Re: Geechie Boy, Edisto Island

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What are Grits:

Nov 19, 2015, 1:42 AM

What Are Grits?
Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by
shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people think grits
are made from ground up bits of white corn.
These are lies spread by communists and terrorists.
Nothing as good as a Grits could be made from corn. Research suggests that the
mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in
the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits.
Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt,
and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his
people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.
How Grits are formed?
Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes
over 1,000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in
Georgia and are guarded day and night by armed guards and attack dogs.
Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their
lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning
for breakfast-- not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the
question.
Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits. They call them Cream of
Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are
Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been
shown to cause nausea, and can leave you unable to have children.
Historical Grits:
As mentioned earlier, the first known mention of the Grits was by the Ancient
Israelites in the Sinai Desert. After that, Grits were not heard from for
another 1000 years. Grits were used during this time only during secret
religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public. The next mention of Grits
was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's
personal diary discovered in the seat of an old sedan. The woman's name was
Herculania Jemimana, who was known as Aunt Jemima to her friends.
How to Cook Grits:
For one serving of Grits: Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little
butter. Add 5 Tbsp. of Grits.
Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. When a pencil
stuck into the grits stands alone, they are done. That's all there is to
cooking grits.
How to make red eye gravy:
Fry salt cured country ham in cast-iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add
coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. It’s great on grits and
biscuits.
How to Eat Grits:
Immediately after removing your grits from the stovetop, add a generous
portion of butter or red eye gravy.
Do NOT use low-fat butter. The butter should cause the Grits to turn a
wondrous shade of yellow. Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your
Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter. In lieu of
butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. There should
be some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Use biscuits made from
scratch. Never, ever substitute canned or store-bought biscuits for the real
thing because they can cause cancer, tooth decay and impotence.
Next, add salt. The correct ratio of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore, for every
10 grits you should have 1 grain of salt. Now begin eating your grits. Always
use a fork; never use a spoon to eat grits. Your grits should be thick enough
so they do not run through the tines of the fork. The correct beverage to
serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim
Milk. Your grits should rarely be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think
its Cream of Wheat.
Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:
Leftover grits are extremely rare and may only be a rumor. Spread them in the
bottom of a casserole dish; cover and place them in the refrigerator
overnight. The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. Next morning, slice
the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2' of cooking oil and butter until
they turn a golden brown.
Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of
course, unacceptable but delicious.

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Grits is Groceries!

Re: Grits is Groceries!

Re: Grits is Groceries!

That's a song, alright. I remember Wet Willie doing it in

Definitely Little Milton.***

I have no idea who they support but

Re: Grits is Groceries!

You are so wrong

Re: Grits is Groceries!

you should try out Grits N Groceries in Belton

Pass it every game day morn, Must be great - always PACKED!***

Re: Grits is Groceries!

Re: Grits is Groceries!

Just make sure they are the yellow, way better than white.***

Re: Just make sure they are the yellow, way better than white.***

In South Bend in 1979 they had NO idea what these were when

Re: In South Bend in 1979 they had NO idea what these were when

Field sounds like the crown Ford had in DV so

Re: Field sounds like the crown Ford had in DV so

RIP to your Dad - He'd be proud of his Tigers.***

Re: RIP to your Dad - He'd be proud of his Tigers.***

Geechie Boy, Edisto Island

What are Grits:

Re: What are Grits:

Re: Grits is Groceries!

http://www.palmettofarms.com/***

Re: Grits is Groceries!

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