Quick as a wink, he was in the van.
I'll tell you this much, it's hard to get creative when all you do is kill these dumb birds week in and week out. So the plan is a little different. I like eating turkey.
This one will go in the garage and it's going to be very very cold and dark in there. I want it damp and miserable. We'll keep him in there, and we're going to practice some sleep deprivation. Just when he closes his eyes, the strobelight will flash and a 20 second blast of Metallica will jolt him awake. By Saturday, he'll be confused as to why he now hates his own team.
I'm going to leave his head on, but in a tradition fashion....I'm going to remove his beak with a box cutter. Unlike Cardinals, turkeys dont really have teeth....so we'll see a gummy grin crusted in dried blood. Once I rip every feather off I'm going to fire up the grill....get it red hot.
I'll carry him out by his legs (did I mention he's a tall bird). Once at the grill I'll tear his legs off and toss them on the grill..then I'll slam his living squirming body down onto the grates and hold him down while the smell of burnt flesh replaces his shreaks and screams of pain and terror. I'll eat him with my bare hands and let his skin and flesh fall from my teeth and all over my body. He will pay the price for getting in the way of our goals.
Buckle up!!!!
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All-In [40100]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18284
Joined: 10/28/15
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Whewwww, I was worried! Now, it's official we win.***
Dec 2, 2016, 9:52 AM
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All-TigerNet [13888]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10641
Joined: 9/15/02
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We will win
Dec 2, 2016, 10:40 AM
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by double digits
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All-In [28394]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 14061
Joined: 6/27/14
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yes.....we will
Dec 2, 2016, 10:56 AM
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another fine performance buzz - cheers
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Legend [16629]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6482
Joined: 9/29/12
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Re: THE PROCESS HAS BEGUN!!!***
Dec 2, 2016, 9:58 AM
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Lot o points [155906]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65821
Joined: 5/6/13
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You know they sell frozen turkeys, right?
Dec 2, 2016, 10:49 AM
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This seems like a lot of work.
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CU Guru [1374]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1567
Joined: 12/23/11
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I'm ready now. Thanks Buzz!***
Dec 2, 2016, 10:56 AM
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Scout Team [161]
TigerPulse: 68%
Posts: 492
Joined: 10/27/10
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Re: THE PROCESS HAS BEGUN!!!
Dec 2, 2016, 10:56 AM
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I'm......I'm worried about you...
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All-TigerNet [13888]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10641
Joined: 9/15/02
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Me?
Dec 2, 2016, 10:57 AM
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Why?
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CU Medallion [65443]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 33249
Joined: 12/3/03
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You don't think he' sirius about all this stuff, right?
Dec 2, 2016, 2:59 PM
[ in reply to Re: THE PROCESS HAS BEGUN!!! ] |
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(I don't think he really lets Junior drive the van.)
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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Just passed the VT buses on the way to Orlando
Dec 2, 2016, 1:32 PM
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They weren't looking too comfortable for tomorrows game
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