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YOUR BALANCE
Weddings are a ####### scam
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Weddings are a ####### scam


Nov 13, 2019, 7:37 AM

All 4 of us are in my brother in law's wedding this weekend.

Right now we are looking at a total of $500 and counting for this sumbitch. Got my $200 tux yesterday that I can't even keep. Then the basturd wants to know if I need it hemmed for $60.... on a suit I don't keep.

Then we HAVE TO use the hair and makeup person that the wedding planner designates. Another 100 bucks.

Then this dumbarse sets the rehearsal at 3 pm on a Friday afternoon. There goes some PTO.

This better be his only wedding.

I refuse to be in anymore weddings until my kids get married.

What a ####### sham.





Also, happy birthday ryanadidas

Message was edited by: FBCoachSC®


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I like your funny words magic man


Re: Weddings are a ####### scam


Nov 13, 2019, 7:38 AM

ryanadidas

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I like your funny words magic man


Thanks brother!***


Nov 13, 2019, 7:44 AM



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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


They are a blast


Nov 13, 2019, 7:40 AM

See friends and family, get dressed up, get all liquored up and then have sexy time with wife for a while at the hotel afterwards. There is zero downside.

Also, tell me exactly what you would do with a tuxedo if you owned one? Wear it to prom each year?

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I own one suit.


Nov 13, 2019, 7:41 AM

I got married in it.

I've worn it to every job interview (which has been 1 in 7 years)

I've worn it to every funeral.

I've worn it to every wedding (that I didn't have to buy a ####### tux)

I will be buried in it.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I like your funny words magic man


Burried in it???


Nov 13, 2019, 7:43 AM

I doubt they'll ever find your body.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Ripped a small hole in my one suit last weekend at a wedding


Nov 13, 2019, 7:44 AM [ in reply to I own one suit. ]

which was tons of fun. Free food, free booze, free ride back and forth from venue. Well, free other than the cost of a wedding gift.

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I got ripped drunk at a wedding where two of my cousins


Nov 13, 2019, 7:46 AM

married each other. I puked all over my suit and had it dry cleaned.

A year or so later, I wore the same suit to another wedding that was outdoors in the summer. The puke smell started coming back out. It was dubbed the "puke suit" and eventually ended up in the dumpster.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


#SouthCarolinaMan***


Nov 13, 2019, 7:46 AM



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These two cousins have three kids together.


Nov 13, 2019, 7:52 AM

The oldest kid's first name is the last name of their common ancestor. It's like they're throwing it in our face...

On the other hand, the kids are intelligent, nice kids with no physical, mental, or emotional issues. Praise the Lord!

They aren't the redneck type of inbreds, they're the hippie, free love, bucking the system type of inbreds...

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


We almost did that with the name thing


Nov 13, 2019, 7:59 AM

But didn’t actually like the name, so we didn’t.

5th Cousin couple issues

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@sarahadidas and I are also 5th Cousins


Nov 13, 2019, 8:03 AM

We didn't know until a few years ago.

That honestly blew my mind. My family hasn't left Lexington since Pilgrim days (as far as I knew) and her family was from outta town. Sure as shiit, though, we're kin.

That may explain why my kids still believe in santa.... hmmm

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Wife and I are 7th cousins.


Nov 13, 2019, 8:06 AM

Yall are some backwoods trash

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I like your funny words magic man


we found out a month before the wedding


Nov 13, 2019, 8:15 AM [ in reply to @sarahadidas and I are also 5th Cousins ]

Turns out a lot of families started in Orangeburg

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Does it make the sex hotter?


Nov 13, 2019, 8:16 AM

jk, I know the answer.

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this is probably buried too far in this thread for real talk


Nov 13, 2019, 4:39 PM

but why is so much pron all about step parents and kids these days?

I know why I like having relations with kin folk, but didn't realize it was so popular with redtubers of the world.

Greenr

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I just gotta put it on mute and pretend she isn't his


Nov 14, 2019, 7:17 AM

actual mom.

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This confirms it...


Nov 13, 2019, 8:34 AM [ in reply to @sarahadidas and I are also 5th Cousins ]

we are related...

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now this makes sense***


Nov 13, 2019, 4:24 PM [ in reply to @sarahadidas and I are also 5th Cousins ]



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Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!


Re: #SouthCarolinaMan***


Nov 13, 2019, 7:54 AM [ in reply to #SouthCarolinaMan*** ]

I got so trashed at this wedding that SarahAdidas called EMS on me. They sent 3 firetrucks to the condo we were staying in. It was awesome.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


1. I want to hear this story


Nov 13, 2019, 8:06 AM

2. I want to drink with you.

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I like your funny words magic man


I don't drink like that very often these days.


Nov 13, 2019, 8:16 AM

My first cousin was marrying her 2nd cousin. Mama told us that we had to go. I didn't want to support these weirdo's, so I went under protest. We were staying on a golf course. Brother and I woke up at the crack of dawn and played golf. We took a bottle of Beam, and 12pack of Siera Nevada and some big ol' cigars. The course was under construction, so there were bulldozers and such on the course. They let us play for free. At the wedding, they had wine only. I drank wine like it was going out of style. Legend has it that they found me the country club bushes with an unopened bottle of wine under each arm. I had told the bartenders (60 year old women) that I would go down on them for bottles of wine. We get back to the condo, I punched a hole in the wall and barfed A LOT. Brother was in the other room smoking a bowl when SarahAdidas called EMS. Brother freaked and thought he was going to go to jail. He starts fighting with sarahadidas. A firetruck parade showed up and really caused a scene. I remember them asking me my name and who the president was and all sorts of questions like that. They let me stay in the condo and didn't haul me away. The next morning I puked the entire way home. I think I felt like crap for 3 or 4 days. It was a top 5 drunkest experience for me for certain. Like I said, I don't really drink like that anymore.

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Re: I don't drink like that very often these days.


Nov 13, 2019, 8:26 AM

Image result for nice reaction gif



Open bar at this one. Plan on making back that 500 on booze. Might have a story like that Monday

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I like your funny words magic man


This is just sad.


Nov 13, 2019, 7:52 AM [ in reply to I own one suit. ]

Like I really feel bad for you.

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I disagree. I mean, he is a sad ####, but not for the suit


Nov 13, 2019, 8:19 AM

thing. I have one suit (with a hole in it) and wear it to weddings, funerals, and job interviews. I have no need for another suit. I mean, I could wear it to church, but why? God don't GAFF what I wear so I just wear chaps and a condom like everyone else.

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a condom????


Nov 13, 2019, 8:30 AM

ye of little faith!

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


You can always tell the Methodist in the crowd***


Nov 13, 2019, 8:41 AM [ in reply to I disagree. I mean, he is a sad ####, but not for the suit ]



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I like your funny words magic man


Re: Weddings are a ####### scam


Nov 13, 2019, 7:46 AM

This is why i did suits for my groomsmen instead of tuxes. I know for a fact they've worn them multiple times.

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Thankfully my wife was experienced in the wedding


Nov 13, 2019, 8:03 AM

department when we got married.

Very tasteful. Very cheap.

We wore suits that the guys had the option to buy.

The girls picked out their own dress as long as it was a certain color. They could also chose to keep the dress too.

Let them do their own makeup and hair.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I like your funny words magic man


Man, if you'd have gone ahead with that separation


Nov 13, 2019, 7:52 AM

you wouldn't have to do any of that. Seeing as your kind are the reason SC makes folks be separated a year before getting divorced, y'all would have been back together by Thanksgiving.

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I've been in more weddings than I can remember, and I don't


Nov 13, 2019, 7:56 AM

ever recall a hair and makeup person, particularly for the males. I'd laugh in whoever's stupid face that suggested I spend $100 on hair and makeup. Or what? I'm not in the wedding? Cool. I don't even have hair. Here's $100 for doing nothing, you know, because it's mandatory.

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Re: I've been in more weddings than I can remember, and I don't


Nov 13, 2019, 8:01 AM

For real. Hair and makeup for the dudes would be a full stop No from me dawg. Tell the groom to get control of his woman.

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That’s a hard no from me dawg....***


Nov 13, 2019, 8:18 AM



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Fancier the wedding, the worse the result


Nov 13, 2019, 7:59 AM

Just the general trend. I don't need to explain to you why because I know you know why.

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ENOUGH MONEY TO AFFORD CLEAVING THAT LYING B!TCH FROM YOUR


Nov 13, 2019, 8:14 AM

LIFE, AMIRITE?

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Wow, you absolutely nailed that.


Nov 13, 2019, 8:48 AM

I'm just awed and speechless. Really.

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weddings pay my bills mane


Nov 13, 2019, 8:00 AM

Booking bands and slinging drinks.

I love weddings

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Wait...the men HAVE to use a hair/makeup person for $100??***


Nov 13, 2019, 8:02 AM



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Have you seen how ugly and unkempt FBCOACH is IRL?


Nov 13, 2019, 8:04 AM

That sounds like a pretty good deal.

I imagine they hired an undertaker to do the work.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Probably wasn't very clear.


Nov 13, 2019, 8:04 AM [ in reply to Wait...the men HAVE to use a hair/makeup person for $100??*** ]

the hair and makeup is for the girls.

Of which I have 2 in the wedding party.

Yay

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I like your funny words magic man


Re: Weddings are a ####### scam


Nov 13, 2019, 8:19 AM

The life I lead I dont wear suits and havent needed to for years. I didnt have one that fit anymore. Everyone I thought was married or not getting married anymore. Anyway, my good Clemson buddy got married last year and I had to go buy a suit I will probably never wear again. It cost me 1300 bucks for the suit, shoes, belt, shirt, tie. Thats cheap too. Thats Banana Republic. Thats without getting a hotel in Charleston and a flight. If anyone ever invites me to another wedding I am not going. I will decline. Weeddings are a waste of money for all involved, including the couple getting married.

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You messed up, Men's Warehouse has $250 suits.***


Nov 13, 2019, 8:28 AM



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Or Jos. A Banks...


Nov 13, 2019, 8:38 AM

I bought a suit from there for like $100-150 years ago. It had this ridiculous price tag that said $999 on it. For lulz, I left the tag hanging out of the front pocket in a real conspicuous way and wait for people to point out that my tag is showing... Then I make a GOB (from Arrested Development) type comment about being embarrassed that the tag was showing on my THOUSAND DOLLAR SUIT. It always gets a laugh like 60% of the time.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Kind of want to see a pic of you in a 1300 suit to see


Nov 13, 2019, 8:38 AM [ in reply to Re: Weddings are a ####### scam ]

if it's enough to make me ghey.

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Re: Kind of want to see a pic of you in a 1300 suit to see


Nov 13, 2019, 8:59 AM

The suit wasnt 1300 bucks. Thats with shoes, belts, socks, shirt, and tie, and tailor.

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Still.....


Nov 13, 2019, 9:04 AM

Shoes - $150
Belt - $50
Socks - $20
Shirt - $90
Tie - $85
Tailor - $75

Suit - $830

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Oh, but NOTHING beats a "south of Broad" wedding....


Nov 13, 2019, 8:54 AM [ in reply to Re: Weddings are a ####### scam ]

With the reception at Hibernian Hall, and open bar free liquor, with your choice of Jack, Crown, or Maker's Mark. Plus points if you have a trolley rented for the wedding party and a horse-drawn carriage to whisk the happy couple from the church to the reception and then to the hotel.

Then when they get back from your honeymoon, they can send everyone the articles from the society section of the paper describing the "grand affair" with a who's who list of attendees.

DOOMED....90%+ odds.

Ok I'll edit this for the happy ending. Afterwards she moves to live with her new hubby in a small house in a middle class neighborhood that was formerly a bachelor pad for 10 years. After about a year hubby discovers she's been sleeping with the best man. It ends poorly. Fast forward another two years. She meets a redneck with a beard who lives in a trailer in BFE and they get married in a small ceremony, and she starts spitting out kids. So chick raised in a $2 million house, who went to all the right schools, had all the right friends, had the perfect wedding, married the perfect guy who was an up and coming successful (insert profession here), blows it all to end up with what really makes her happy.

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My entire wedding cost under $1000.***


Nov 13, 2019, 8:44 AM



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And interest rates were 12%***


Nov 13, 2019, 9:09 AM



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Irony not lost that the down payment on my first house


Nov 13, 2019, 9:15 AM

was paid for with a CD my grandfather started in the 70's for me. Using a high interest savings instrument from the past to finance a low interest housing investment for the future.

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Is the reception at Club 17 or Suck,Bang,Blow?


Nov 13, 2019, 9:11 AM

What kind of car are they driving from the reception to their honeymoon in Myrtle Beach? Uncle's 1986 Corvette? Cousin's 2005 Chrysler 300C?

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^^^anyone who uses Club 17 in a post, automatically


Nov 13, 2019, 9:28 AM

get POTD^^^

Cungrats!

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If she's a hollerer, she'll be a screamer.
If she's a screamer, she'll get you arrested.


There's a home football game this weekend


Nov 13, 2019, 12:19 PM

WhoTF gets married in the south on a home football date?

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The most selfish ##### in the world


Nov 13, 2019, 12:23 PM

If a woman gets married on a Saturday in the fall in the South, nothing good is going to come from that marriage. Because EVERYTHING in life is going to have to be about her.

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Mrs Fluff was happy to do a Friday in the fall


Nov 13, 2019, 3:06 PM

because schedules weren't out yet when we were planning

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I attend first weddings only.


Nov 14, 2019, 7:47 AM

There's no way I'm dropping a grand on anyone's wedding except my daughters'. One Browning 12 ga pump will work for all five.

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5 daughters?


Nov 14, 2019, 8:01 AM

No wonder you're grumpy all the time

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I like your funny words magic man


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