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Heisman Winner [111433]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 73692
Joined: 9/10/03
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I have decided to become successful
May 15, 2012, 1:43 PM
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Sunbelt rentals has 27 locations throughout the south east and provide heavy equipment rentals for use in the construction industry.
With the construction industry being one of the hardest hit in the recession, and investors still hesitant to invest in new development projects, Sunbelt has fallen on hard times.
I have a plan to save them.
First order of business will be to fire all 600 employees, and offer to re-hire some them for a fraction of their previous salaries, as well as a slash int their pension funds. The second move will be to straddle them with a high interest loan from a banker buddy of mine over at JP Morgan, he is going to give me a 10% finders fee just to start.
total liquid assets in heavy construction machinery is valued at over 24 million dollars, property, another 16, and employee pensions at around 6 million. We can use this as collateral for the mega interest loan my friends are willing to give.
I will make some money if construction improves and the business picks up,in the way of a modest 1 million dollar consulting fee, but I am betting that it won't, not in the SE region anyway. You see, a nother good friend of mine sits in congress and has tipped me off the Obamas highway stiumlus which was estimated to create 10 million jobs will get stonewalled on the floor by the majority republicans. It is good to know people in high places.
Once the interest payments consume the company, I will outline a structured bankruptcy plan for the company, and sell off all the heavy machinery to construction companies in China and Brazil who have lots of development projects underway.
The Beauty of this is that the federal government will have to step in and Taxpayers will cover the loss. The remaining employees will receive a small portion of their pensions, the rest I will pocket. I will also get 10% of the liquidation of assets on top of my 1 million dollar consulting fee.
All and All I am hoping for a 4 million dollar profit without investing a dime of my own money. Sure, several families who have worked for sunbelt will be adversely affected, losing their homes, suffering divorce, and drifting to a life of alcoholism and drug abuse, but hey, there are no winners like me with out a lot of losers.
I have been wrong all this time not to think I can not have my slice of the pie, even if it destroys families and small businesses.
One day I may even run for president.
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All-TigerNet [12269]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2/19/99
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Phi?***
May 15, 2012, 2:00 PM
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Heisman Winner [111433]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 73692
Joined: 9/10/03
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Re: I have decided to become successful
May 15, 2012, 2:07 PM
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this is parady and satire... BTW, no harm intended to Sunbelt, who I have no idea if is struggling or not.
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CU Medallion [50635]
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Posts: 43019
Joined: 12/3/98
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thanks for telling me it was satire,you had me for a second***
May 15, 2012, 2:23 PM
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Hall of Famer [23693]
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Joined: 8/19/03
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Ring of Honor [32958]
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Joined: 3/5/02
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Now I have a dilemma.
May 15, 2012, 3:31 PM
[ in reply to Re: I have decided to become successful ] |
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Am I supposed to admit my previous post may have been tongue-in-cheek? Oh crap, now I probably won't sleep tonight.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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Too late. I'm taking it seriously.***
May 15, 2012, 3:37 PM
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Varsity [203]
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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what the***
May 17, 2012, 12:01 PM
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Ring of Honor [32958]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 53106
Joined: 3/5/02
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Great plan. I wish you luck.***
May 15, 2012, 2:08 PM
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All-In [31864]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 37166
Joined: 11/22/03
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Or plan B....
May 17, 2012, 12:33 PM
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risk your assets somewhere else and let Sunbelt go out of business.
600 employees lose their jobs and pensions.
You can then run for POTUS under the dem ticket since understanding of business is frowned upon.
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