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CU Medallion [64837]
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Funny Joke
Nov 22, 2019, 9:42 AM
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My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled hiim aside and asked "how soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in 10 minutes. Meet me in the parking garage."
TXtigerfan
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Hall of Famer [22748]
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Uncle used to tell the joke (I think it was a joke)
Nov 22, 2019, 11:33 PM
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Uncle was friends with the OB doctor. After his first kid was born, the doctor was stitching back up the wife from below. Doc looked at uncle, said 'this ones for you', and put in an extra stitch to tighten things even more.
Dunno if that's even possible, but we surely enjoyed the story.
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Pretty much every lying bagadouche ever born with kids says this.
Nov 22, 2019, 11:56 PM
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It’s like the litmus test for pedophiles. If anyone in your life that was older than you and was crazily open with uncomfortable sexual ideasor topics, they were either hurt or trying to hurt you. I’m sorry you had that uncle. I hope he was just inappropriate. Probably not though.
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Hall of Famer [22748]
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Well that took a dark turn quickly
Nov 23, 2019, 12:22 AM
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That was the only sexual conversation. Though we did find his stack of Playboys hidden within Good Housekeeping covers in the laundry room / bathroom.
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Boom!
Nov 23, 2019, 12:24 AM
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Sorry. I’ve been drinking.
Happy bye week.
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Oculus Spirit [93157]
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All-TigerNet [13356]
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Re: Uncle used to tell the joke (I think it was a joke)
Nov 23, 2019, 8:57 AM
[ in reply to Uncle used to tell the joke (I think it was a joke) ] |
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I’ve had a very similar experience. We had an “on call” OB deliver one ours and he was an older doc with a great bed-side manner. He looked up and said, “What do ya think young man- one more stich?.... nah let’s make it two!”
I was crying laughing .... then later I asked him if I got profiled into that statement.
Great guy!
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Oculus Spirit [93157]
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Good joke there.
Nov 23, 2019, 7:22 AM
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Another,
A mature man and his equally mature wife were trying to put more life in their relationship(s). They played a variety of games in which the winner was awarded his or her favorite sexual activity.
During a heated game of tag the guy rushed up the stairs with the woman not so close behind. He got a bit of a lead heading down the hall and ducked into the hall bath without her noticing. After she rushed by he headed back to the stairs and took the express down the handrail.
Being a sport the woman followed but found the rail to be slick enough that she couldn't bail out before hitting the cap on the newel post. The cap got hung in the tender place so it was off to the hospital for them.
They put the old girl under and the husband waited just outside the OR. The doctor came out and asked the man just how tight he wanted it. The man said, 'I dunno, can you make it about like your wife's.' The doctor said, 'Take her back and slide her down that handrail a couple more times.'
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All-TigerNet [13356]
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Re: Funny Joke- true story
Nov 23, 2019, 9:02 AM
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A good buddy of mine- Clemson alum- has his first child via C-section.
12 hours after delivery they found themselves alone in the hospital room. Buddy locks the door and start to make moves on his wife when she asks, “What the F do you think you’re doing?!?”
He explains that he’s in the mood and they are alone....
She explains she just had a baby and that ain’t happening!
He innocently lets her know it will be fine... it’s not like you had a vaginal birth!
She smacked him right in the face and told him to go take a cold shower.
She loves telling this story and to see how imbarassed my buddy gets as she tells it every time is priceless.
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Replies: 8
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