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YOUR BALANCE
SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)
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SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 6:29 AM

Just do what good Furman fans do -
Put purple stuff all over you.
Our Tigers can help!
You might cry and yelp,
But bruises will look purple, too.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 6:31 AM

You Paladin folks are right fine,
And many are great friends of mine,
But football’s our thing -
The proof’s in the ring.
Just focus on chilling your wine.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 6:32 AM

You erudite academicians
Are not above moral suspicions.
Your hats say “F U” -
That’s edgy, it’s true.
Y’all friends with those c0ck-obsessed chickens??

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 7:01 AM

The Upstate community sings -
This game and the spirit it brings
Stirs goodwill, not bad.
But, y’all, don’t get mad
When Dex starts to do Big Dex things.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 7:47 AM

There once was a man from McNoot
Who had warts on the end of his, Oh um
My bad, Different subject

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The quality of those limericks


Aug 27, 2018, 7:53 AM

went south very quickly

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monter le cheval de fer
A coot will usually blink when hit in the head with a ball-peen hammer


Re: The quality of those limericks


Aug 27, 2018, 9:09 AM

2k, there is not quite enough
High drama this week, so it’s tough
To maintain the snarky,
Poetic malarkey
I’m used to, so let’s see your stuff!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 9:04 AM

So Furman’s that neighborhood kid
Who, when we played football, just hid.
We fin’lly convinced him,
But “over-intensed” him -
He played, but does not wish he did.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 9:50 AM

Hey, Furman might do us a favor.
We get ‘em to falter and waver
And give up quick scores?
This opens the doors
For offense with Lawrencine flavor!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS


Aug 27, 2018, 11:29 AM

I’ll try not to look so amused,
But might have to just be excused -
I’m spewing my drink!
Do y’all really think
That Furman can hang?? I’m confused.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 11:36 AM

At Willy B, liquor’s a-flowin,
But grass has just not been a-growin’.
They’ll peck up the earth,
Re-sod it with turf,
Then get back to losin’ and crowin’.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 12:17 PM

It’s hard to domesticate birds -
They don’t respond well to wise words.
They’ve trashed their own yard,
And fixing it’s hard -
At least they feed grass with their turds.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 12:21 PM

The Paladin faithful are buzzin’!
Each purpled-out brother and cousin
Is touchdown-obsessed,
But they’ll be depressed
Once Etienne scores a few dozen.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 4:24 PM

The finest D-line in the land
Will leave Furman nowhere to stand.
They’ll snap the durn ball,
Run into a wall,
And see they’re completely outmanned.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 6:49 PM

These are clever and amusing-thank you! The last one may be my fave, although I liked the reply to 21, too.

I could not, even given a year and an incentive of a million dollars, come up with even one limerick.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 7:38 PM

Thanks man! High brow trash talk is funny -
I try to be biting and punny.
If you’re offered pay,
I’ll write ‘em all day,
As long as you share half the money.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 7:20 PM

Columbia’s famously hot,
But their University’s not.
They failed to foresee
There might need to be
Some grass in their big yard-bird lot.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 8:58 PM

What would you say to a couple (of Tiger fans) who are celebrating their 65th anniversary?

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 30, 2018, 7:55 PM

Some might say your best days were olden,
But years, for these Tigers, embolden
A Joy that grows bigger
With wisdom, with vigor -
Your legacy truly shines golden.

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If you get paid for that, Tmale me. I’m a struggling poet, here.


Aug 30, 2018, 7:55 PM [ in reply to Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing) ]



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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 27, 2018, 9:21 PM

Roses are orange
Violets are purple...

GO TIGERS!!!

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......


Aug 27, 2018, 9:59 PM

I use to run with a coot from Powdersville
But I hurt my knee when we ran up a hill
And for now all I can do is take a slow walk
And listen to the Gamecock crow and sqwawk
Until this fall when we collect the bill the day our Tigers run down THE HILL


Spud

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 8:17 AM

I hope that when Saturday comes,
The Coots can stop flapping their gums
For just enough time
To water and lyme
Their grass, ‘fore it’s covered with bums.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 3:04 PM

Somebody TD’d my OP.
I wonder which one it might be -
A Paladin lurker,
A Dawg mischief-worker,
Or Coot with an IQ of 3?

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 3:50 PM

A guy in a dark purple cardi
I met at a charity party
Said, “Clemson alum?”
I nod. He says, “Bum.”
I said, “See ya Saturday, smarty.”

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 6:57 PM

For grass, which calamity’s worse?
The fact that Coots live with a curse,
Or Jay-Z upon it
A-spittin’ the vomit
Of profane, irreverent verse?

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 7:34 PM

The talent gap’s quite a distortion
But Furman will make a small fortune.
The price they must pay
For such a payday?
A beat down of epic proportions!!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 28, 2018, 7:37 PM

Oooh nice

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 29, 2018, 6:32 AM

Our stable of talent will deepen -
QBs will leave defenses weepin’.
If I may be bold, though,
The sight to behold, yo,
Is Tee Higgins’ vertical leapin’.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 29, 2018, 2:20 PM

Take note, lest the point be forgotten,
That once the ref’s whistlin’ and spottin’
Our stifling D
Your nightmare shall be -
We’ll look like a fire in the cotton.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 30, 2018, 7:12 PM

It looks like there might be some weathers
This first of the year’s get-togethers,
But you’ve never seen
A downpour as mean
As cryin’ when Dex stomps yer nethers.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 6:08 AM

Hey Coot - that new scr!pt on your head?
It’s typic’lly not black and red.
It’s Chapel Hill’s thing!
Some Heels might just bring
Trademark allegations, they said.

Apparently “scr ipt” is on the list of censored words?


Message was edited by: bdrechs®


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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 6:12 AM

Then how should we make the game fair?
Put in the young buck with the hair?
He’s not gonna start,
But he’ll rip apart
Your defense when KB’s not there!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 7:47 AM

Wilkins, Lawrence and Bryant
With Cle-missle will be defiant
Both QB's will toss
TD's to Higgins and Ross
And the Tiger's score will be giant

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 8:21 AM

Furman's landscaping is surely top notch
But their fans won't want to watch
This saturday's game
Clemson is bringing the pain
and the Paladins will be seeing spots

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 2:00 PM

The home scoreboard’s initiation
Won’t lack any bright excitation.
The board will get rung up
And might just get hung up
While feeling a burning sensation!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 4:17 PM

Tailgaters are flooding the area!
Excitement’s so high it would scare ya!
This Tigertown air’s
The best anywheres.
Try tellin’ us diff’rent - I dare ya.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 5:50 PM

Although Furman fans are enthused,
Their players are ‘bout to get used
As poster statistics
For human ballistics.
They’re gonna get straight-up abused.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Aug 31, 2018, 8:43 PM

I’ll tell you what tingles my giblets -
The score digits might reach the triplets!
The Tigers will find
That Furman’s D-line
Is basic’lly morsel-sized niblets.

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Sep 1, 2018, 8:18 AM

The fervor and pride is astounding!
With Cadence Counts loud and resounding,
All Clemson gets wound up!
The pressure’s been bound up -
Now Paladins get the first pounding!

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Re: SEASON OPENER LIMERICKS (includes Gamecock bashing)


Sep 1, 2018, 9:03 AM

The deafening roar of the fans,
The “pop” when our D wrecks their plans,
And Tiger Band’s tunes -
It’s been many moons!
Let’s hear that sweet music again!

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Replies: 40
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