IT'S TIME

Feb 6, 2018, 8:23 PM

NOTICE DUE TO THE GREAT RECRUITING YEAR AND THE OUTSTANDING PROSPECT OF CLEMSON FOOTBALL THE TRIP IS BEING POSTPONED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. WE WILL JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND WIPE SWEAT. ALL PROVISIONS WILL BE FREEZE DRIED TO PREVENT SPOILAGE.

According to climate change experts the earth is rapidly reaching the point that humans can no longer survive here. I have not been sitting around idly doing nothing. I have built a two stage vehicle capable of reaching Mars. My ship was constructed primarily from junk yard parts and equipment scrounged from various construction sites. The first stage is powered by a 8.4 liter 640 HP V 10 gasoline engine. This was necessary due to the high torque generated by this power plant to leave earth's gravity . The second stage is powered by a Caterpillar C12 1400 HP diesel engine. She was christened " Mars or Bust" by Miss Waffle House 1994 with a 6 year old bottle of Bush Light. The following supplies have been procured and stowed aboard ready for departure:

1. 100 cases of Lance Peanut Butter Crackers
2. 100 cases of Vienna Sausages
3. 100 cases of Moon Pies
4. 50 cases of Nehi Grape Drinks
5. 50 cases of Nehi Orange Drinks
6. 50 cases of Hershey Bars with Almonds
7. 100 cases of toilet paper
8. 50 cases of paper towels
9. 20 cases of garbage bags
10. 50 Homer buckets from Home Depot
11. 75 cases of Spam

The Ship's crew consist of individuals with impeccable credentials and are as follows:

Captain........Me
Pilot..........Harrison Ford
Technical Adviser and Navigator...........Stephen Hawkins
Weapons Officer Sigourney Weaver
Natural Resources Officer...........Ole Spud
Inter-Galactic Interpreter..........Art Bell
Sanitation and Latrine Officers.........Well, you know who you are

This will be a one way flight, space is limited, all seats reserved on a first come basis. Good looking wimmen will be moved to the front of the line. Sorry no COOTS!

Message was edited by: Purple Gunstock 15®

Message was edited by: Purple Gunstock 15®