Sunday sermon: Welcome to Mount Carmel

Nov 18, 2012, 10:13 AM

What's a tailgate without a good barbecue?

"Now summon the people to meet me on Mount Carmel. And I ask ... How much longer will you waver? If the LORD is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!" I Kings 18:20

Finally, we are gathering at Mount Carmel. Finally, this issue will be settled.

Finally, I believe in my heart, the world will be set right.

Raise the banner ... it's time to end this mess!

Loyal Sons of Clemson, our deliverance is at hand. The sword stands ready for some good old-fashioned Old Testament smiting.

For those who don't know the story of Mount Carmel, the Spirit came upon Elijah. The Lord had seen enough. The vile and the blasphemer had too long thumbed their nose at the Lord. The pagan had too long oppressed that which was good and pure.

It was time to end this, and end it in a way that would leave no doubt about who was in charge.

So, Elijah called out the priests of Baal and on a fall afternoon in the hills, they duked it out. It's one of my favorite stories in the Bible, especially when Elijah starts ragging on the false prophets, but I'll let y'all read it for yourselves. Long story short, the followers of Baal get the worse end of things.

Elijah rebuilds the altar of Israel, and mighty miracles occur ... none of which is good for the prophets of Baal.

By the end of the day, there's no doubt who's in charge.

Time to wipe this pestilence from the Earth

Sons of Clemson, this Saturday we will be standing on the slopes of Mount Carmel. Facing us will be the foul blasphemers, the feathered false prophets who have danced and committed vile acts in the name of their false god, the slinger of visors.

Go #####! How long have we endured this?

For three years, we have suffered under his reign. We have felt the weight of his gas-pumping, mulleted minions.

For too long, we have endured taunting, abuse and cold pizzas. We have sighed and cried "How long, oh Lord?"

It ends on Saturday. BCS be d@mned, bowls be d@mned, let everything that follows be d@mned, let us put EVERYTHING into Saturday.

Let their feather litter every road and path between here and Columbia. Let theit beaks no longer utter squawks of blaspemy, but only weak cheeps of pain.

Let them feel the pent-up wrath of three years of fury.

I have never ... NEVER ... called for Gee-Haw'd!! on our own field. The potential for seismic fury and destruction seemed far too dangerous.

The Spirit has spoken. On Saturday, Gee-Haw'd!! comes to Clemson.

Let the ultimate, purifying spirit of righteous fury fall upon our foes, crushing their feathered forms beneath our harrows. Somberly set our sights not to bowl games, not to rankings.

Rather set them to the grim task at hand: Obliteration.

That "team that used to beat us" is back, Steve...

Leave nothing intact. Let not one pizza box stand on top of another. When they look to us for mercy, think of the last three years, of the foul abuse coming from their high priest.

Think of that and the answer will be clear. Mercy is not an option.

There can be only destruction. There can be only pain.

There can be only the cleansing that comes with the absolute annihilation of South Carolina as a football entity.

This is our task. This is our reason to exist.

Let Mount Carmel run slick with the feathers and entrails of our foes. End this abomination for all time, Tigers.

Break out the snakes and strychnine...GEE-HAW'D!! is coming home.