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Replies: 30
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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1yo barfed in my face since my last post
Nov 6, 2018, 6:56 PM
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Right on cue, wife leaves to go get ready for kids baths. 1yo is staring me in the face with a 1000-yard stare. Then WOOOOSH. Projectile. Full flow. AMAZING volume. And to top it off, it finished up with 2 hour old milk. Niiiice. He has a cough and sniffles and it's just mucus, not the stomach bug. But still. Two of my three have now barfed in my face. 1000-yard stare threw me off. Oldest used to scream in agony just before. New guy just stares. Well, I learned his sign now.
Middle son has yet to barf in my face. Just on my shirt.
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Lot o points [155805]
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you’re 42 with a 1 year old?
Nov 6, 2018, 10:45 PM
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So when my youngest one is off to college (age 49 for me), you’ll be starting 1st grade?
#2blest2bstrest
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Oculus Spirit [81049]
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He thought about retirement then figured "what fun would
Nov 6, 2018, 10:47 PM
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that be?"
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Heisman Winner [135569]
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The lead guitar in our band and a life-long RH pal is a few
Nov 7, 2018, 8:36 AM
[ in reply to you’re 42 with a 1 year old? ] |
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months away from turning 59 and has a 4 year old.
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CU Medallion [54758]
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he got puked on....by life.
Nov 7, 2018, 8:40 AM
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maybe.
unless it was intentional.
but...just...no.
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Heisman Winner [135569]
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It was intentional.
Nov 7, 2018, 8:52 AM
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But that's what happens when you marry a girl 25 years younger than you.
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CU Medallion [54758]
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hmm...trade-off might be worth it, then***
Nov 7, 2018, 8:57 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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I think CS02 is working on a similar deal.***
Nov 7, 2018, 9:00 AM
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CU Medallion [54758]
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i don't think he can get pregnant
Nov 7, 2018, 9:03 AM
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no matter how much he tries
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Heisman Winner [135569]
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I would not have the patience to live EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR
Nov 7, 2018, 9:17 AM
[ in reply to hmm...trade-off might be worth it, then*** ] |
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THE REST OF MY LIFE with someone that young with such a wide gap in life experience and cultural reference, but he really lucked up and found a hippie Western NC mountain girl that is the epitome of an 'old soul' and seems far older than her years. She's very cool and never acted like a woman that age. She and Mrs. Tig are close friends and that's a very telling thing, given Mrs. Tig's patience with 'young adults'. She fell in with our circle of friends from the get-go with ease.
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CU Medallion [66039]
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My son, now 18, did this as I held him up over me
Nov 6, 2018, 11:02 PM
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speaking something, and he vomited directly into my mouth. I have ate the booty and other parts. That was the most disgusting taste in my mouth ever.
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Ok. You win.***
Nov 7, 2018, 8:02 AM
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CU Medallion [54758]
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SheGUAR took a projectile dingleberry to the mouf once,
Nov 7, 2018, 8:26 AM
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courtesy of a 1 or 2 month old LilGUAR#1. It was a 'stars-aligned' perfect storm of conditions...she had just finished changing a #2 diaper, cleaning things up, baby-talking, probably bending down to inspect cleanliness, when LilGUAR#1 sneezed or something, and that last little bit popped out, right into SheGUAR's open mouf.
It's a good thing I wasn't there, or else she would've filed for divorce on grounds of incessant laughter. She brushed & Listerined for an hour
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Sounds like a #1 problem. Learning curve straightened out
Nov 7, 2018, 10:28 AM
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I bet. You're on a freaking NBA shot clock when you change a diaper. Every second wasted is another second you could get sprayed in the face, or something else comes out. Get everything ready, in it's place. MAKE SURE you have wipes. Get the diaper out and opened. THEN go in and do the change as fast as possible. 30 seconds is the goal. You can cheat and get lucky with 45 seconds if applying diaper cream. But the whole goal is to get it done, done right, and done ASAP.
Total concentration is necessary. Let nothing distract you. Oldest comes in whining about something, ignore it. Phone rings, ignore it.
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CU Medallion [54758]
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^^THIS^^ (glad it's behind me, tho)
Nov 7, 2018, 10:56 AM
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I had my plan-of-attack in place before I'd even start changing...guess who never got peed/pooped on?? ME.
Guess who did, at least twice a week? (granted, she probably changed diapers at a 30:1 ratio compared to me, but still)...she'd sit there, and tickle, or cute-talk, just tempting fate.
Heyull-to-the-naw
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Hall of Famer [23994]
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Re: 1yo barfed in my face since my last post
Nov 7, 2018, 6:53 AM
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did he get a flu shot? my little one has had sniffles and just got a cough after getting the flu shot
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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That's because the flu shot causes the flu. Duh.***
Nov 7, 2018, 7:16 AM
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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That's disgusting.***
Nov 7, 2018, 7:17 AM
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Hall of Famer [20571]
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I was VERY fortunate. Sorta.
Nov 7, 2018, 7:20 AM
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The first time my wife left me at home with my son for the weekend, he was 1. I took him in the bathroom and he projectile vomited... not on me... but on EVERYTHING in the bathroom. It was like an SNL skit.
After gracing his little ears with the first FUUUUUUCCCCCCC KKKKKKK he had ever heard, I spent at least 2 hours smelling that while cleaning it up. It was in ALL the nooks and crannies.
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Oh, I cleaned up too. See after the vomiting stops
Nov 7, 2018, 8:06 AM
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wife of makes her grand appearance. Hauls now empty son away to care for him and leaves me covered in barf AND with cleanup.
Hour and a half later, after cleaning myself off, cleaning the barf off the floor, rinsing all barf off clothes, starting a load of laundry and taking a shower I go upstairs and wife of and little one are in bed reading a book. He's happy as can be. I'm like.......better stop here.
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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go on....***
Nov 7, 2018, 9:10 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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No. I stopped at the right place.***
Nov 7, 2018, 11:19 AM
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All-In [40656]
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Doesnt sound all that bad
Nov 7, 2018, 8:59 AM
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Gotta get that milk
-MauldinT
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CU Medallion [66039]
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Dude
Nov 7, 2018, 9:57 AM
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.
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All-In [40656]
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Would absolutely disappoint***
Nov 7, 2018, 10:46 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Still think she needs an attitude adjustment
Nov 7, 2018, 11:20 AM
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I'm very consistent on how I accomplish that btw.
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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That smell never leaves you.***
Nov 7, 2018, 9:10 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Yeah. Well milk is probably the worst. Boiled peanuts are
Nov 7, 2018, 10:31 AM
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surprisingly bad too. Nothing smells "good", but there are certainly levels of severity based on what's been eaten.
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Oculus Spirit [81049]
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This whole thing just sounds horrible.***
Nov 7, 2018, 10:32 AM
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All-In [46816]
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Daughter of and son of both have had a nagging cough
Nov 7, 2018, 11:38 AM
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for what has seemed like a month now.
Son of also has snotty nose for about a week.
Doc says it's just going around.
Kids are cess pools.
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Replies: 30
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50
