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Replies: 53
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Attn Lunge. By this time next week I may be dead.
Jun 21, 2016, 10:39 AM
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Somehow I thought it a good idea to agree to a #beachtrip with the family. This is for an 8BR house in Cherry Grove with
1. My crossfitter school administrator brother, his homemaker, their two kids (4 and 4 months).
2. My hippy sister, her idealistic shitforbrains husband, their child (9 months)
3. My parents(no issues there),
4. My in-laws (Trump supporting FIL who's been on disability for a decade, overbearing MIL who always sports a large styrofoam diet coke wherever she goes)
5. My grandparents (granddad is a cool liberal beer man, grandmother will think we'll drown everytime we go in the ocean)
I'm not sure how it will begin, but I know for a fact there will be conflict.
Hippy sister will pissoff mother. Idealistic brother in law will wax poetically about lack of parental responsibility and organic foods, then sneak off to get stoned. Overbearing in-laws will ... well it doesn't really matter, by that point I'll likely have drank myself to death.
#beachtips Don't go.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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I hope you've been copying all of these fantastic beach
Jun 21, 2016, 10:41 AM
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tips to a word document to print out and take with you.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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It'll be laminated. #bonerpit***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:42 AM
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Heisman Winner [137838]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63772
Joined: 10/22/00
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Wouldn't wearing two bathing suits affect my buoyancy and
Jun 21, 2016, 10:44 AM
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make me more susceptible to rip currents?
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Heisman Winner [137838]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63772
Joined: 10/22/00
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Actually, it probably won't matter.
Jun 21, 2016, 10:46 AM
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You'll likely be dead from the non-organic GMO swill you're eating before you make it onto the beach.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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Well, his BIL's #### is organic, sooo...***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:46 AM
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All-In [29076]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 15470
Joined: 4/14/11
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BIL has probably had to use some sort of "pesticides" on
Jun 21, 2016, 11:45 AM
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his #### before so probably not organic technically.
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56098
Joined: 9/13/04
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Everybody always talks about how great it is to spend time
Jun 21, 2016, 10:41 AM
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with their family.
I find its great the LESS time I spend with my family.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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McLovin is the only person I know who really enjoys family
Jun 21, 2016, 10:42 AM
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time.
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Oculus Spirit [85219]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24896
Joined: 5/21/14
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Nice
Jun 21, 2016, 10:49 AM
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I did have an enjoyable trip with the family last week that included in-laws.
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Heisman Winner [135548]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91612
Joined: 12/6/98
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56098
Joined: 9/13/04
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If my siblings and I weren't directly related
Jun 21, 2016, 10:53 AM
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I'd have no reason to ever speak to any of them. In fact, I don't think I have in months. I have a general idea where they live, but have never been to any of their houses.
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Oculus Spirit [75705]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 108840
Joined: 10/26/03
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HAHA.***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:43 AM
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110%er [5887]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 4884
Joined: 10/21/07
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Re: Attn Lunge. By this time next week I may be dead.
Jun 21, 2016, 10:45 AM
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Don't swim in the water or you'll get a disease from the poo water and die.
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Oculus Spirit [81019]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56098
Joined: 9/13/04
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
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Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Brave move mixing the in-laws with your own family
Jun 21, 2016, 10:46 AM
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Does the house have a crows nest? Those are like the perfect spot to go get stoned.
While there may be conflict, I just hope for your sake that none of those people are the "we have to go out to eat when I want to every night" types. Nothing worse than being drunk on the beach, and having your aunt pester you about coming in to get ready, because she wants to drive an hour away to some stupid tourist trap restaurant.
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110%er [5887]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 4884
Joined: 10/21/07
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Re: Brave move mixing the in-laws with your own family
Jun 21, 2016, 10:46 AM
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DICK'S LAST RESORT HAS THE BEST BURGERS, MAN. OH AND THEY'RE SO IRREVERANT AS SERVERS THAT'S ITS IRONICALLY FUNNY
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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They're the types that love to cook. The only brightside
Jun 21, 2016, 10:52 AM
[ in reply to Brave move mixing the in-laws with your own family ] |
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I'm seeing is multiple sources of free childcare for me and the Mrs. to go out and get drunk most evenings. And afternoons. And mornings.
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All-In [40344]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23463
Joined: 7/13/12
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have they already planned the menu for each night?
Jun 21, 2016, 10:54 AM
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nothing worse than
lasagna night
shrimp boil
cookout
and no going off the path to change it up.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Worse. Everyone is assigned a night.
Jun 21, 2016, 10:59 AM
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Grandmother has a seafood allergy(read: needs attention)
Hippy and shitforbrains will make passive aggressive comments about the storebought veggies before going hungry-hungry hippos on some fried chicken
Crossfitter and his homemaker will cook enough for 4 people cause portion sizes
My mom has decided to be a vegetarian so will likely make a big deal about that before going hungry-hungry hippos on some fried shrimp
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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lol, that sounds like it's going to be a nightmare
Jun 21, 2016, 11:00 AM
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You've got 3 of the worst types of eaters ever. Allergy, vegetarian, and small portion people.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Oh and the small portion people's kid has a peanut, soy,
Jun 21, 2016, 11:01 AM
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and gluten allergy. She's also lactose intolerant.
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Does she actually have them, or do her parents just want her
Jun 21, 2016, 11:05 AM
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to? I've found it to be about a 50/50 shot when it comes to this stuff. Some people just want things to be wrong with them.
Good luck though, I bet shitforbrains at least will have some xanax for you.
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16306
Joined: 5/13/02
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Yeah our lactose intolerant neice did amazingly well with
Jun 21, 2016, 11:07 AM
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chocolate milk and ice cream, somehow.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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I'm pretty sure I'm lactose intolerant but tolerate it
Jun 21, 2016, 11:08 AM
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#thundersharts
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Only one way to find out***
Jun 21, 2016, 11:09 AM
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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I've always wanted to forcefully stab a needle into the leg
Jun 21, 2016, 11:10 AM
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of a child. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person?
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110%er [5887]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 4884
Joined: 10/21/07
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Re: I've always wanted to forcefully stab a needle into the leg
Jun 21, 2016, 11:13 AM
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Yeah it does. Lakebum was just talking about baking in questionable ingredients into food.
If you want to stab children you're a psychotic monster and need to GTFO. I have young cousins
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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So food first, then forcefully stab a child in the leg with
Jun 21, 2016, 11:16 AM
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a needle? Is that more kosher?
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Save the day with an EpiPen, and engage in a fetish all
Jun 21, 2016, 11:20 AM
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at once. Sounds like a pretty solid move.
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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"Sorry brother, I had no idea she couldn't have boiled
Jun 21, 2016, 11:23 AM
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peanut icecream pasta with a side of edamame. Luckily I bought this epi-pen from the pharmacy an hour ago. God truly works in mysterious ways."
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Heisman Winner [137838]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63772
Joined: 10/22/00
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Closed head injury?***
Jun 21, 2016, 11:12 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Assuming you've already spelled their names bizarrely, not
Jun 21, 2016, 11:23 AM
[ in reply to Pfffft. ] |
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really. Maybe claim autism for any behavioral issues? Not sure if that's caught on yet or not.
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CU Medallion [55704]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 35276
Joined: 11/30/98
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Enjoy ####!***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:47 AM
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Thanks you dolt!!!***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:48 AM
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All-In [40344]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23463
Joined: 7/13/12
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here's an idea
Jun 21, 2016, 10:50 AM
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put milk in freezer
download tinder on shitforbrains phone
pop popcorn
watch fireworks
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16306
Joined: 5/13/02
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Take some earbuds and some other buds.***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:50 AM
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All-In [34569]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 41401
Joined: 4/20/01
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well, bye***
Jun 21, 2016, 10:54 AM
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All-In [27180]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16026
Joined: 10/13/08
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All-TigerNet [11019]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12358
Joined: 7/5/03
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Have you considered the sweet embrace of carbon monoxide?
Jun 21, 2016, 11:14 AM
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Because it could take out everybody quite easily.
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All-In [45047]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 38460
Joined: 8/26/03
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I honestly do not believe we could get that lucky.
Jun 21, 2016, 11:22 AM
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#fangerscrossed
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Lot o points [155750]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65759
Joined: 5/6/13
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Your sister is hippy?
Jun 21, 2016, 11:25 AM
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Any pics? Many lungers like broader women.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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Nothing shows a woman's vitality like her ability
Jun 21, 2016, 11:37 AM
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to grow hair below the neck.
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16306
Joined: 5/13/02
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One thing you forgot - that many people in one house, you
Jun 21, 2016, 11:40 AM
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are gonna bring home at least one of the following:
-lice
-a nasty cough
-norovirus/food poisoning
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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I mean they all suck, but they aren't migrant workers.***
Jun 21, 2016, 11:41 AM
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16306
Joined: 5/13/02
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I got $10 on norovirus/food poisoning.***
Jun 21, 2016, 11:43 AM
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Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
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Shall we start a lunge vacation tontine?***
Jun 21, 2016, 11:44 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79405]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
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Oculus Spirit [83064]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 80139
Joined: 11/29/99
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Relax, and hang with BIL for a few minutes anyway.***
Jun 21, 2016, 12:19 PM
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Replies: 53
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