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Replies: 45
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Legend [16366]
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Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 20, 2016, 11:14 PM
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Happy Thanksgiving, TNet - I'll be wordsmithing all week in anticipation of another Class A royal pluckfest on Saturday night. Enjoy & GO TIGERS.
Emerging from dumpster fire embers,
The Gamecock collective remembers
That Tigertown's best
Will dampen their zest -
Bad football yields quiet Decembers.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 20, 2016, 11:15 PM
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When Spurrier ran for the hills,
Thus ended the transient thrills.
The chickens ain't cluckin -
They're sadly thumb-suckin.
They know Clemson does what it wills.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 20, 2016, 11:25 PM
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Those Cluckers won't know what has hit 'em
When Christian and Dex come and get 'em!
'Tween noise from the Hill
And turf in their grill,
They'll know that the Tigers have bit 'em!
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All-TigerNet [10903]
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Coots are thinking upset, when they roll into town,
Nov 21, 2016, 12:08 AM
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Coots are thinking upset, when they roll into town,
But Wilkins & Big Dex start smackin' them around.
The Tigers start rolling, like a well oiled machine,
The coots are flushed like a turd in the latrine,
And Will Muss Craps when we put the hammer down.
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All-TigerNet [10903]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 12:34 AM
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The coots are pretty good in girl's b-ball and fishing,
But when it comes to football, they're just hoping & wishing.
Hoping for a miracle come Saturday night,
And wishing their team could just get it right.
But too bad for the chickens, they leave town with another butt kicking!
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Orange Blooded [4789]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 12:41 AM
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Deer Coots;
There once was a Coot from Nantucket
I forget the rest but your mother's a #####.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 1:11 AM
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CU Medallion [52826]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 6:12 AM
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There once was a bunch from State center
Who had no more sense than to enter
The Valley of Death
Took all of their breath
And made them bow down to the winner
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Orange Blooded [4789]
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Orange Blooded [4757]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 6:51 AM
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Watson, Gallman, and Scott
Will score on the Gamecocks a lot
Todd Ellis will say
"Touchdown, Clemson" all day
And their season will come to jack squat.
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Orange Blooded [4754]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:13 AM
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There once was a team from the Midlands
With a delirious hoard as football fans
They're a member of the SEC East
Which scared no one in the least
They cringed as Clemson scored on demand.
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Orange Blooded [4757]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:19 AM
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There once was a mascot named Cocky
His team's season was rather rocky.
When the Tigers met Bentley
They did not treat him gently--
Fighting Gamecock? More like chicken teriyaki.
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Orange Blooded [4757]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:30 AM
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Ben Boulware is scary and mean
To every running back he's ever seen.
Getting suplexed all day,
##### will whimper away
Hearing echoes of "sikshty shree-sheventeen!".
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Orange Blooded [4757]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:30 AM
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The team dressed in Garnet and Black
And came into the Valley talking smack.
But Wilkins and Dexter
Pummeled Bentley's protectors
And put Dowdle flat on his back.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:46 AM
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The Coots' best electronics choosers
Can keep their nice stuff from abusers.
Will Muschamp's headset
Won't ever get wet -
No Gatorade bath for the losers.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 12:12 PM
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The Gamecocks' tight end's pretty shifty,
And Bentley, to them's rather nifty,
But Saturday night
The Tigers will smite
The Chickens and on them hang 50.
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Legend [16489]
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Optimistically the coots certainly try,
Nov 21, 2016, 12:20 PM
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But they realize that later they'll cry.
When the Tigers first show,
The coots, they all know,
Why coaches go to their town to die.
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Standout [310]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 12:26 PM
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Not too good at this but will give it a shot.
Their team mascot is Gamecock
When Spurrier was their coach they thought a National Championship was a lock
But reality has set in
A National Championship they will never win
The Tigers they will soon not mock
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 3:27 PM
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The Coots have a good head of steam;
Their champions' hearts all a-gleam.
Their foes will all yield
When thence takes the field
Their women's equestrian team.
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Standout [310]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 4:34 PM
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With their new coach the coots have
Their wins were nothing but halve
A bowl game they are eligible
But that is negligible
Their Ice tastes like it came from the Lav
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CU Guru [1186]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 5:01 PM
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Their fanbase's mullets are ratty,
And Coach Will is part-goober, part fatty,
But I guess "SEC pride"
Means rooting for the Tide
Cause the cawks #### sure don't ever reach the Natty!
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 5:47 PM
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The Coots say, "They're bumpkins from farms,
With minimal scruples or charms."
But coming this week
Is a smack in the beak!
Sound the chicken crybaby alarms!
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 6:18 PM
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In lead-up to Gamecock demise,
Be sure to be tactful and wise.
When ordering food,
Be proud but not rude -
A Gamecock is cooking those fries...
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:34 PM
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They'll whine and get very disputish;
They'll say Boulware's tackling's too brutish.
Instead of competing,
They'll run, whipped and bleeding,
Irrelevant, dopey, and cootish.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 7:53 PM
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The players get caught by the Fuzz,
The 'coming hot streak' never does.
Muschamp will concede more
Of Spurrier's need for
A drunken perpetual buzz.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 9:15 PM
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Columbia's finest won't last
Too long once the first quarter's passed.
That SEC speed
Won't cover the need
To be much more skillful and fast.
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Orange Blooded [2826]
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There once was a singer named Rucker...
Nov 21, 2016, 9:16 PM
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There once was a singer named Rucker
Who challenged his team to not pucker
If six games go wrong
I'll sing you a song
Cause each minute there's born a new sucker
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110%er [6981]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 21, 2016, 9:39 PM
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As Bentley feels the impact
Of another bone-crushing sack
His thinks of his mom
And skipping the prom
Oh how he'd love to go back
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 22, 2016, 8:41 AM
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It seems as the whoopin' approaches,
The Coots are avoiding reproaches.
They slink in dark corners
Like powerless mourners,
Dead set to resemble cockroaches.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 22, 2016, 4:20 PM
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The dominant Clemson defenders
Are gonna be butt-whoopin' vendors.
They'll make sure we see,
On field and TV,
Some chickens strung up by their tenders!
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 22, 2016, 9:52 PM
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Regardless of CFP rank,
There's more than enough in our tank
To outright manhandle
And fully dismantle
Some Coots who are easy to spank.
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Orange Blooded [2368]
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With a HS quarterback
Nov 22, 2016, 11:47 PM
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With a HS quarterback
They think they are back like cooked cracked
But Ole' Mus-coot
Best get ready to take one up the poop chute
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 23, 2016, 1:21 AM
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Jadaveon Clowney's a crock -
The scouts put too much in his stock.
His Cootish demeanor
Makes him a big wiener -
He couldn't hold Vic Beasley's jock.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 23, 2016, 7:51 AM
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Sans talent or coaching ability,
Deficient in smarts and facility,
The Gamecocks give ample
Displays of example
Of exercises in futility.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 23, 2016, 9:19 PM
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On eve of the Thanksgiving break,
We ponder for gratefulness' sake,
The fact that we're slated
To spank the inflated
Ol' Chickens and make their butts ache.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 24, 2016, 10:26 AM
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A Tiger fan's weekend report:
We've gathered for foods of all sort!
The turkey we'll eat
Was killed for it's meat,
But chickens will be killed for sport!
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 24, 2016, 3:50 PM
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While stuffing our bellies with grub,
And padding physiques with some flub,
We know the Coots' 'threats'
Will turn to regrets:
Their spurs will be ground to a nub.
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CU Guru [1686]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 24, 2016, 6:23 PM
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Hickory dickory dock, time is up for dirtpeckers...(see what i did there)
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Orange Blooded [3650]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 24, 2016, 7:23 PM
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The coots used to point at their thumb
But Watson has made that feeling go numb
Dabo is Muschamps Daddy
Will take the tigers to the natty
While the coots watch a concert by Rucker
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 24, 2016, 9:56 PM
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Recouping from dinner is somethin'!
My Thanksgiving meal's got me plumpin'!
Indulging is rough,
But not near as tough
As sleeping off Boulware's skull thumpin'!
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110%er [7831]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 25, 2016, 12:39 AM
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Coots Suck
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 25, 2016, 8:59 AM
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Will Muschamp's 'methodical' plan
To make sure our boys get outran
Will stop with a lurch
Like a fart in a church -
Their crap's gonna hit an orange fan.
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Orange Blooded [3244]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 25, 2016, 10:26 AM
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As the Gamecocks line up, Bentley browses
Defenders the size of big houses.
He gets the snap then
Here comes Dexter, and Ben
And he promptly must go change his trousers.
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 25, 2016, 12:22 PM
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Our spirited rivalry's due
For usual things, nothin' new.
The Coots sure love lippin',
But they'll get a whippin' -
Is it still trash talk if it's true?
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 26, 2016, 10:30 AM
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Awake, Tiger Nation - Arise!
Ring out your victorious cries!
We're gonna watch feathers
Be plucked from the nethers
Of Coots as their confidence dies!
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Legend [16366]
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Re: Shamecock Limericks: Rivalry Week Edition
Nov 26, 2016, 10:39 AM
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Good news for the field surface team!
Though drought, yet the turf will stay green.
The grass will look fresh
Because of the flesh
Of the butchered up Coot football team.
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Replies: 45
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